Riding Down her Road
by Iscratchandbite
Summary: The last installment of the Step into her shoes series. Alexis is going through Breaking Dawn - will she have a normal wedding and afterlife or will she inherit the bad luck of book-Bella?
1. Preface

**Hello guys, thanks for joining me in the fourth (most likely last) installment of teh Step int her shoes series. Sorry it took a while, but I promised myself I had to finish this annoying chapter I was just writing before I posted the story.**

**Thanks for all the reviews in the previous stories, and if you're new to the series thanks for joining.**

**If you've just clicked onto this story, I very much suggest you read the last three, otherwise you will never have any idea what's going on.**

**I want to finish this story before the movie Breaking Dawn comes out, so I'm hoping to update nice and regularly. And it will not be like the movie and be in two parts.**

**Oh, and lastly (I think) this story is rated M for a good reason this time, not just me being paranoid. So, you can all look forward to that (but I have written _those _types of chapters serperately so it's not neccessary to read them if you don't want to)**

**Okay, I think that's enough A/N (you guys know the longest one is almost always at the start)**

**Read on!**

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**Riding Down her road**

**Book One: Bella**

Preface

A promise is a promise, an oath an oath, and I'd broken enough of both to know they were more than just words. I would not break another, and I would not break this one – even if I did have a say, which I seemed to have very little.

To stop, to retreat on my promise, would be treason to myself, a betrayal of my own core as well as _its. _I would not do that, the mantra swirled in my head, a constant stream of words at the back of my consciousness; they were screamed by that annoying little voice that was my conscience, the voice that always seemed to urge me into reckless, silly things – things that hurt myself as well as others, lately it seemed the pain overweighed the good my actions caused.

The thoughts distracted me, and for a moment everything was clear, I was aware of my surroundings, then everything once again fell away except for that one thing, that one thing that required all my concentration, that one thing that in itself was a million things, the thing that kept my gift constantly running. In those moments of clarity when I was not focused on _it _that I realized it was slowly draining my life away.

_I was not an oath-breaker!_

My silent chant fell silent as most of my conscious thought gave way to the instinct, the instinct and motions that kept _it _alive.

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**Yeah, I'm mean, sorry, but if you review I'll quickly come out with a _real _chapter, not just this little taste.**

**Review!**


	2. Remember

**Sorry for the short preface, and thanks for the amazing reviews after it. I'm also sorry because this chapter is short, I didn't realize how short until just now - only 4 pages on word. I can't remember if the first few chapters are this long, but I know they're longer towards the end.**

**Anyway, I'm surprised no guesses for what the preface is about. Oh well, you'll all find out soon enough (though I'm just about to write that part)**

**Okay, shut up iscratchandbite, let the people read.**

**Read on!**

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1. Remember

I hadn't seen Jacob since graduation. It's been seven days since then, seven days of no school, no reason not to go to La Push, no reason for him to not come and see me back up here.

Actually, there was a reason – my yelled dismissal of him that day at my house, my refusal to continue our whacked up relationship. I had never regretted something more while at the same time relieved and thankful I had worked up the guts to do it. Well I told myself I was relieved and grateful, and it had to be true to some degree, but mostly I just felt hurt.

I was happy that at the very least Jacob hadn't run away, gone wolf like in the books. I had some responsibility for that, I had sent him a text – because I couldn't allow myself to see him. My will would vanish and I'd soon be back where I started.

The text was simple, but I guess he took it as enough of a threat to obey.

_Don't you dare run, I will track you down._

Billy had called several times; Charlie had told me that he had wanted to connect me with his son. He wanted to know why Jacob refused to come to Forks when he visited my father. Charlie said Jacob was in a bad state, and my father guessed it was because of the floral wedding invitation that had turned up at his door the morning after graduation.

Charlie hadn't been happy when he first realized I had been serious that night.

"_Well, the thing is, I'm giving you notice now. So you can't get mad, or throw a fit, or throw anything else for that matter. Dad, be calm okay? Edward and I are getting married."_

_Charlie's red face had turned purple and he gulped several times. His eyes were wide, deep brown and shocked as well as mad. They glared hard at Edward, like he was imagining he had his gun from home in his hands and was looking at him through the crosshairs. His face was starting to turn blue, from purple, but he did not yell. Maybe he was choking on his tongue; I expected at least a little show, a small scene._

_He probably thought I was pregnant – did he know I was infertile? _

_Edward took the quiet as a time to explain himself, his voice silky smooth, confident, and amazingly audible in the raucous crowd. I wondered if anyone else was listening._

"_Charlie, I realize I've gone about this out of order. Traditionally, I should have asked you fist. I mean no disrespect, but since Bella has already said yes and I don't want to diminish her choice in the matter, instead of asking you for her hand, I'm asking you for your blessing. I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life, and –by some miracle – she loves me the same way, too. Will you give me your blessing?"_

_Charlie was silent for a long amount of time, his angry gaze softening as his blue pace slowly returned to its usual, pale shade. He studied the two of us for a moment, a long sigh burst from his lips. "I guess I'm not that surprised. I knew I'd have to deal with something like this soon enough."_

_He studied us for a long moment, and I saw a loss in his eyes. "You're sure about this?" he whispered, I barely heard his words._

"_I am, one hundred percent," I said too quickly, my mind came up with a picture of Jacob's face. Okay, maybe 99 percent sure, but that wasn't enough to falter my stride._

"_What's the rush? You're not..." Charlie started._

_I quickly stopped him, guessing the words. "No, Dad. I'm not." I released Edward and stepped up to my father, whispering the words in my ear so no one else (but Edward and any other Cullens that may be here of course) could hear. "Still a virgin, Dad," I promised._

"_We're going to College together in the fall, Charlie. I'd like to do that the right way. It's how I was raised."_

"_Knew this was coming," Charlie muttered, then suddenly grinned. "Ha!" he crowed._

_I frowned as he started to laugh, almost doubling over. A few people around looked at him curiously, before turning back to their own conversations. "Okay fine," Charlie choked out, "get married, but you have to tell your mom. I'm not saying one word to Renee! That's all yours!"_

Of course I hadn't been frightened. I had faced far worse, and if the book was anything to go by I guessed Renee wouldn't have made a big deal, and she didn't.

"Well, Bella," Renee had tutted on the phone after I revealed the news to her. "I'm a little miffed you waited so long to tell me. Plane tickets only get more expensive."

"Waited so long, Edward and I only just got engaged," _publicly, _I had added in my head.

"Oh, well, that's a surprise; I assumed when you came to visit me that things were already pretty much sown up, if you know what I mean. It seemed pretty obvious, or can I just read you too well? I didn't say anything at the time because I knew it wouldn't do any good. You normally stick by your decisions, sweetie – unlike me who can't make her mind up about breakfast." She giggled at herself, and I found myself smiling and biting my lip. I hadn't spent enough time with my mother, my heart had hurt at the thought I would soon be leaving her for good.

"You don't – you're not – making my mistakes, Bella. I know I've said a lot of bad things about matrimony and stupidity – and I'm not taking those back – but those things were specifically applied to _me. _You're a completely different person than I am. You make your own mistakes, and I'm sure you'll have your own regrets in life. Commitment has never been one of your problems – you'll probably do it better than most forty-year olds. My little middle-aged baby, you grew up so fast. I guess that's my fault too, you always had to look after me, ever since we left your father." She sighed, a crackling whoosh on my end of the phone.

"Oh mum, don't be hard on yourself. You did a great job with me." She probably had, I just hadn't been there to witness it. "You're the best mum I've ever had." In the less than a week I had actually been in her presence she had been a million times the mother my old one had been.

"Silly Bella, you have to say that, I'm you're only mother. Unless that girl you emailed me about is getting serious with Charlie."

Emily and Charlie's relationship had grown greatly. If I wasn't getting married in a week I would have thought they would have been the soonest wedding. Embry seemed just as happy as me, and that was not just because his mother was happy and occupied enough to not worry about him slipping out to join the pack.

"They are," I had answered.

"Ooh, I'm so happy; we're a happy family again!" She had squealed.

Renee had arrived in Forks days after, and had rented a hotel room. Phil would arrive the day before the wedding; he was too busy with his career. I was glad he was gone even though that subtle grudge I had held against him had disappeared after Charlie revealed his relationship with Tiffany.

Charlie was annoyed at Renee for not having a huge reaction at me, but he couldn't really blame anyone so he resigned himself to quiet grumbles and sullenness when I was alone with him.

Renee had immersed herself in wedding preparation with Esme. I don't know how my soon-to-be mother in law managed to always trick Renee when they constantly went out to coffee or had some here. Renee adored Esme though, but I guess it would be extremely hard _not _to. The Cullens had somehow side-stepped almost every one of Renee's requests to see their home – I guessed because the vampires didn't want to be limited in their preparation for the wedding by having to appear human, have four of them lift something they could balance on a fingertip, and move at human speed.

They had let her see the house before they started preparing, and she had gushed to me about the beauty of the place all through dinner that night.

I spent a fair amount of time with my mother since her arrival – as much as I could. I sat with her while we painted our toenails, took her to Port Angeles to shop, hiked with her, and even wanted to go to La Push with her before I decided against it. In fact, it was like I was trying to replace Jacob with her, every time I felt that twang in my chest after thoughts of Jacob I would convince her to hang out with me.

All the time I spent away from Renee, and away from Alice and Esme (though thankfully I didn't need to do much) I spent with Edward. When I was with him all thoughts of Jacob seemed to cease, a wonderful release from the guilt.

The guilt was back in full force now. Edward was gone, and with a very energetic Renee – who just happened to be irritating intuitive – with Charlie downstairs Edward had to wait until Renee left until he could come. Renee also had the habit of sneaking in and giving me a kiss while I pretended to sleep.

I had an open book resting on my chest; it could not distract me from thoughts of my wolf-boy. I wanted to talk to him, contact him in some way. I groaned at myself and shoved my face into the pillows.

"You know I will not allow the love of my life to suffocate herself," a silky voice said and I turned in the direction I heard it. Edward was suddenly inside, leaning against the wall beside the open window.

God he was gorgeous, in the moonlight or not, especially with that sexy, crooked smirk on his muzzle. I wanted to lick it.

"Renee gone?" my voice was a tiny bit gruff. My hormones were running full-throttle now the wedding was so close, I just couldn't help myself. At night I was in a tangle of sheets with Edward. It was a rehearsal, I told him, just so we knew what to expect.

Edward always smiled and shook his head at me when I said that, but was not averse to more kissing. Unfortunately the only nudity that came about was Edward's shirt coming off, which I always made the most of, giggling internally at the fact that technically I had gotten to second base.

"Yes, she left early. Alice is coming over to fit Charlie's tux tomorrow – early – so Charlie decided to get some rest if he had to get up early on a Sunday."

Weekends and week days didn't really have a meaning for me without school; I made the most of sleeping in every morning and staying up very late with Edward each night. "Aw, poor dad," this was half because he still had to work, half that he did have to endure the little pixie's fittings.

I spent the rest of the night in relative bliss, kissing Edward and pushing as many boundaries as I could before Edward pulled away with an amused sigh, humming and stroking my side as he coaxed me into sleep.

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	3. Bachelor

**This is a better length chapter. Sorry I haven't updaed, I had a lot of assignments (still do) that I want to try and get a lead on... and I'm making a cat costume for a sport carnival. I'm going to be having a Japanese Student here tomorrow, so once again i might have trouble updating.**

**Anyway, thanks for all the amazing reviews, I love and cherish each and everyone.**

**So guys, Read On!**

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"You really should go."

"A few more minutes won't hurt."

"Edward, I'm losing the will to refuse you," I warned.

We were tangled on my bed, my sheets ruffled and folded over beneath me as we kissed. I ignored the cold, ignored the chill of the night and him, because everywhere he touched seemed to flame. I had to chant in my head, _one more day_, just so I wouldn't try and rip at his clothes.

I leaned back a little, deciding I was a little _too _heated and into the kiss. Edward lay under me, I didn't remember or recall that we had rolled but I knew our positions had been swapped. My chocolate hair – looking more like black in the moonlight – fell from my face and tickled his. He moved one hand from my shoulder to twirl the lock, grinning as he took a large draft.

He loved the way I smelt now that it did not affect him. He said he had liked it before – but described it more of smelling the bouquet without drinking the wine, though to him it felt like being a heroin addict touching it but not taking it.

That changed when I realized I could take his thirst away. I normally didn't let his thirst rise anywhere past how I'd feel after a workout on a cold day with no water bottle. Vampire thirst was much worse than that feeling, like your throat was a desert– and that was only my human experience of it as their thirst flowed from their throats to mine. A vampire had hyper sensitive nerves, they would feel it much more than I could even fathom. So it was easier, on both them and me, to take their thirst away before it grew to a level that was painful for myself and them.

I was saving animals, oh what a little greenie I had become. It had nothing to do with the fact that Edward could kiss me, hold me, be with me, for longer and with less danger than when he was thirsty.

My gift didn't help the fact that his body needed blood though. I wished I could do more study on their systems. I had so many questions, like what happened to the blood after they drank? Where did the waste go or was the conversion of energy, of matter, so perfect that there was no waste?

I also really wanted to understand more about their gifts – like how it was possible for Edward to read people's thoughts? Did his mind somehow collect and connect some kind of electric or radio wave our minds gave off? If so how did he do it from such long distances? And how come people like Izzy and I can deflect that collection or whatever it was.

It hurt my brain to think of those things, and I rested my mind with some decidedly science-less kissing. With a less throbbing frontal lobe I pulled back again, staring up at him now. Definitely hadn't noticed that change.

Edward kept his weight off me, keeping his body just lightly pressed against mine. I guessed it was necessary, but I wished he would squish me to him, because while he felt like stone he did not weigh it. In fact, he weighed exactly what he would if he were human (another experiment). I guess it was another of the vampire's camouflage. It would be strange if a 'human' as small as Alice weighed a tonne.

Edward grinned at me from above, that gorgeous grin. God he was perfect, his face and the chest that peeked from his unbuttoned shirt. I ran my hand over his hard stomach, feeling the defined planes of it and his chest. Edward's beautiful black eyes stared at me with longing at my touch, a separate emotion from the massive amount of love that was always present as he looked at me. It made me feel warm and tingly inside – and that had no connection to the hormones. I would happily spend a night just looking into his eyes, towards his perfect soul, wondering how I was ever so lucky, what I had done that made God so amazing as to give me this life.

I felt a touch of sorrow and guilt for Izzy, she was missing out on this life, on the inexplicable love pouring from my vampire to me. My heart was beating frantically, not just from the previous lack of oxygen, but as if it was trying to jump out my chest and offer itself to him. My heart was his since that day I woke up on the plane – if not they day I first read Twilight.

I had lost those books long ago – and they meant nothing to me anymore. Who would take words instead of memories? Anyway, I had no idea where they were. Victoria had burnt them for all I knew. I was just glad that Izzy hadn't had the chance to read them, or understand it at all. She had yet to approach me to show she was not as ignorant as I assumed, so until disproved I will believe she knew as little as everyone else. Well, maybe a little more – but how would she explain what had happened that night with Victoria when she herself had seemed so confused that night. No, she did not know, and it was my full intention to not tell her, or anyone in fact, despite what Alice liked to think. The pixie vampire was the only one I had told, and was adamant I would let the secret slip out some day.

No, I wouldn't jeopardize this life for that. The love in Edward's eyes right now, it was worth the minor struggle that it was to keep this secret – actually it was barely a struggle at all. Somehow I had changed the course of this life enough that most of my previous knowledge on how this life was supposed to follow through seemed obsolete. It was like I had been riding down book-Bella's road, when I had missed a turn and was stuck on an unknown one-way street, only hints of what may come ahead on my memory of the maps I had read so long ago.

I didn't mind the unknown; it was so much more rewarding in the end.

"Bella, stop looking at me like that – or Emmett and Jasper really will have to drag me from you."

"Like what?" I mumbled; voice a little high in my breathless whisper. Of course we always had to whisper, Charlie may sleep deeply, but not _that _deeply.

"Like you were blind and you can now see the sun, and you never want to look away."

"Oh Edward," I giggled. "You're much more than the sun to me; you're my universe, my life, my everything."

"Not helping, Bella."

I giggled again, but made it last too long. I used the laugh as a cover to steel myself – Edward had to leave, he had to hunt before the honeymoon.

Aw, the honeymoon, I felt a dreamy smile come to my lips as I thought of it, trying to picture the illustrious Isle Esme from the books. What would it be like? Like the Cullen mansion, or would it be different - made of wood or bamboo maybe?

"Go," I said quickly as Edward started to move to kiss me again. "It's your bachelor party, you have to go! I've already had my bachelorette party."

Edward smirked, his expression curious, amused, and irritated all in one. "I very much would like to know what happened that night – everyone is keeping studiously silent. There were no strippers were there?"

I giggled, shaking my head so hard my cheeks hit the side of the pillow with a 'poof' sound. "Definitely no strippers, and trust me you do _not _need to know."

My bachelorette party consisted of the Cullen boys being kicked out of the house and then me being sat down and explained exactly what I needed to do when I slept with him. It was tomato-blush embarrassing, and I usually had tough skin about things like that. Even thinking about it now made my cheeks warm a little. Yes, it was _that _bad. I mean, jeez, even Izzy joined in (apparently she hadn't been a virgin when changed; guess she definitely did have another life).

I was extremely glad that Renee didn't come – it was bad enough that sweet little Esme decided to teach me as well. I tried to forget exactly what we had spoken and done that night. I shuddered still.

"Was it that bad?" Edward noticed my tremble. I nodded in response, clenching my jaw and banishing the thoughts from my mind. "Well, maybe I shouldn't have my bachelor party then – I'd imagine it would be similar – just with more hunting involved."

I shook my head. "Oh Edward, if your bachelor party was anything like mine I would be _very _worried."

Edward frowned, "I will find out one day Swan, if I have to torture it out of you."

"You'd never hurt me."

"Who said it would hurt you," Edward wiggled his eyebrows.

I gasped and blushed. Edward was never that forward. He must be as eager for the honeymoon as I was; at least I hoped damn hard he was just as eager, the fear of rejection in me stabbed for a moment. It wasn't an uncommon feeling, almost every make-out session where I tried to get a little further ended in disappointment.

"I really shouldn't go," Edward whispered, kissing my forehead.

I smiled softly, reassuringly. He must have seen the dejection in my eyes. "You need to go. You should fill the tank," I grinned as I patted his flat stomach. "I don't think I'll want you gone on a hunting trip on my honeymoon, even if it's only an hour."

Edward frowned and sighed, knowing I was right. Just in this case it would not be just an hour, but I didn't want him to know I knew where he was taking me. If I had said a couple of hours he may be suspicious and then get annoyed at Alice when he thinks she's told me.

Then he might see she didn't tell me, or any of his family, and might get suspicious of me. I had lasted two years and only slipped once; I didn't intend to do it again.

"You know, bachelor parties are only for those who regret leaving behind their single life. I couldn't be more eager to leave that behind me. There's really no point to this, I can catch a bunch of deer and be back in an hour or two."

I ignored the end part of the statement, it sounded too good to think hard on, I might find myself agreeing. "You consider yourself single now?"

"You know that's not what I mean," Edward growled, sharp teeth very softly running over my jaw.

I shivered, but not from the cold, it felt too good. "I do," I conceded, "but you hold a lot to a piece of paper given by Angela's father. I would have thought our relationship was more than that, it seems painfully inadequate to assume our bond needs public union to be real – it's belittling actually."

"Cold feet," Edward chuckled in response to my words. I glared at him, pulling away. He pouted a little; he was not immune to the indulgence of kissing.

"No, just slightly offended and worried that this isn't completely serious to you," I waved my hand between us. I had started off teasing, but grown serious towards the end. Maybe I was growing irrational with the hour, and the sleeplessness of my bachelorette party. I knew there was still truth to my observations, silly fretting or not.

Edward took his face in my hands, moving them from my hair and lower back. He stroked my cheeks, reaching from the edge of my lips to my tear ducts. "Bella, there is nothing about our relationship that is insubstantial. You know why I wish to be wed, plus I was raised that way and I know you'd regret not having this experience."

"I do want to be married Edward," I sighed, looking down. "I'm being silly, aren't I?"

Edward lifted my face, still stroking my cheeks, so I had to look at him. "Don't ever be afraid to voice your opinions, Bella. Or wish to take them back. I love every moment I'm allowed into your head." He lifted his hands, cupping my temples. "In between my hands is something complicated, but wonderful and beautiful, and it is something I can't live without."

I couldn't help kissing him after that. "I love you," I mumbled over his jaw, smothering the angular feature with kisses.

"I love you too, more than anything, and definitely enough to forgo a bachelor party."

I smiled, he was very good at changing the subject, or maybe I had a short attention span. "I love you just as much, and very much enough to let you go. Now shoo and have fun."

"Ah, but my brothers are not yet here."

"Oh, that changes things."

Edward nodded and captured my lips again.

I kissed him for a few more minutes, at the moment content to let my need for him smoulder in the background, enjoying the sweetness of being gentle with no pressure to push this further.

It was Edward who pushed the boundaries this time, but it was he who also pulled away. "This will be hard," he whispered, and I knew what he was referring too. I liked to think we had been close, but inside I knew we were not close. I couldn't imagine how hard it was for Edward every moment he kissed me, especially when I all but strangled him when we kissed. If he were human he would possibly have been hurt, but he wasn't and I would take the soreness any day for being close to Edward.

"We'll manage."

"It's so hard to concentrate Bella," his golden eyes, glinting in the moonlight, were stressed. "I won't be able to control myself, you'll get hurt." I'd heard this before, several times a day lately.

"I'll be fine."

"Bella..."

"Edward..." I mocked his tone, grinning. He didn't smile. I rolled my eyes. "Trust me, if you go too far I will stop you. I trust you'll understand when you feel a strange stabbing sensation?"

"Bella, you're too confident in your abilities."

"And you are too insecure about yours. Edward, let me trust you, and let yourself trust yourself."

Edward groaned, but it was not a rebuttal or a refusal. I smiled, and went back to kissing at his neck. Edward was staring at the ceiling, running his hands though my hair.

"Are you sure about this," he finally said.

I huffed. "Edward, we were just talking..."

"I don't mean about the honeymoon, I mean afterwards. Will you manage? You'll be leaving everyone you know: Charlie, Renee, all you're school friends, Jessica, Lauren, Tyler, Angela, Ben, Mike."

"Oh yes, Mike, how will I go on?"

Edward growled, his grip tightening on me. He couldn't honestly still be – I wouldn't say jealous – worried Mike held any appeal to me? "Be serious, Bella."

Truthfully, as much as I knew I would miss them all, I felt blessed to have known them, felt the true love of parents, for the small time I was allowed. The smaller was probably the better, I knew enough to feel privileged, but not so much as to be devastated by the loss. Anyway, as I had explained before, it wasn't a complete loss, I could work around it. Emails and letters didn't require being a Homo-Sapien as a condition to send, and showed little to indicate I was no longer of that species.

"I will miss them," I conceded after my pause. "Better to have loved and lost to have never loved at all."

"I don't like it when you smile like that." Edward was frowning, he thumbed one of my perfectly plucked brows (Alice had done all she could before the day of the wedding – 'less prep' she had said).

"Like what?"

"Like you don't want to show when you're sad. You're face contradicts your voice; it's disconcerting and a little insulting when we are alone. You don't need to hide anything from me."

I shook my head, biting my lip. "What you don't know doesn't hurt you. You don't need the guilt from my sadness, because as sad as I will be I'll still be a hundred-fold times happier than if I had to choose the alternative."

"I'm selfish for letting you be changed."

"I'm selfish for wishing it. Now shut up with your pessimism, tonight you should be happy – you're freedom is dying by the hour."

"Hah," Edward guffawed. "I hardly think of you as a ball and chain – more an excitable puppy tied to my wrist."

It was my turn to fake laugh. I ignored the hints of truth in it, because I knew the moment I was a vampire I would probably be leading him like an overeager dog on a leash, choking itself as it tries to urge its owner faster. I would be bouncy off the walls (literally, none of the vampires I knew had done it and I wanted to see if it were possible).

Edward groaned then, I looked up, confused. He explained. "It seems my brothers are not offering me the chance to bow out of this one."

I giggled past the wish he would stay – it was an unconscious wish and just like if you focused you can stop blinking, I can stop wanting him here. It hurts both ways, dry eyes one way, emptiness the other. "Have fun."

There was an ear-splitting noise, that while quiet and short still made me release Edward to clutch at my ears – vampire fingernails over glass. "If you don't send Edward out," Emmett's voice hissed menacingly, "We're coming in after him."

I could feel where Emmett was, clinging onto the wall beside the window pane. He was invisible in the night, but my gift didn't require sight. My gift was not strong from afar, but I had enough strength built up to stab at Emmett's eardrums. I heard him grunt and heard a thud as his body fell to the ground. Edward chuckled.

"Some of us can still be deafened," I whisper/yelled.

"That was unnecessary," Emmett whisper/yelled back.

I giggled again. "Go, before Emmett decides to get revenge."

Edward stood and had his shirt back on in a second, already buttoned up. He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Get some sleep; you'll have a big day tomorrow."

"I'll dream of you."

"And I'll meet you at the altar."

There was a hiss outside after our lovey-dovey talk – it felt like Jasper did it.

Edward grinned, sinking into a crouch and launching himself out the window too fast for my eyes to follow. There was a thud outside and two grunts from Jasper and Emmett. I couldn't wait until I could do that.

"Catch a mountain lion for me," I whispered, already sinking back into my bed and positioning the previously mussed up sheet over me.

I had no response over than a slight gust of wind outside that was made by their speeding bodies.

I settled back into my pillow, trying to lull myself to sleep. The pillow and mattress was soft, but the bed was warming and it felt almost wrong. I was so used to having it cold that it took me a little longer to get comfortable.

I found myself thinking of tomorrow, and the day after, and getting nervous. I really wished I had paid attention to the dress now; I had no idea what I would be wearing tomorrow. I didn't even know what it would look like; Alice had barred me from going to the room she had decorated for the wedding at the bachelorette party. She said she wanted to give me the full experience when I walked down the aisle. I had frowned at her and asked if she really wanted me to stop the march while I gawked at the room.

I had a vague idea, but that was from the memory of the book Breaking Dawn. I wished I could read it now, prepare, but I was sure the books were gone forever. I would have to trust myself.

I didn't know if Alice was going to change her plans. I had only ever seen her once completely alone since she had started planning the wedding, and then she had hissed in my ear that she was annoyed she couldn't read Breaking Dawn to check what she would have done. She really did want to surprise me and wanted to make sure I was completely unprepared.

Yes, she is a very kind pixie. I grumbled and pulled my heavy sheets over my ear. Well, I hadn't told her one aspect of what I thought the wedding would look like. I was hoping it would be just as in the book, and telling her would only change her plans.

I did have a little input into the wedding, but that wasn't really about how it would look more about my guests and I.

Alice wanted to put me in stilettos, I had refused outright. Unless Edward was wearing heels I would not be. I didn't want to be taller than him. I was going barefoot, something Alice often muttered angrily about.

I had also made sure she invited _all _of the pack, every single one from Leah to Sam to Brady. I also had Alice invite Laurent along with the Denalis. I wanted to see if Laurent was vegetarian after our encounter. I know his thirst would have returned soon after I took it away, but I hoped it had made an impact.

I hoped the pack would come also because of the used-to-be nomad. If he came wearing contacts I could frighten him into vegetarianism with both the wolves and the Cullens. Actually, maybe I could frighten him myself. Soon I would be a vampire, and if my gift now was this strong, when I was a vampire...

I found myself falling asleep to fantasies of how I could use my gift, imagining how I could heal, and change bodies. Maybe being a doctor like Carlisle wouldn't be such a bad option.

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**I was thinking about doing an outtake fr Bella's bachelorette party, but I think that would just be embarrassing, and that you guys would have enough imagination to guess what happened. But, if I get enough people wanting one, I might write it. This is and M-rated story after all.**

**So, next chapter is teh strt of the wedding. You guys excited?**


	4. Goodbyes

**Okay, I guess I have a lot to explain. I've been having a lot of problems lately - firstly I had o time when I was hosting the Taiwanese student and a Japanese student immediately after that - then on the last day the Japanese girl was here I caught the flu which kept me dead-feeling for a week after that. So I missed a whole week of school, and now I have to catch up. I should still be catching up now but I'm procrastinating so I decided to stop being a terrible author and post a chapter. **

**I'm sorry, it's not nearly long enough to make up for the lack of updates.**

**Anyway, read on, and sorry for the long A/N**

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3. Goodbyes

I wake up late, with a groan because I was having a good dream, but in those few moments it take me to roll over, curl up into a ball, and try to go back to sleep and continue the dream I've forgotten what it was about. All I remember I was with Edward, and I was very nervous.

So I groan, and jump out of bed running for something to replace the warm sheets. I stopped when I was halfway to my hoodie, sighing. Normally Edward would be there, fetching whatever I needed. The room was very empty without him.

Actually, it was pretty empty period. There was my bed, and then there were the few boxes of stuff that hadn't been shipped out to the Cullen's house. Most of my belongings now sat in Edward's room, sheathed in cardboard or bubble wrap.

I was surprised how little the amount of things I had chosen to keep. I took some of my clothing, but most I sent to a welfare centre. I packed copies of the photographs of the childhood I did not remember, jewellery that had special meaning to me (like the wolf bracelet still at my wrist) and the plush toy I clutched in one of the photos of me when I was four.

The rest I left for Charlie, the other little toys that still stood where they had been when I came just around two years ago. It didn't just feel a lifetime ago, it was a lifetime ago, the start of this lifetime. Soon I would begin another, as a vampire.

I would miss this life, but I couldn't say that about my previous life. After the change I would probably forget it all together, which would not be such a bad thing. Anyway, I could definitely keep a secret I didn't remember.

I studied the room; this is one of the things I needed to remember when I was a vampire. I needed to remember that I had an amazing life here, short as it was. I wanted to remember each minute of it, cradle the good memories to me. Nothing bad in my life had resulted in what I had; it had been what I had done. Charlie was a great father, extremely loving and protective if he had been a little work obsessed.

Renee – I could hear her downstairs – was a good mother too; in those two weeks I had been in her presence she'd been much better than my last mother. She had been loving, happy, funny, and understanding and very much not controlling. I was sure if I had spent more time with her our relationship would have been more friends than mother and daughter.

Phil – he had arrived yesterday – I didn't really care too much about to establish what our relationship was. But even so he was better than my stepfather had been. He was protective of Renee and very loving, going along with all of her silly ideas to make her happy. I hadn't realized just how smitten they were before I had seen them yesterday at dinner.

Tiffany I didn't know very well, but she was every bit as smitten as Renee and Phil, and while Charlie tried to hide it he was the same. Charlie was happy, that was all that mattered. Embry told me he was just as grateful to Charlie as I was to his mother, Tiffany had mellowed down since meeting Charlie. Her strictness towards her son seemed to have come from being single.

So those loose ends were tied, I didn't have the guilt of knowing I would leave Charlie alone, because he would not be alone. Another bonus was Tiffany could cook.

All my high school friends wouldn't miss me; they'd forget soon, another end tied.

The wedding would be my farewell to the whole town, another end tied.

It sucks how the only loose end has to be the biggest one, the one that seems able to unravel everything.

I frowned at my wrist, still reaching out for my jumper. My skin had erupted in goose bumps; I had been standing in the cold too long. I didn't care about it though, that wasn't the thing that caused a chill down my spine.

What could I do for Jacob?

The answer was painful enough to make me drop to the ground.

Nothing... I could do nothing. My heart ripped in my chest, and I choked around the lump in my throat. Today I was leaving my friend forever, leaving him stranded in the middle of the ocean while I caught I ride in the sea plane, flying off towards the shore of happiness that wasn't even in his sight.

I sighed; this really wasn't what I should be thinking about, not on my wedding day. I groaned and snatched the hoodie, pulling it over my head and heading to the bathroom, bare feet and toes cool and sending little stabs of pain as I flexed them with walking. They had been stoic all night, despite the nervous worrying edge of my dream I knew I had slept like the dead. Maybe that was why I had been so worried in the dream – it wasn't hard to guess what it could have been and why not moving would have been _very _obstructive.

My heart fluttered a little. I knew I was ready to sleep with Edward, I was so geared up for it I all but begged him each night, but the knowledge that I would actually be getting what I wanted... I wasn't as fearless as I played off to him. I knew it would hurt – with my healing that didn't really seem a big problem. What I was worried about was that I mightn't be... good. I mean, don't guys just want to pound into their girls?

I had a memory of Jacob's voice, _Bella, he could kill you, like – I don't know – split you in half with a thrust_. I should be able to stop him if I was hurt – I was glad I was not book-Bella and had some form of protection. Still, if Edward was all, I don't know, lustful... well, even when Jacob had done that it had taken a few moments. And then there was Logan, I had had no defence there, my chances against Edward were worse than that.

I felt a shiver of fear run down my spine, probably irrational, as thoughts of Logan flushed into my mind. None of those thoughts were good. I groaned, pulling at my fringe and frowning into the mirror.

The girl who looked back looked strange. I hadn't seen true fear in the girl's eyes for months, if not years. It made her blue eyes wide, her narrow brows rise high, and her full lips protrude, but none of these things in a good way. It accentuated the hollowness of my eye sockets, the eyelashes a touch too short and clumped together, the yellow crookedness of my teeth, the redness of my cold nose, and the frizzy knotted mess of caramel/chocolate hair falling all around my face.

Then the picture changed, the girl changed, and soon the little girl was not little. She was taller – I must have been curling in on myself – her chin jutted out, and her cat-like eyes were narrowed. A muscle protruded from the side of her face from her clenched jaw.

I wasn't aware of my subconscious's decision to refuse to be afraid, to be frightened, but I realized looking at my stubborn expression. I huffed as I grabbed my hair brush, attacking the knots, not caring about the strands of hair that came with it. My hair was thick and strong. I doubted I would pull on it hard enough to uproot it anyway, that made me wonder if the vampire change fixed baldness, made me wonder if vampire hair grew.

I decided I'd experiment with Alice – I heard her wish she could have as long a hair as Rosalie or Esme or me. Maybe when I was a vampire and stronger though, I had other thoughts about how I would use my gift before I changed, and those related to what I guessed the subject of my dream was.

After scrubbing at my teeth, washing my face, and generally trying to do as much to make Alice's job easier as I could, I headed downstairs.

Charlie and Renee were already there, Phil too, clinging to Renee's side and looking very awkward in her ex-husband's house.

I smiled at them all, Phil included, and they all grinned up at me, Phil included.

"Here's the lucky girl," Renee squealed, all but skipping out of her seat to pull me into a hug. "Sorry," she giggled as I blinked, "this might be the only time I can hug you. Alice says I'm not to touch her masterpiece – nothing about when it is a blank canvas."

I shook my head, laughing as I pulled her into an even tighter hug, gripping with all my force. She was right; I probably wouldn't be able to hug anyone until after the ceremony, an annoyingly large amount of time away. "That's Alice for you."

"I like her," Renee said. "She's your best friend right? Where's the other one, that Jacob fellow?"

I sighed, but I was honestly amazed it had taken her this long to realize the guy I had so often written to her about hadn't been in my life the almost two weeks she had been here.

Charlie answered for me. "He may or may not be at the wedding today Renee, his father will be though. Do you remember Billy?"

I listened as they chatted, Charlie managing to distract Renee enough that she didn't question why he 'may or may not be at the wedding'. I sat back and ate a small bowl or muesli, a very small bowl might I add. I didn't want to not be able to fit into my dress because of bloating. My coffee probably gave me more energy than the bowl. I was glad I was used to eating little lately; it would be interesting giving vows while my stomach grumbled the whole while. It would amuse the sensitive of hearing guests.

I wondered how many of the wolves would show up today. I also wondered how they would get along with the Denalis.

I well; if things got heated I could always start a fire to get all the humans away. The thought actually made me smile, imagining a burning wedding cake. Maybe I had a little bit of an arsonist in me, maybe it would be funny to see Lauren and Jessica complain about the soot ruining their makeup as their eyes watered and Mike looking longingly at the wasted cake. Mike loved cake; he'd eaten a piece that had fallen on the floor once.

Feeling much lighter I headed back upstairs to change out of my sweat, tank top and hoodie.

While I was upstairs, pulling on a pair of jeans, I heard the doorbell ring and a bell-like voice call my name when Charlie answered the door. I had just enough time to pull a clean top over my head when Alice barged into the room.

"Ever heard of knocking?" I asked.

"You weren't naked or doing anything embarrassing, so I see no point to waste any more time with needless conventions."

Alice's usual spiky hair had been smoothed into short little curls around her face. Despite the softness of her hairstyle she was frowning, looking very business-like. She looked like she was about to do a take-over with a hostile company rather than makeover the bride for a wedding.

She grabbed my elbow and towed me out of the room, down the stair case and towards the door.

I turned around, feigning fright. "If I don't come back, call Edward and tell him to kill his sister."

Charlie chuckled when Alice hit me from my comment. "Will do, bud," he promised.

I rubbed my arm when she pushed me into the car. "If this bruises..." I started to threaten.

Then she interrupted, chirping happily, "I'll put foundation over it."

"Oh thanks." I crossed my arms, looking out the window as we pulled away from the drive. I didn't realize how it affected me until I had tears in my eyes. This could be the last time I saw this house, the big tree beside my window, the slightly peeling paint. It wasn't the house I would miss though; it was what was in it. What happened in that house had made my life the way it was.

"I'm sorry Bella; I didn't mean to hit you so hard." Alice misinterpreted my tears.

I choked a laugh. "You didn't hit me hard. It's just, this is probably the last time I see that house."

Alice took my hand and squeezed lightly. She couldn't console me; there was nothing she could say. She had never had to leave her human life behind, never had to say goodbye to such small things.

I tried to memorize this house, its features, and all the things that had happened inside. I would not forget it, forget anything, good or bad it had all lead me to this moment.

"Are you okay?" She asked eventually, waiting for my cue so we could leave. I nodded, sending a silent thank you to the house, and to god for letting me live in that house, giving me this life. Well, stealing it from Izzy, but she wouldn't know that.

I still hadn't talked often with Izzy, barely thought of her in fact. She was just there, never really talking, not doing very much of anything. She was quite shy, at least to me. Alice had also said she was shy, but was opening up to her. When she had told me that I had felt a stab of jealousy, but I suppose that was selfish of me. I wanted Alice as my best friend, not hers.

I wondered what Izzy would look like today. I hoped she didn't outshine me. I had always known I would have to compete with Alice and Rosalie, both more beautiful than me, but now I also had to compete with both Izzy and the Denali coven.

I wonder if I could ask Alice to seat them at the back, so people would have to look forward and at me.

God, I was so stupid and conceited. It shouldn't matter what I or anyone else looks like, as long as Edward is looking at me and not Izzy. I know I should have lost all that worry about her and Edward when he had outlined to me I was most certainly his mate and Izzy was a sister to him. It remained though.

I really didn't need to think of this on my wedding day.

I tried to distract myself, turning away from the window, from the beautiful green forest, to the pixie behind the wheel.

"What did you pack for me?"

She knew what I was referring to – what did she pack for me to wear to my honeymoon. I remembered from the book that Alice had packed lingerie and tiny bikinis and almost no clothing that covered half my body.

"I packed some long pants and the shirts you wanted. I also packed some hiking shoes and a long robe." The robe was just in case I did get a little bruised up like book-Bella.

"I love you, Alice," I said, smiling. My mind was officially taken away from the bad thoughts it had adopted previously, now focusing on the honeymoon I was so eager for. Then I had a short moment of panic, if Edward heard Alice's thoughts right now he'd know I knew where we were going. "Is he back yet?"

"No, don't worry. He's coming back just before the ceremony, just in case any of us slip when he tries to spy on his. I'll make sure he doesn't see you before you walk down the aisle. You're going to be so beautiful it'll take his breath away."

"Not prettier than you," I grumbled.

Alice laughed. The tinkling beauty of it made it impossible to be mad at her. "Bella, trust me, no one will be looking at me today."

"Then there's Rosalie," there was less force to this statement. I was finding it harder to be annoyed and worried the closer we got to her house. I was becoming excited and almost too happy. I was getting married today after all.

"Bella, I promise you that even Rosalie won't steal your limelight. You've seen the dress."

I bit my cheek, "Actually..."

"What? Bella, don't tell me you didn't look."

I smiled sheepishly.

She huffed. "Oh well, I guess you'll take your own breath away too. Just remember, you need to breathe and Edward doesn't."

"Funny," I glared. Alice laughed at me.

The narrow road that led to the Cullen's house was bordered with twinkling lights and white satin bows. All the trees along the driveway were decorated similarly, and it was amazing. I gawked out the window and Alice giggled. "Enjoy this, Bella, because you don't get to see the other decorations until the ceremony."

"What are you going to do, blindfold me?" My laughter cut short as she brought out a black strip of fabric. When she parked in the huge Cullen garage she attacked my face, securing it while I vainly tried to stop her. "This isn't fair."

"We've discussed this already Bella; I want you to have the full impact coming down the stairs."

I groaned, but didn't try to pull the blindfold off as she led me out of the car. She'd have it back on me in a second anyway. Plus I didn't have the guts to lash out at her when I couldn't see, I mightn't be as clumsy as book-Bella, but that doesn't mean I can't fall over or trip when I can't see anything.

Alice opened a door, and with it wafted a scent that was both familiar and intoxicating. It wasn't strong enough to be overpowering, but added a wonderful background. It was like I was walking through a garden. I couldn't really place it, but I remembered it from when Alice and Esme had me smell a bunch of scents. "What did you choose?" I asked.

"Freesia, roses, lilac and orange blossom," she listed.

I took another draft, it smelt so good. She smelled better though. I doubted the perfumes would cover the vampire's smell. I felt sorry for the wolves, at least an apparent wet-dog smell wasn't painful. Then again, maybe Jake had been overacting.

But the wolves all but existed to kill vampires, and vampires had been around far longer and lived in many more areas. It made sense for the wolves to evolve to be complete enemies of the vampires; painful smell would be some of those adaptations.

Yes, my mind wondered – I had nothing else to think about when one of my senses had been cut off. Well, possibly not falling, but I trusted Alice not to lead me into a pole or not telling me when there was a step.

After about a minute of clutching to Alice's little hand as she led me through the house and I was being sat down in a comfortable and large leather chair. I heard a door close behind me and then the blindfold was being taken away.

I blinked a couple of times, eyes adjusting to the harsh bright lights that lit the room. The first thing I saw was Alice grinning at me, hand behind my shoulder on the seat of the chair. Next thing I knew she was spinning the chair around, turning me to face my wide-eyed reflection before seeing the thousands of products lining the bench in front of the mirror.

This was going to be a long day.

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**Would I be the crappiest meanest author ever if I asked you guys to review?**


	5. Ceremony

**Sorry for the wait again, this chapter is longer to make up for it**

**I think I've finished almost all of my assignments and caught up on my work - so I have no real excuses. I'm just at a difficult part of writing, and afraid if I update the chapters I've written already, soon they'll catch up and I'll actually have deadlines to write in. Real life is interfering too (everytime I sit down to write something comes up) so sorry for making you wait.**

**Anyway, just so you guys know I made the wedding longer than in the books - I didn't really like the vagueness of it all.**

**Read on guys**

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4. Ceremony

I nodded in and out of sleep as Alice worked on me, surprised my body was still used to ignoring the feelings of a full out make-over. Alice was much gentler than my previous mother had been, so maybe that was why it was so easy. I just hope I wasn't snoring or drooling.

My dreams were strange and colourful, and much too fast paced for me to see. They were like the dreams you had when you fainted, not really dreams but flashes of pictures spun on reel too fast for you to see much less understand. Still they were enough that I woke with a start sometimes – or maybe that was because of her spontaneity with her waxing.

I could have sat watching the mirror as she transformed me, but that would probably only make me dizzy from her speeds as well as bore me. I was content to know the before and then only see the after. I trusted her to make me beautiful and not do something stupid like give me a perm.

My thoughts were too occupied to focus on my looks long anyway. When I was not snoozing my mind was on tonight, on tomorrow, on the next day and the next. Alice chastised me a lot when my excitement was betrayed by a twitching foot or bouncing leg.

I was so close to what I wanted, so close to having Edward in _every _way. So why was it taking so long! My legs started to bash together.

"God, Bella, do you need to pee or something?" Alice snapped.

"No," my voice wavered a little in the small reply.

"Cold feet?" she automatically assumed.

"No!" this time my voice was steady. I opened my eyes and glared at her.

She held her hands up in surrender. "Sorry, but seriously, why are you so jittery?"

I blushed.

"Oh, well that explains it." She was quiet for a moment before she laughed.

"Shut up, pixie," I mumbled, closing my eyes and leaning back into my chair with a huff.

"Ratting out Alice, can I join?" Rosalie's musical voice flowed from the doorway.

I opened my eyes, turning to the most beautiful Cullen. I really shouldn't have. Rosalie wore a flowing silver dress. I envied her curves, the way the dress made her look like some Greek goddess, Aphrodite probably. Her skin was as white as marble, and her golden locks piled in a soft crown atop her head – definitely the goddess of beauty.

I turned away, holding back my huff, finding my face studiously blank again. I was glad of my little subconscious's trick to hiding my emotions. I don't know how she would have reacted on finding me glaring at her.

"No, we are not teasing _me,_" Alice giggled. "We're teasing a certain, dirty-minded human."

I slapped Alice – lightly so I wouldn't hurt my hand, of course. That only made them both giggle.

"Anyway, I came up here to say the boys are back." Rosalie had a certain glint in her golden eyes as she announced that. She'd missed Emmett last night. I understood the feeling, I had missed Edward too.

Soon I wouldn't have to miss him any longer.

"Keep him out of here!" Alice yelled, moving in front of me as if Edward was about to step into the doorway and peek. I kind of felt the need to cover up too, but that wasn't for Edward's sake. I was sitting in my underwear, or rather some strange thin lace Alice had bought me. She said normal underwear would show through the dress. That had scared me a little, I hoped she didn't have me in something overly revealing.

If Rosalie was averse to seeing me in my lingerie, she didn't show it. "He won't cross you today," she assured Alice. "He values his life too much. Esme has them finishing things up out back. Do you want some help? I could do her hair."

Anything that brought this wedding forward was fine with me. I settled back, trying not to move too much, a perfect mannequin for their play.

"Sure, you can start the braiding. I want it intricate. The veil goes here, underneath." Alice lifting and twisted my hair, illustrating what she wanted Rosalie to do. I stayed still, closing my eyes, through the demonstration. They were both very gentle; I barely noticed when Rosalie took over. The only hint – excepting my gift – was when two other hands continued working on my face.

I felt the preparations drawing to a close with the two sets of hands, felt the ceremony approach. I found it impossible to keep my foot still. Alice didn't comment, she had stopped working on my limbs and was now on my make-up. I had to admit, my body felt gorgeously smooth and silky, hairless as her limbs.

It made me wonder again, why did the vampire women lack hair? Vampire men too it seemed, as far as I could tell. Edward's arms, legs and chest were smooth and hairless as marble. It made me wonder if _all _his hair on places other than his head had been lost in the transformation. I didn't blush at the thought though. I didn't want the two others in the room to think my mind was always in the gutter.

I began to hear more noises downstairs, and – impossibly – became more anxious. I found it hard to not bounce in my sheet, especially when Rosalie's hands left my hair and went to retrieve my dress after receiving Alice's commendations.

"Bella, calm down, I don't want to poke your eye." Alice was doing my eyeliner.

I smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, I guess I'm just excited."

"There's nothing wrong with that. You're getting married Bella, you should be excited. Just don't get so excited you'll be blinded when I try to do your mascara. Then all this making sure you won't see will be for nothing. You don't want to be married with a pink eye do you?"

"No," I made more of an effort to stay still after that, only letting my right leg bounce.

Then Rosalie was back with the dress, and Alice was finishing up on my cheekbones. My heart rate rose when I saw the silky, white satin draped over her arms. She carried it carefully, like it was fragile. I started worrying about breaking the dress, stepping on the sides or splitting it when I tried to force it over my massive-ass ribs.

Rosalie passed it to Alice like it was a child, cradling it and making sure the pixie was holding it before backing away. She left the room then, which I was semi glad for. I didn't really want to stand in front of her, not in this underwear. Sitting kind of offered a little cover.

"Bella, can you stand up?"

I nodded quickly, obeying silently. How much did this dress cost? I started feeling a little hot – strange for being all but naked in Forks.

"What if I rip it?" I whispered as she moved the dress to me.

Alice sighed, shaking her head and smiling at me. "Don't be silly Bella; this dress was made for you. It'll fit like a glove."

That wasn't reassuring, but I took a deep breath, pulled my waist in as far as it could go, and stepped into the dress. Alice eased it up around me, pulling it over my shoulders and securing the strings at the back.

"Bella, you can breathe you know. I don't think Edward would appreciate it if I let his bride suffocate herself."

I took a careful breath, calming down when there seemed to be no puling or tearing sound. I dared a look down, placing a hand over my silk covered stomach. It was flat and hugged my waist while not being tight or restrictive. I took another breath, pushing my stomach out a little, still having no resistance.

"Well, are you at least going to take a look at my work?" Alice asked.

"Yeah, okay," I whispered, nodding, turning and walking over to the full length mirror in her wardrobe. Alice jumped in front of me, placing a hand on my shoulder to stop me.

"I know you wanted to go barefoot, because you didn't want to be taller than Edward, but I promise you that you won't be taller with these on." Alice shook her arm, the heels in her little hand swaying. "Plus they'll make you look so much better," she whined, shaking her hand again.

I was looking at the shoes, marvelling at them. They were gorgeous, if short, but that added to their appeal. They must have been about three inches, white peep toes with the fabric bunched over the toe under a little white rose made of some fabric with a high sheen. They glowed, and before I knew what I was doing I nodded and Alice was lifting the train and skirt to grab my foot and force them on.

I realized then that Alice had probably known I would surrender, as the skirt didn't drag along the ground as much with the heels on.

"Much better," she grinned.

I rolled my eyes, walking to the mirror – glad I was experienced enough with heels that I wouldn't step on the skirt or trip and rip the beautiful dress.

Alice followed my walk, bringing her little fists over her gigantic smile. What did she expect my reaction to be?

Of course I hadn't expected that she had been holding out on me with her make-over skills until I stepped in front of the mirror. I had to gasp then.

My eyes seemed massive, eyelashes stretched longer than I thought possible, and something seemed to make my eyes look even bluer, though I couldn't tell you what as my eyes were occupied elsewhere.

Alice had managed to highlight my cheekbones without making them look overly sharp and manly. My eyebrows were perfectly sculpted. My lips looked full and plump, a light pink to contrast my dark eyes. My whole face seemed to glow, olive-skin looking flawless.

My hair was braided and curled and wrapped around itself that looked both impossibly intricate and enchantingly beautiful, and that was only what I could see by turning onto my side. Every so often there was a little white flower pinned in a crevice, I couldn't tell what type from this angle.

Then of course there was the dress. I thought it was impossible, but somehow this dress made me look curvy, disguising my massive ribs and hugging tight to my slim waist. Then it slowly loosened as it draped around my hips, until it fell like a waterfall from mid thigh. The bust wasn't revealing, only showing a hint of cleavage as the rose to narrow sleeves over my shoulders. A subtle pattern was stitched along the base of the bust, creeping upwards like a vine. The floral pattern also spiralled along the base and train.

I turned to admire the back, the back laced together with a mass of thin strings. It reminded me very vaguely of shoelaces or a corset. Under this the barely noticeable band at the front unattached, becoming two long strips of gauzy patterned fabric that all but merged into the train, blending into the folds of the white patterned silk.

I think I almost cried a little bit, not because I was so overwhelmed of my beauty – honestly I still think Alice looked better and she hadn't even changed into her dress nor done her makeup. I cried because of how hard Alice worked, knowing how much I wanted to look and feel special, how she had organised this whole wedding for me.

I would have tackled her with my hug, but being too scared of ruining the dress I settled with carefully wrapping my arms around her and lifting her up off the ground. As hard as she was she was still insanely light, and in my heels I kind of had to pick her up to hug her properly.

Alice was laughing, giggling, both trough my reaction to my makeover and my hug.

"I love you Alice, thank you so much for everything today."

"Oh Bella, the day hasn't even begun!"

I let out a hysterical giggle – both elated and nervous at that fact.

"Now, do you think you can survive for a few minutes while I go get ready? Like maybe don't sit down or spill anything."

"Not helping but yeah, I think I can manage."

Alice was back in a few minutes. I spent the time in front of the mirror, watching the delicate looking dress twirl as I moved, very glad of the heels. Barefoot the skirt would be long enough to accidently step on. I wasn't clumsy, but I know I would have done it, and either tripped in my haste to not hurt the dress, or torn it.

Alice's return was silent, but I saw her watching me through the mirror. I turned and gawked at her, having the sudden urge to smudge her makeup. God, why did she have to be so beautiful? The dress she wore was strapless, fitted around the bust, and fell from her tiny waist like a silvery waterfall, reaching to mid thigh. It was covered in little beads, and shimmered as she walked. It was almost like Tinkerbelle's dress if it had been made of silver not leaves.

Her makeup was gorgeous, her golden brown eyes framed with thick dark lashes, the lids changing from brown at the edge to pink and then gold. Her cheeks were darkened with a subtle rose and her lips were perfectly lined, light pink but darkening along her lip-line.

Alice looked very much like a beautiful little fairy. With her tiny build, perfect face, colourful eyes, and pixie-like dress.

As much as she always claimed she hated people calling her a pixie, she didn't seem to mind exploiting the fact and dressing like one.

"Alice, wow," I gasped out, trying to think of a way to ask her to not stand anywhere near me without sounding rude. I was very petty. I knew I should just get over it – there was no way I'd ever be more beautiful than her.

"It's nothing. No one will be looking at me today. Not with you in the room."

"Yeah right," I grumbled.

Alice glared at me. "Are you dissing my work?" I shook my head quickly at her outraged tone; she might curse me with her fairy dust or something. "Renee's here by the way. She's coming up."

"So stop being vain and immature and get yourself together?"

"No, I mean stop focusing on the tiny little negatives and think about the massive positives. You're getting married today! It'll probably be the happiest day of your human life."

"Yet," I corrected her, grinning.

Alice grinned back, wiggling her eyebrows.

Then my mother was flying into the room. She was like a whirlwind of Renee, about to tackle me into a hug before pulling back, all the time her mouth was moving too fast for her brain. I could barely understand any words that came from her mouth. "Bella... beautiful... Alice...dress...tear...sorry...daughter...CHARLIE!"

My father also distinguished his name from the babble, probably because it was said five times louder than the previous words. "I'm coming," he called gruffly. I could hear him ambling up the stairs now my mother had stopped talking.

"Hurry up you slow poke," Renee called down, voice slowly to an intelligible speed.

"Hey, it's not my fault I can't run in these dress shoes. I should've just worn my work boots."

"No you would NOT!" Tiny little Alice managed to scare Charlie. He probably new she would've tackled him and forced the shiny, pointy shoes he was currently wearing on his feet.

"If it's any comfort, Dad, I think you look dashing." Renee nodded in agreement. He did look pretty good in his black suit. It fit him well, made him look sharp and proper. The only thing that ruined it was his face; he looked very uncomfortable and was blushing at my compliment. I thought Tiffany would like it anyway, which would be good. I was leaving him tonight; he needed Tiffany Call to dote on him enough for him to forget the loss of his daughter.

The thought made tears prickle my eyes; I was losing them both today.

"I know I look hot, Bella, but you don't need to cry about it." I was going to miss my Dad's jokes. I only held back my tears from Alice's glare. I was sure she had used waterproof makeup, but like she had said earlier, she didn't want my eyes bloodshot.

"What about me?" Renee faked offence. "You could cry at my beauty, Bella."

I hadn't noticed what Renee was wearing yet - I didn't often categorize people by their clothes – especially not human version's of tornados.

Renee did look beautiful. Her skin was just a shade darker than mine – all the sun in Jacksonville – and knew that royal purple looked good over the tone as much as I did. The dress was figure hugging, but Renee led a very active life and was thin. It was v-necked and semicircles of gauzy purple fabric in rows of two overlapped all down the front. Her eyes were lined in black and brimmed with black ever-so-slightly clumped lashes. She had bronze blush on her cheeks and her lips were covered in clear gloss.

"Aw Mum, you look gorgeous."

"Nowhere near as much as you, honey, you're stunning. That dress, it's so graceful, so elegant, and so...modest. Not to be rude, but I always imagined you'd be a strapless kind of girl, got to show off those b-" she was cut off by Charlie's groan. He was covering his ears, blushing. Renee giggled before continuing. "It suits you though, shows that little soft-side you keep bottled up all the time."

She shook her head at me as I averted my eyes, bringing a hand out – hesitantly and glancing at Alice – before cupping my cheek. She had to reach up to do it; I was probably Edward's height right now.

Renee seemed about to say more, before Charlie coughed, bringing out a small white box from his pocket.

"Oh, I almost forgot." She slapped a hand to her forehead, wheeling around to all-but run to Charlie. She stumbled a little, her purple, silver lined pumps making her slightly clumsy. Heels just weren't made for Renee's scatter-brained walking; she walked sideways, backwards and spun just as often as she walked straight. Her walk showed her nature, it was charming for her.

Charlie handed her the box. He looked awkward in the room, studiously not touching anything, like he was worried he'd break anything he came into contact with.

Renee wheeled back, almost tripping before Alice caught her. "Thanks," she whispered. Alice nodded and stepped back, content to watch silently for now. She probably already knew what was in the box, anyway.

"Something blue," she said, holding the open box up to me.

"Something old too, they were Grandma Swan's," Charlie added, smiling widely, eyes slightly glassy as he looked at the jewellery. "We replaced the diamonds with sapphires."

The pieces were gorgeous – very small and intricate. Silver had been worked into flowers above the teeth of the hair combs, and a sizeable sapphire sat in the middle.

"Dad, Mom, you shouldn't have..." I couldn't help but think how gorgeous and old it looked, a family heirloom.

"Alice wouldn't let us do anything else! Every time we tried she all but bit our heads off."

I grinned at the pixie in question. She shrugged, taking the hair combs and sliding into my braid. "It had to be small enough to fit. We couldn't have her carrying it." I rolled my eyes. She pursed her lips, "So that's something blue, old, and your dress is new, so here..."

She flicked something at me, and a white piece of filmy fabric landed in my hands. The garter was very lacy and stretchy, and I began childishly stretching it. I'd do the same if it were a rubber band.

"Hey, that's mine and I want it back, so stop trying to break it!"

I grinned, and saw Charlie turn around at the edge of the room.

"There, a little colour is all you needed. You're perfect," she smiled smugly, congratulating herself, before turning to my mother. "Renee, you need to get downstairs."

"Yes, ma'am," Renee looked like she was about to salute, but decided against it. She brought her militarily straight hand to her face, but softened it to blow me a kiss before running out of the door.

I turned back to Alice, who was raising an eyebrow. "You're mother is childish," she whispered to me. I giggled. "Charlie, would you grab the flowers please?"

While my father was out of the room Alice grabbed the garter from my hold, crouched, fisted the train of my dress and threw it up with a lot less care than I would have. Then she ducked under it, and my leg was being lifted up and cold hand touched my thigh.

She was out and standing normally by the time Charlie was back a second later. He held two frothy white bouquets, holding one out to me and one to the little pixie by my side. I took the flowers, holding them to me and taking a deep inhale. They smelt so good, roses and orange blossom.

Then Rosalie started playing piano downstairs. I listened with closed eyes, everything had started feeling surreal. The smells, the sounds, the girl in the mirror that was too beautiful to be human, it just couldn't be real. It was an amazing dream.

"Bells," Charlie nudged me. I opened my eyes, sighing softly. Charlie was looking up at me – I was a couple of inches taller than him at the moment – with worry in his eyes. "Did you sleep well last night?"

"Huh?"

"It's just you look like you're about to fall asleep."

Then I felt a sharp pang in my arm, and I yelped. A little pixie was glaring up at me, her fingers still in the position to pinch me again. "You are not sleepy, okay?"

"Okay, fine," I said quickly, wishing I didn't hold the bouquet and I could rub the sore spot.

Then the music changed, merged into a new song. Charlie took my arm. I looped it around his, my hand resting just passed his elbow. "Bells, we're up to bat."

Alice looked back at me as she moved to the staircase. We followed silently. The music was louder in the hall; it floated up the staircase along with the scent of a million flowers. I took another breath, trying to peer down the stairs to see the decoration Alice so studiously hid from me.

The music, Wagner's traditional march, was both familiar and different, Rosalie adding her own embellishments, transforming it into an intricate and stupendous piece. If I hadn't heard Edward play before, I wouldn't think there was a better pianist. Not many anyway, I hadn't listened to that much classical music. When Edward tried to teach me the appeal of that music my attention had been ... occupied.

"It's my turn," Alice turned, beaming. She looked gorgeous. "Count to five and follow me." Then she turned away, beginning a slow, graceful march down the stairs. She looked like she was floating; she looked like she was dancing. Couldn't she just walk normally for once? I'll look like a stumbling klutz next to that.

A sudden fanfare trilled through the soaring music; my cue.

"C'mon, Dad, don't fall in your shoes."

Charlie grinned as we stepped forward, down the stairs, to the tempo of the music. "That was just an excuse for your mother."

I smiled too.

We descended, and I heard the crowd's deafening silence as they spotted us. I wanted to duck, to bend, to see the hall, but I stood straight and tall. I didn't need to wait long, and I didn't really want to be seen first as a hunchback - first impressions and all that.

I had a few more steps to go when the hall came into view, and the beauty of it made me falter. Charlie kept marching though, and I just barely kept my step in beat. I ignored the murmurs and rustles from the crowd as I came into their view. My eyes were looking higher.

The hall was dripping in flowers, ribbons and crystals. Long stings of flowers hung from the roof, crystals glinting at their ends, shining rainbows across the room. Little leaves of dark green broke the white, almost like the flowers had decided to grow in draping vines from the rooves, along the walls, snaking up and around the legs of the deep mahogany benches. Floral arrangements were also hung from the back of the benches, or as far as I could tell as most were obscured by the crowd.

The whole town seemed to be here, and they all watched me, every face trained on the approaching bride. Most smiled warmly, some widely, some – mostly ladies – seemed unable to decide whether to smile and watch or turn to their friends and whisper.

I couldn't decide what they whispered about, or much else in the room anymore, because my eyes had skimmed over what was ahead of me, before flicking back and zeroing onto alter, onto the perfection standing under an arch that put the rest of the room to shame, full of flowers, crystals, ribbons, and seemed to glow with its own light.

The shining arch lit him from behind. He looked like an angel, a god, almost heartbreakingly handsome. Why I was worried what Rosalie or any other of the girl's looked was beyond me now, next to him I'd look plain at best.

But I couldn't care less, couldn't care if I looked like a homeless hunch-back of Notre Dame next to him, because I was suddenly filled with the knowledge that in a few moment he would be mine, and I would be his. We'd be a whole rather than two people, married rather than boyfriend and girlfriend.

I think Edward was thinking along the same lines, because his buttery, light golden eyes were trained on me. The love in his eyes was almost impossible to comprehend, so large it threatened to engulf me where I stood. I wanted to be engulfed; I wanted to run to him. I wanted to be his, to be owned by him, to be his wife.

I understood now why he so wanted marriage, so wanted this union. It wasn't just a piece of paper, it was formation, psychological concrete, it was assurance and fortification, it was union. It wasn't that I loved him any less now, and would love him more in an hour, it was just another rope, another welded edge, another link, that tied me to him.

Trying to keep my feet in time with the music was hard, I so wanted to stretch my stride, reach him faster. Charlie kept pace well though; I'd have to haul him to walk any faster.

I didn't have to wait too long though. Even though the aisle had felt like a mile when I was on it, it was actually only metres, and soon I was at the altar. Edward was even more amazing close up, his usual messy hair tamed but not slicked back or trapped, his lean frame more angular in his neat, classic, olden style tux. He held out his hand, and took mine, placing it in Edward's icy cold, familiar, and comforting grasp. My small hand fit perfectly in his. I gave his fingers a gentle squeeze. His marble smooth fingers returned the motion, his smile so warm and loving and only for me.

We didn't take our eyes off each other for the whole ceremony. For once I didn't care if everyone could see right through me, if my defences were down and crumpled, if each member of the audience could see what I was thinking through my face. My love for Edward was not a weakness, it was a strength, and I didn't hide my strengths.

Edward hid nothing either. His golden eyes shined triumphantly, underlined with that same tsunami of love I was already swept away in. He smiled widely, and with each repeating of our simple, traditional vows he leaned slightly closer.

I felt the same, the distance was too far to me, and with each vow I angled closer, until at 'as long as we both shall live' I was almost touching him.

I didn't realize I was crying until it was time for me to say the binding words.

"I do," I said strongly despite the tears.

Edward's voice was even stronger when it was his turn, louder, more like announcing a victory. "I do," he vowed.

I could barely look down when we had to exchange the rings, the tears blocking my vision at the changed angle. My tears dropped onto our hands.

Then Mr Weber declared us husband and wife, and neither of us could wait any longer. I threw my arms around his head, bouquet and all, and Edward moved one hand to cup my cheek, the other placed between my shoulder blades.

I tried to express as much love in that kiss as possible, in that few seconds it was acceptable to kiss for. The cool hand at my face made my skin tingle; his lips were soft as mine melded around his stone hard ones. I pulled back first, in response to a deep cough echoing over the applause that stabbed in my heart. It was a familiar, husky cough, though I rarely heard it as he never got sick.

I ignored those thoughts though, instead resting my forehead on Edward's. "I love you," I whispered.

"I love you too, Mrs Cullen," Edward smirked at the name, success still in his buttery eyes.

"I think we know each other well enough to forgo formalities, call me Bella," I giggled.

Edward chuckled, "Okay, Bella Cullen." I got the impression he really liked saying that, and that I may be called by my full name for the rest of the day. Truthfully, I didn't mind, I kind of liked it. Now I was part of the family, as officially as it could get until I was changed.

Then I was being buffeted by a sea of people, each wanting to hug and congratulate me. Renee reached me first, hugging me tight, now disregarding the dress. She was still crying, while my eyes had dried. I was entirely too happy to cry now, even cry tears of joy. Anyway, I didn't want to annoy Alice and ruin my make-up.

God knows what the pixie would do if _that _happened.

I held on to Edward's hands as it seemed I was passed around the crowd, being embraced by so many people that always said something to me I couldn't hear over everyone else. I just smiled and nodded, tried to keep my eyes locked on Edward's as much as possible. To my credit, I wasn't the only one ignoring the crowd. After Esme and Carlisle his attention was mostly to his left, not on whose hands he shook or who congratulated him.

I found even more happiness in the fact his golden gaze was all but reserved for me. My smile was so wide I really think I was a human version of a Cheshire Cat.

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**Now guys, I don't want to sound mean and demanding, but I really love reviews and wish you guys would review for me. I cherish and love each and every one.**

**I'll try and get onto a better updating schedule - but almost every time I want to update it's like 1 am in USA, so I wait until a better time for you guys. Would you prefer it if I just updated whenever?**

**Review guys - has anyone made any graphics for the series?**


	6. Reception

**I felt like updating, so I am. Thanks for all the reviews guys, they're awesome.**

**I had a question last chapter, and I realized I mightn't have made it clear, so I'll tell you all now. Jacob was there for all the ceremony, he hasn't gone all wolf and run off for however long it was in Breaking Dawn. He's just been hanging out in La Push for... I think about 2 weeks. This story has a different timeline to Breaking Dawn, Bella/Alexis couldn't wait to get married so she sped everything along. She did already deal with the newborns in her school rather than after graduation like in Eclipse, so she had less to wait for.**

**Okay, sorry for the long A/N. You guys know youu can always ask me any question about the story - me answering only depends on whether I want to keep it a secret for suspense.**

**Okay guys, Read on!**

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5. Reception

I had, as unfocused as I was during the all but molesting the crowd had done with their insistent touching, noticed a few missing embraces. The hugs became annoying after a few minutes. I mean, does no one shake hands anymore? I swear my cheek was covered in lip stick stains, and my dress had little balls of fluff on it that certainly did not come from its satin fabric.

Yet I worried about those hugs I missed. I had received enough cool hugs to know the Cullens had embraced me, but not enough to guess the Denalis had joined the hug-fest. I also noticed the distinct lack of hot hugs. I knew one had come, the one I wanted to come most, but I still wished the rest of the pack had come. My Cheshire cat smile diminished to a normal one.

After all, I didn't necessarily know if they weren't here, and even if they definitely weren't I was still happy enough that I'd probably cure someone's depression if I were to touch them. Well, maybe not, but you get the picture.

So I persevered through the last of the hugs, honestly I'd ceased knowing the people other than by name at this point. It was a small enough town to know them, but not know them that well.

Then it was over, and Edward pulled me to his side immediately. I wrapped my arm around his waist, resting my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry about that, Bella."

"It's fine, comes with the dress," I grinned wider, resuming cheek-straining status, picking up some of my skirt and twirling it a little. There was little that could make me happier right now – someone making a way for the change to be painless, a way to appear human and meet Charlie every so often when I was a vampire, an imprint for Jacob.

My smile dropped completely, then, and Edward frowned. "What is it?" he asked, concern covering his previously ecstatic expression.

"Is he okay," I whispered, he didn't need to know who I was referring to.

Edward nodded stiffly, obviously not liking that I was thinking of his rival on the day I wedded him. "He's been better," Edward answered gruffly.

I frowned up at him, pulling myself to him tighter, because there was no way I could pull him closer to me. He was a statue, a currently brooding statue. I leaned over to kiss his cheek; glad for the heels that all-but equalled our heights. "I chose you, Edward. I just care about him. Did this bring him some kind of ... I don't know, closure?"

"You could put it that way."

I didn't like his voice, or his angry gaze that looked out of the hall, where all the guests had moved to the reception. Jacob wasn't visible even to vampire eyes, the wall blocked our vision, but I would bet Edward was looking straight in his direction – seeing where his thoughts echoed from.

Since we were alone – even the milling crowd had left by now – I wrapped my arms around his neck, stretching the tiniest amount to meet his lips. I leaned my forehead against his, leaving my lips millimetres from his. I took a deep breath, I still loved his scent every bit as the first time I smelled it. It was like a drug; I only grew more addicted to the longer I took it.

"I love you," I whispered, my lips just touching his as I said the words.

His concern, annoyance, and frustration melted away, his golden eyes becoming soft again. I almost giggled at how much they did look like butter. I loved butter, even though I pretty much banned it from my mouth since my previous mother had decided I was old enough to diet.

I forced that unpleasantness from my head, easy enough when I was swimming in Edward. This time I did kiss him, slowly and sweetly. His hands moved to stroke the sides of my satin-clad waist, cool but tingling at his touch. I stroked his hair, and couldn't restrain the urge to mess it up.

"Hey," Edward said, pulling back as I giggled.

"You look better with it messy, sexier."

He chuckled, shaking his head in bemusement. "Come on, Bella. We better get you to the reception before Alice accuses me of stealing you from the crowd."

"You can steal me whenever you want."

"Not when there's an angry pixie ready to drag you away from me. I want you at my side for as long as possible today. Not all of the male population's thoughts were appropriate for a married woman."

I giggled again, taking his hand and leading him outside. "Oh really, anything I'd find amusing?"

He swallowed, frowning, despite his smile. "No," he answered. Maybe it wasn't as humorous to him as it was to me. Then again, if he told me any of the female population of the wedding's thoughts about him, well, I don't think I'd be amused either.

"C'mon, nothing funny at all?" he broke at my pleading.

"Well, Tyler was under the impression if he burst onto the altar and ripped his shirt off you'd immediately fling yourself on him upon seeing his 'drool worthy abs'."

I laughed, folding in on myself as far as I could before the dress's fabric started protesting. Edward chuckled, assured by my reaction. I wiped a tear from my eye, straightening.

I gasped at what I saw.

Alice really had outdone herself. I think it was even more outrageously gorgeous out here than inside. The river rushed clear and gorgeous to one side, a soothing background tone to the beautiful setting. The reception area looked like it had grown there.

Flowers like those in the hall covered the trees, strings of them hanging down from the branches, white ribbons spiralled up the trunks, the flowers attached to their gossamer fabric. There was a clearing in the middle, where a large circle of wood had been laid down to serve as a dance floor. At one end of the floor Alice had set up a little stand, it rose from the grassy ground, developed ferns disguising the base. With the flowers rising along the walls, and the tiny leafless tree that held the microphone it really looked like the forest had just decided to grow like it did. Some of the moss that grew on every immobile surface in Forks had started growing on the stage.

On every other side of the dance floor – apart from the direction in which we stood – was surrounded by small, gorgeously decorated tables. From this distance all I could tell was it was the same shade of wood as the dance floor, and along with beautiful silver cutlery that glinted in the cloud-muted sunlight, was adorned with a shining, faceted glass vase holding more white flowers.

"There you are!" I looked down to find a widely grinning pixie at my arm. She looked like she belonged here; it was so ethereal, so beautiful.

I think she found my expression funny. I realized my mouth was hanging open, so I quickly snapped it shut. "Alice, you've outdone yourself."

"Nonsense, it was fun. Even Emmett and Jasper had fun, but they won't tell you that."

Edward chuckled, nodding at her statement.

I noticed now that people were getting drinks, holding champagne flutes or beers or soft drink cans (those under twenty-one). I licked my lips, realizing how dry my throat felt. I hadn't had a drink since this morning, hours ago. I was also a little hungry, my stomach growled.

"There's punch on the table over there, and drinks." Alice pointed across from us, to a long bench behind the tables. I grinned at her, tugging on Edward's arm and walking over to it.

I walked slowly, letting myself marvel at the beautiful floral arrangements on the table, the lotus-flower folded napkins, and the way the legs of the tables and chairs ended in roots. The lacy table cloths looked like they were made of spider webs, vines spiralled up the chair legs.

The drinks table was long, covered in wine bottles in ice buckets, the soft drinks and beers lined up in their separate sections. Perspiration, despite the brisk weather, made water droplets on their sides. There was a massive area for the clean glasses, and two punch bowls the size of my arms if I made a ring with them. One punch was orange, the other pink, and both had slices of fruit and ice floating along their surface.

I took a glass, careful not to knock any of the others, and filled it with the pink, taking a grateful sip.

"C'mon Bella, I want you to meet some people." I hadn't realized Alice had followed me until she was tugging on my arm again.

"I don't see how it's possible for someone so small to be so annoying," Edward muttered. I giggled. Alice turned, poked her tongue out at us both, before grinning and tugging harder.

"There's an old friend that has been _dying _to see you!"

I guessed who she was referring to when I saw a group of six, entirely too beautiful beings standing with untouched drinks, talking amongst themselves. They stopped talking when they saw our approach, and I was firstly happy to see that all six gazes held golden eyes.

Then my mood fell.

One of the females, Tanya by her gorgeously shining strawberry blonde locks, flitted graciously to Edward. She was gorgeous, though thankfully no Rosalie. I felt some irrational satisfaction when, as she moved closer, that I towered over her.

She jumped at Edward, and I had to relinquish my hold on his hand. Edward didn't move fast enough to catch her, and she fell back to the ground with a little thud, pouting at Edward as he moved to awkwardly pat her back. "I've missed you," she trilled, her voice as musical as any vampires. She still held onto Edward.

I had to avert my eyes; I'd already started assessing her body with my gift. I could make her drop her arms from my husband. I mentally grinned, I now had a strong enough claim to demand she let go if I wished.

But I couldn't fault her for liking Edward. Hadn't I fallen just the same way? He was entirely too perfect, and it warmed me through to know he was mine now.

Still, her embrace was uncomfortably tight, so I took the time to evaluate the rest of her coven members. I could tell the difference between Kate and Irina, though I knew nothing of their distinguishing features. One was very short, and that one was clinging to the side of the familiar figure who grinned widely at me. The other had corn silk straight golden hair, framing her beautiful face. I was immediately wary of Kate, knowing her power.

The other two stood back, smiling gently at me, both were black haired and had an olive tint to their pale complexions. I wondered if that was what my skin would look like after the change.

"Bella," Laurent's deep, almost cello-like voice hummed. "It's good to see you."

I smiled, bringing my hand to tap my bottom eyelid. "It's great to see you too, liking the eyes."

"What can I say, you converted me. I guess a little ..." his eyes flickered over my head and he swallowed, "... encouragement was all I needed."

I wanted to turn, guessing whose eyes he locked on. I wanted to see the wolf-pack, I wanted to see Jacob. I hadn't seen him in so long.

But I had another task at hand. "You're control's good, I don't see anyone here with bite marks." I grinned; the Denalis seemed a little taken aback by my complete comfort at talking of such things. I quickly kept talking. "Still, I think it'd be safer if I made it easier for you. May I?" I asked, lifting my hand and gesturing to his throat.

His eyes brightened, and he nodded a touch too quickly. I stepped forward, placing my hand at the base of his cool throat and absorbing his thirst. Yes, it was probably unnecessary to be holding his throat now, but it made the transition of the thirst from his body to mine faster. I swallowed as I felt the burn in my throat.

"Remarkable," Tanya gasped, having released Edward to watch my exchange. Edward was smiling proudly, and pulled me to his side when my gaze met his.

I snuggled into his side, smiling a little shyly as the whole clan's eyes trained on me. It was a touch disconcerting, all these unknown vampires staring at me, still and unblinking.

"Thank you, Bella," Laurent gulped, unconsciously rubbing his throat.

"You're welcome." I took a sip of my drink.

"I think we have surpassed formalities, but anyway this is my Bella." I liked how he used my. "Bella, these are the Denalis, Tanya, Kate, Irina, Carmen, and Eleazar. I don't need to equate you with Laurent," Edward's voice was a touch stiff at this last sentence, his smile forced. I'm sure he wasn't entirely too happy with the fact that the vampire had tried to kill me in his absence, it was sheer luck and instinct that had stopped him.

"It's nice to meet you."

"Welcome to the family, Bella." Tanya stepped forward, taking my hand in her cool grasp. "We consider ourselves Carlisle's extended family; consider us cousins if you will."

"I will," I promised. _Cousins don't date cousins_, I thought.

"It seems the Cullens are all evened up now." Tanya turned half around, grinning behind her. "Perhaps it will be our time next, eh, Kate?"

"Keep the dream alive," she did a little unenthusiastic fist raise. Then she stepped forward, taking my hand. I tried not to shiver, wondering if her gift would break my strange mental-defence. As far as I could tell it had nothing to do with my gift, I really was quite confused to the source of that immunity.

Carmen stepped forward too, putting her hand over her coven mate's. "I'm Carmen, this is Eleazar. We're all so very pleased to meet you."

"Yes, all so pleased, but it seems we're keeping you to ourselves. We'll get to know each other later. We have _eons _of time for that."

I felt tension from someone behind me at the words. I turned, seeing his black eyes burning into mine. I moved towards him, but Edward pulled me back. "He needs a second to cool off," he whispered in my ear. I watched as Jacob stalked away, and as Sam followed him.

It seemed the wolf pack did come. They were watching me, eyes flicking to the vampires behind me warily. Paul looked – was, my gift told me – tense, despite the russet skinned beauty hanging at his elbow. Truthfully, though, Rachel looked even angrier than her volatile werewolf usually did. She glared at me, head whipping once to watch her brother's retreating back, and then resuming the glaring.

"You can go see them, I think it might be better if I stay here," Edward said, pushing my lightly in the direction of the pack.

I walked slowly to them, noticing how everyone seemed to give them a wide berth. I could understand. They stood tall and broad in their tuxes, looking slightly like a gang, or the mafia, if the mafia were Native Americans and had forgone the rings and hats. They didn't need the guns anyway.

I was slightly amused as I approached them further. The scared looks and whispers of some my classmates, the open flirting gazes of some of the female half of the braver, was hilarious. Then there was the fact that most had undersized tuxes on, looking very uncomfortable in shirts and ties, most having forgone the dress shoes for sneakers. A few didn't even have suit jackets, though they certainly didn't need them. It was a warm day for Forks, I wasn't freezing in my satin dress, but the wolves wouldn't be cold if it were snowing.

"Bells," Seth didn't wait for me to reach them. He probably would've come and seen me with the vampires if it weren't for the protectiveness of the rest of the pack. I didn't need to see him being held back, just the smug grin he shot over my shoulder. He looked very much like he was about to stick his tongue out.

"Hey Seth," I returned before he pulled me into a tight hug, disregarding the dress. I was okay as long as I heard no tears. He'd grown again, equally my height in my heels.

"Congratulations," he said to me and to Edward, who was hanging back. Seth gave him a warm smile. Seth was the only one of the pack to like the Cullens, strange as he had so little contact – less than in the books. He was just that kind of a person; he saw the good in everyone and was insanely kind.

I heard some uneven footsteps behind me, and turned to the source of those steps. Billy, Harry, and Sue, all wearing formal clothing that differed so much from their usual apparel.

Billy Black was making an amazing recovery. He'd been to the hospital – though he still didn't let Carlisle touch him – and the doctor's had been astounded. His change was miraculous, they couldn't explain it. All they could tell him was that his recoveries seemed all in order, and not to push himself too hard.

His walk still wasn't steady, his balance a little awkward, but he stood straight in his tux, his skinny legs hidden behind the ironed fabric of his pants. I didn't need to see them to know his muscle was building. I hadn't seen him in a while, and took the liberty of quickly assessing the muscles, checking everything was fine for myself. I couldn't trust the doctors as much as I would trust Carlisle, human doctors could make a mistake.

Then again, Carlisle probably could too, but rarely.

It was only then I saw Billy's expression. His smile was slightly forced, he was tense, and his body faced away from me. His eyes flicked once to his side, as if he wished he could look behind him. He was watching for his son.

I kept my smile, because while Jacob was a big part of my life, he could only dampen my ecstatic mood a little. Maybe it was better that way; my painfully wide smile might freak some people out.

"Hey Billy," I said, and then turned my head, "Harry, Sue."

"You look beautiful, Bella," Sue smiled, but I could feel she was tense too. She didn't like how close her son was to the group of vampires at my back. Not ten metres separated them, and certainly no treaty line. I wish they would realize the Cullens weren't dangerous, and as far as I could tell neither were the Denalis. I could sense their thirst from behind me, but they paid no notice to it, still huddled in their little group at the edge of the trees.

"Yeah, who'd have thought Charlie would've made something so pretty? You must be mostly your mother then." Harry grinned. I giggled a little too, used to his jibes at Charlie.

"Speaking of Charlie, where is he?" I asked.

"He's hiding somewhere. He doesn't want people to see his red eyes. Who knows what the people of Forks will do if they see their Chief has a soft side?" Billy lost a little of his tension when he talked of his long-time friend. The humour kept his mind off things.

"Thanks for coming, all of you," I turned, looking to where I could feel Jacob. I couldn't see him, but I recognized his body with my gift. "It... it means a lot to me., to have you all here," _for one last time. _I didn't need to voice it. They all knew that soon I would be changed, that this may be the last time I see any of them.

"You're welcome," Billy rumbled, stepping forward to pull me into a hug. He didn't have his son's height, but it always surprised me how tall he actually was. I was so used to seeing him in a wheelchair, that when he stood to all his 6'3 height I was surprised. He was an inch taller than me now. "Thank you... for everything," he whispered in my ear.

I gave him a squeeze, and whispered back in his ear, "And I'm sorry... for everything."

Billy stepped back, nodding sadly. "I hope you have a good ... life," he coughed, turning. I followed his eyes, seeing that his son had emerged from the forest, was watching me with Sam at his side. The alpha of the pack's dark eyes watched me, a restraining hand on his beta's shoulder.

My smile fell from the look on his face.

"You should go see him," Billy said quietly. "Say goodbye, he needs... closure."

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. Jake wasn't the only one.

A stupid part of my mind was sure I'd still see Jake after the transformation. A very stupid part, I had nothing to hold him to me any longer. There was no Renesmee in my future.

"Good bye Billy, Harry, Sue."

"Good bye Bella," they echoed, sounding forlorn. I guess I'll soon be dead to them, worse than dead. In their own way they were grieving.

There must have been some threshold I crossed, some set distance from the vampires, because after I took a few steps they all approached me, all wearing smiles (though most appeared forced).

"Hey Bella," Quil was the first to approach me, pulling me into a hug. I felt a touch of sadness, of déjà vu. I used to be friends with Quil – with Embry too – good friends. I think I'd lost that when I stopped going to La Push. "You clean up nice, who'd have thought?"

I slapped his arm lightly, but was still grinning. "I was thinking the exact same about you!"

Quil released me, holding the edges of his jacket (being one of the only ones who'd found a suit jacket) and turned, smirking. "I know. I'm hot in this suit."

Jared scoffed. "You're hot anywhere, Quil, doesn't mean you look good."

Quil glared at him, "I look better than you. Suits aren't supposed to show off socks."

Jared pants weren't long enough for him, and you could see a hint of his shin above his black sock. "It's not my fault I'm not a midget. Look at you, Bella's taller than you."

I grinned, in my heels I was. Quil straightened, trying to appear taller. Everyone laughed.

"Hey Bells, do the leeches know that drowning the place in flowers doesn't hide the smell?" Paul said, scrunching his nose.

"I don't know Paul, I think it's working. I can't smell you at all."

Paul glared. He looked around, almost like he was looking for something to throw.

"Bells, congratulations and all but seriously, I'm starved. When do we get to eat?" Embry rubbed his stomach.

"Not afraid the vampire's have poisoned it this time?"

"No, I'm just going to swap my plate with some of the Forks students? Which ones don't you like?"

I giggled, unable to stop my eyes from flicking to Mike. No, the food wasn't poisoned, and I didn't hate Mike. Now, if Mr Greene was here...

Yeah, I hope he got the hint when he was the _only _one in town not to get an invitation.

"Hopefully it'll be soon. It's good you're here too, I know Esme probably made a massive cake."

"Oh Bella, don't tease us," Embry whined. I giggled.

"Come on guys, let's go find a table," Seth suggested, giving me a hard look while gesturing with his head behind him.

I nodded, and watched them go, delaying having to go and see him. His gaze was burning into the side of my head. I looked away from him, turning to where the Edward had been. He was gone too, most of the people were. It seemed I'd missed some announcement to go to the tables. I could feel Edward's eyes on me too, from the furthest table. He was sitting, not listening to some lady who was trying to pull him into a conversation from a different table.

He waved his hand in a shooing motion, giving me a reassuring smile.

I turned back to my werewolf.

He turned too, walking into the forest. I followed, soon under the cover of the trees, away from the view of possibly prying guests.

He was quiet when he moved to face me, his eyes downcast. I didn't need to see into their black depths to see his sadness, his anguish. What I was surprised to see was the resignation on his face, the acceptance.

"I guess I've finally lost the battle, haven't I?"

I knew he was talking about winning my love. I didn't need to answer him. "Jacob, thanks... thanks so much for coming." The words seemed inadequate, especially since my voice was wavering. I could feel new tears running down my cheeks.

Jacob looked up, frowning at my tears. "Don't cry. I don't want you to ruin the dress. Knowing the bloodsucker's it's probably worth thousands."

I grinned, still crying. "Probably," I whispered.

"You look beautiful, Bella."

"Look who's talking, I'm pretty sure most of the girl's in my school were drooling over you earlier." He was wearing jeans and a long white dress shirt that strained around his chest.

"Sure, sure." He shook his head, sighing. "Everybody's probably waiting for you."

He moved to go and I stopped him, stepping in his way and raising my arms. "Don't I get a hug?"

He chuckled darkly, shaking his head as he swept me into a hug. However silly he thought my request was, he squeezed tight.

"You aren't to leave," I ordered, hugging him just as tightly, "I still want my dance with you."

"Bells, you aren't making it easy to say goodbye."

"Because you're not saying goodbye," I said firmly. I stepped away from him, grabbing his hand and tugging him back into the open. "You're staying for the dance. You can do whatever you want after."

Jacob shook his head again. I tugged him to his table, ignoring the watching eyes as some people tried to discreetly watch and continue their conversations.

"Is everything okay?" Edward whispered when I took my seat beside him. He moved a hand to my cheek, wiping away the tears.

"Everything's fine," I whisper back, trying to obtain that euphoric feeling I'd had before.

It didn't take long; I just had to look at the ring on my finger.

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**Poor Jacob, don't worry, I'm getting you that happy ending.**

**Please review, you know how much it means to me - even if your only reviewing "Get off your ass and update" - I love the threats equally.**

**See you guys soon - I'm trying to get back to the once every three days schedule, trying being teh operative word.**


	7. Speeches

**This is a nice and long chapter for you guys, so hopefully it should make up for the fact that I forgot to update for two days... sorry.**

**I don't have much else to say, so ...**

**READ ON!**

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6. Speeches

Dinner was amazing. The Cullens served as waiters, bringing out the delicious entree to me and Edward first. Apparently we needed to eat some before the rest of the guest could touch their plates. I took a tiny bite, mindful of my dress, and Edward surprised me when he too swallowed down a lump of the entree.

If I hadn't been wearing the dress, I think I would've eaten it for him. It was a gorgeous tart that the ingredients I couldn't name for the life of me, much less cook. The pastry melted and the filling was so intricately flavoured and balanced and rich. The salad beside was gorgeously dressed and it too had a myriad of ingredients fitting together so perfectly despite their range. There were some candied nuts, feta, pine nuts, pear, lettuce and a bunch of other stuff that I didn't get in my tiny mouthful.

We went around the tables, Edward and I, talking as everyone ate, and only returning so we could take a bite of the main then continue. That too was too gorgeous, filet mignon with amazing vegetables. I felt sorry for vegetarians.

Walking around being congratulated wasn't nearly as tiresome as the hugs. Now I could move to where I wanted, able to respond to a beckon by others when one conversation dragged, apologising and pulling away.

Mike, Jessica, Lauren, Tyler, Angela, and Ben sat together at one table, the rest of our grade on the other. They all congratulated me, all extremely dapper in their formal clothes. I very quickly exchanged compliments with the girls before Jess started babbling about how gorgeous the place was, how good the food was, how... I quickly excused myself. Angela gave me a warm smile and a subtle eye-roll at Lauren and Jess. I nodded.

Edward was – for once – just as talkative as I was. Sometime he was with me, holding onto my waist, as we made small talk with the guest. Other times he moved off without me, nodding or talking avidly with someone.

I spent a lot of time with the wolves. I ended up sneaking them my plate of food, all but untouched, and they battled with each other over it. Their banter was achingly familiar. I tried to experience as much as I could. Soon, too soon, I'd never be able to see them again. After I was changed they would want nothing to do with me – that is if they don't try to kill me. Jake joined in, but his jokes were rather more morbid, the laughter that resulted somewhat forced. I didn't fail to notice his eyes were almost always trained on me.

I was just about to leave the wolves' table (Jake's gaze was becoming uncomfortable, and I would not allow the guilt to ruin this day) when Alice approached me. Paul couldn't help but wrinkle his nose, Quil, Embry and Sam nodded at her. They had fought with her before, when they were fighting newborns. She'd earned their respect – if not their trust.

"Bella, come on, it's time to cut the cake!" she squealed.

"Finally"

"Yes"

"God I'm hungry"

I laughed at the wolves; they could probably each eat a horse then request a cow afterwards. I had to admit, I was jealous of their metabolism. My stomach growled a little. The water I found (the punch was surprising un-thirst-quenching, like ginger ale) wasn't enough. I promised myself a slice of cake, a small one – the dress was too tight.

The cake was spectacular. It was at least four foot high, beautifully white, little ropes of icing along the bases of each level, and white garlands of icing around the top. Then over the already gorgeous cake was icing flowers and leaves, looking almost exactly like the ones that decorated almost every surface.

I posed with Edward, both of us holding the colossal knife. When all the photos were taken and the first slice cut Edward manoeuvred the knife as far from me as possible.

"Remember what happened the last time you were around a cake knife?"

I remembered all too well, and shuddered, but my mood immediately brightened again when Esme presented me with a smaller slice of the cake I had just cut and a spoon. I shoved a bite into my mouth and almost groaned, it was a deliciously moist chocolate mud cake, and the little icing flowers tasted sweet and had the perfume of the flower they imitated.

I took another spoonful, grinning as I shoved it into Edward's mouth. He swallowed manfully, his returning smile mischievous before he too fed me a piece like a baby, making aeroplane noises and saying, "Open the hangar."

Esme passed out the cake while Alice snapped more photos of Edward and me eating the cake. Alice gave Edward a little speech how he was not to try and put the cake on my face after I took a spoon to the cheek. Of course Alice had come out with a napkin and more bronze blush for my cheek.

I was grateful when jasper whisked her away, forcing cake into her mouth, to which she retaliated with a larger piece. Emmett pulled Rosalie away from the cake too, joking that she needed to keep her figure. She swatted him playfully; he pushed her into her chair.

Edward pulled me after them, and I sat at the table for the first time longer than a minute. Everyone seemed to take our actions as an example, carrying their cake-bearing plates to their designated seats.

All the Cullens had one table, and our closest neighbour held the Denalis. I frowned when a particular guest took a seat at our table. I guess she was _technically _one of the Cullens now, and she was family, but I still felt that irrational annoyance at her presence. Her being here defied the logic of my presence, made me feel like I didn't belong, and turned on a hose of guilt in me. I had technically taken her life, despite the fact she didn't know of it.

Of course, my effort to be civil to her wasn't aided by her looks. Like any vampire, Izzy was gorgeous, her pale skin pink with a subtle rouge, her thick lips peach, her big eyes framed by thick, long lashes. Her eyes were a strange shade, maroon on close inspection – a result of brown contacts over her shining red eyes.

Her black dress was gorgeous, contrasting strikingly with her white skin. It held a plunging V-neck, was loose to her knee, and banded tightly around her tiny waist, a silver flower pendant at the front.

I hadn't seen her at all until now, and could understand why she had decided to stay away. She was shy, and didn't know the Denali's well enough to hide with them in their corner. She did attract attention, a strange girl no one had seen before and was just as beautiful as all the other Cullens. Looking around I could see Mike was staring at her, as well as a few other of my year, but those weren't the eyes that concerned me. Jake was staring – glaring – at her. The last time they had met he had come away with most of the bones in the left side of his body crushed.

She might not have noticed the gazes yet, but looked uncomfortable, which distracted me from my un-provoked dislike. She looked like she was trying to hide behind the curtain of her silky, wavy hair, and when she sat she placed a plate on the table, poking at a piece of cake with her spoon.

She noticed my staring, looking up and smiling sheepishly. "It feels weird – you know – to not want to eat it."

She poked at the icing for emphasis, unconsciously wrinkling her nose.

"No, I don't know," I answered, smiling genuinely at her for once, "but I will soon."

I turned to Edward grinning, he rolled his eyes.

I heard a clinking sound, and looked up curiously until everyone else seemed to join in with the tinkling. There was only one explanation, speeches. I didn't know whether to be excited or to groan in embarrassment – but I starting leaning towards the latter when I saw it was Emmett at the seemingly forest-made podium, tapping at the microphone.

"Is this on?" His voice sounded like it was right beside me, speaking normally rather than booming from a speaker nearby. I wondered where Alice had hidden the speakers.

"Well, as Edward's best man, I'd just like to say that I'm proud of you bro, you finally managed to catch one. And to my new sister, I'd like to propose a toast. Bella I hope you've got enough sleep these last eighteen years, because you won't be getting anymore for a while!" He laughed, and I shot a look to Charlie, who was glaring at Edward.

Emmett strode off the podium, grinning at me. I knew the meaning behind his words, but he knew exactly how everyone else would interpret it.

At my fuming Emmett only wiggled his eyebrows. I contemplating making his knee give out.

Instead I watched as Alice danced up to the stage, or flew. She looked so graceful that I could imagine wings on her back, holding her aloft, because she certainly couldn't keep her balance in those shoes, not with that flitting walk.

Everyone waited expectantly – some more hesitantly – as she mounted the podium, adjusting the microphone down a few inches to accommodate her height. Then she beamed, perfect white teeth shining. She looked gorgeous, a kind-hearted fairy.

"Bella, as your Maid of Honour, and your best friend, I can't tell you how glad I am to be able to call you my sister, though I already thought of you that way. There is one thing you'll have to do now that you're a part of our family though, which is sit or kneel when I'm talking to you, or grow a couple of inches shorter." Everyone laughed, genuinely this time, relieved it wasn't another innuendo. "And to Edward, my dearest brother, watch out, because now I have another thing to control you with." Everyone laughed again, even Edward, but when I turned to look at him he was raising his eyebrows in amused disagreement. He was probably right; I would side with him in most arguments.

It surprised me that the next person to take the stage was Jessica. I wasn't aware she even wanted to give a toast. I guess she just loved making speeches, as much as she would try to deny the fact in feigned humbleness.

Jessica was wearing an outrageously flamboyant pink dress. It seemed she was trying to steal the spotlight with it, the ruffled mermaid train at the back, the deep neckline at the front, the compressed waist. Then again, it did make her look good, and she wore it confidently as she strode across the stage, looking like she was trying to imitate Alice's dancing walk.

"As one of Bella's best friends," she said it like she believed she was the best, despite what Alice had said, "I'm very happy for you two today, as much as you love each other and everything, it's good to take away the competition." She gave me a warm smile and everyone laughed. "I remember the first day I met Bella, I was still trying to see the face on that tower," more laughter. "It attracted a lot of attention when a sky-scraper decided to attend school." I swear Angela never received these jibes! "Well Bella was just like every other girl at school had been, totally mesmerized by Edward. Then suddenly Edward is all about Bella! So I'd like to propose a toast, get this lovey-dovey couple out of here! I hope for your guys' sakes that it is somewhere _warm_!" I gave Jess a warm smile, taking a sip of water. Well, soon enough everything would feel warm to me, that had to count.

Charlie was next, even less graceful than Jess had been in her six inch pink pumps. He coughed once, clearing his throat, before he took the microphone. "Edward will be a good husband," he began, chocolate brown eyes trained on the man beside me. "I know this because I'm a cop, and I know things… like how to track someone to the ends of the earth." I laughed with everyone else, cringing inside. "And I know how to use a gun." My eyes flickered to Edward, who was smiling despite the threats of my father. "So here's to a good, respecting husband that will _always put his wife first_!" Everyone clapped as my father left the stage, dark eyes still flickering in warning to Edward.

"Sorry," I whispered.

"Don't be, I assure you I have nothing to fear from your father." Edward squeezed my hand softly, leaning in to kiss my hair.

Esme went next, graceful and beautiful in her flowing green gown. It was modest enough for a mother, and looked a little like the dresses of her time, but she looked far too young in it – definitely far too young to have an 'eighteen' year old son who had been married that day.

Esme's speech was short; her musical voice coloured by the warm, loving tone that made me feel so welcomed and part of the family the day we met. "I'd like to thank, Renee and Charlie for bringing such a wonderful person into the world and into our lives. We will cherish and protect her forever."

I didn't realize I was crying until Edward's thumb grazed across my lower eyelid. I didn't take my eyes off Esme, trying to convey my thoughts to her through my eyes. I was promising to her, promising to myself, that I would do the same to them, protect them to the best of my ability, and cherish every moment of happiness.

Then Edward was standing, and I was frowning, clutching at his hand while he tried to remove it. "I'd like to have my say too, Bella." I pouted, and he laughed, kissing my hand.

He was gorgeous standing on the podium, his olden-style tux with a tail on his suit-jacket. It reminded me of those types of suits pianists wore at concerts. I imagined him flicking it out behind him, and giggled. Alice smiled at me, used to my wandering mind. Izzy wasn't, however, and her smooth forehead crinkled into a frown. I shook my head at her, smiling softly. Eventually she would understand me.

Edward stood, proud and handsome, waiting for our silent conversation to conclude. When my eyes connected with his buttery orbs I did not look away. He smiled widely at me, like he'd won the lottery, and I was his prize. I imagined my expression mirrored his, only multiplied tenfold. I had more than won the lottery. The chances of being killed by being struck by lightning are 2320000 to 1, and the chances of being reincarnated into another dimension had to be closer to 7 trillion to one, and the chances of winning a vampire's love on top of that… well, I couldn't even guess.

God had been very, very kind to me. I don't know what I did to deserve it, but I would be forever thankful. Gazing up at Edward, who I could now absolutely claim as mine, was as good of a reminder as anything of my blessing.

Edward's voice held all the love his gaze held – Charlie had nothing to worry about. "It's an extraordinary thing to meet someone who you can bare your soul to and accept you for what you are. I've been waiting, for what seems like a very long time, to get beyond what I am. With Bella I feel like I can finally begin. So I'd like to propose a toast to my beautiful bride. No measure of time with you will be long enough. But let's start with forever."

I was fully crying now, my Cheshire-Cat smile catching the salty tears in my mouth. Alice's small hand appeared in front of my face, a bouquet of clean tissues in her hand. I thanked her quietly while keeping my eyes on Edward, refusing to look away until he was back at me side.

Instead of moving to sit beside me again, he took the bunch of clean tissues I held in my grasp and took my now empty hand, pulling me out of my seat so I stood almost eye to eye with him. Then he cupped my cheek with one hand, and wiped my face clean with tissues, gently and tenderly. I vaguely registered the crowd applauding, the coos and crying of some of the women. Most of my focus was one Edward, as he dropped the tear-soaked tissues onto the table, cupped my face like it was made of glass, and leaned in to place a soft kiss on my lips.

Moved hand hands to the back of his neck, running my fingers through the soft hair there. His hands moved to the small of my back, stroking the expose skin behind the laced up back. As much as his touch sent tingles through me, as much as I wanted to crush my body to his, I restrained myself, keeping the kiss as sweet as his gesture, blinking back the tears so that it would not be necessary again.

He still pulled back first, and rested his forehead against mine. "I love you," he whispered past the noise of the crowd.

"As I love you," I whispered back.

He stroked my arms, pulling my hands away from his neck and slipping his fingers through mine. "Come on, it's customary for the bride and groom to have the first dance."

"Wait," Alice called, flitting to Edward's side and glaring. "You know it's customary for something else to come first."

I was quite surprised when Edward grinned and dropped to the ground, lifting the skirt of my dress. Emmett and Jasper were suddenly behind him, hooting with laughter as I squealed at the cold and fright of Edward's cold hands on my knees. Suddenly it seemed all the other guests were up standing, crowding around us. I glared at Edward's guffawing brothers, lifting my skirt and bearing my garter-wearing thigh unashamedly. Of course that changed a little when Edward's head was there, and he was removing the lacy ring very carefully with his teeth. He winked at me before he flung it behind him, catching Mike Newton full in the face. Alice caught it all with her rapid-fire camera – I wanted the one of the garter in Mike's face.

But it was funnier when he caught the fabric, still in shock, and little Alice stalked up to him like a lion and snatched the fabric from his hands. She gave him a pointed glare before stalking back to me, stuffing the lacy thing into her bra.

Edward stood up, and chuckled. He placed his lips over my ear, and whispered, "He was thinking of where it had been, and was going to try and take it."

I nodded, it sounded like something Mike would do.

"Okay, you can go and dance now," Alice permitted, giving us a shooing motion. "Well hurry up, we're on a schedule here."

Edward led me to the dance floor, through the bunches of flowers spaced evenly around its edge. There he took my hand and my waist, moving me into position. I could dance, but waltzing wasn't really on my repertoire. I was glad for his leading, he slipped into the role like it was as easy as walking, which – knowing him – it probably was.

Dancing with Edward was effortless. I did not need to stand on his feet. All I needed, and all I wanted, to focus on was him, not the crowd, not the flashing cameras, not how I looked, not the temperature, just how nice it felt to be in his arms, how flowing the dance felt.

"Enjoying the party Mrs Cullen?" Edward whispered.

"Without the Mrs, I don't like feeling like a teacher."

"Okay then Isabella Cullen, but you did not answer."

"It's amazing, and you can tell Alice that."

"She already heard."

Then the music changed, and Charlie tapped Edward on the shoulder. Edward pecked me quickly on the cheek, and then moved off to dance with Esme. I watched them twirl across the dance floor, more graceful than professionals, as Charlie and I danced in a small little rectangle. I think pushing Charlie to be any more flamboyant would only result in him either stumbling or stepping on my feet.

"I'm going to miss you, Bells. It'll be weird not having you under my roof anymore. I'm already lonelier."

"You'll have Tiffany, and probably Embry. I just hope you've warned her that she'll have to cook ever meal you don't buy. I know Embry can't cook more than a sandwich, and you're cooking should come with a risk assessment… or an anti-venom… either or."

"And I'll miss your jokes," he added, trying to grin, but his eyes were glassy.

"Me too, oh, how will I survive without the 'pull my finger' gag," I let go of his hand to slap it dramatically at my collarbone.

"What, Carlisle doesn't know that one? I guess I better teach him it while I've got the chance."

I laughed at him, then the music changed, and I had a new massive partner to dance with while Charlie pulled Carlisle away from the crowd to talk with.

"What are you giggling at?" Emmett asked.

"Oh, nothing," I answered.

"Are you looking forward to your honeymoon?" Emmett smirked, wiggling his eyebrows as he twirled me around.

"Yes," I answered, unabashed. Emmett laughed, twirling me around faster and harder than necessary. He stopped trying to embarrass me verbally, instead finding amusement in catching me by surprise with a bunch of lifts. I only just bit back my squeals, but after the first few I couldn't hold back my giggles. It was kind of fun, like going on a rollercoaster. I always couldn't decide what to do on those rides, scream or laugh.

I was a little disappointed when the song ended and Emmett bowed at me, still wearing his mischievous smile, and moved to dance with Jessica. She looked scared and excited, a blush touched her cheeks. Soon her squeals could be heard over the dance floor.

"May I have this dance, malady?" Jasper was standing in front of me, offering his hand. I took my eyes off the spectacle of my former classmate with my brother-in-law, to take his offer with a smile. Jasper danced more respectively, and gave off an infectious feeling of happiness. I wondered if he did it consciously, or if everyone else's good feelings were making him feel good.

Most of my other dances were uneventful, almost all of them with humans that were less than great at dancing, so I spent the time chatting with them while keeping as much distance between my feet and theirs.

There were only a few more standouts, dancing with Laurent, Eleazar, and Tyler. Laurent decided to spend the time telling me how he'd been, what had happened in his life since I last saw him, and thanking me for starting this happy streak in his life. He explained that as difficult vegetarian life was he was much happier, and it was a lot easier as well. He surprised me when he thanked me for killing Victoria, saying he'd only kept up the friendship out of fear that she would come back to hurt him.

Tyler had come a few dances later. When Mr Weber moved away from me Tyler pounced, arm immediately snaking around my waist and pulling me to him. His other hand grabbed mine in his sweaty hold. "Bella," he sighed huskily, his head tucked into the notch of my neck and collarbone. I was taller than him in my heels, taller than a lot of people, as I had noticed as I danced with most of them.

Tyler smelt like he'd drowned his tux in cologne. His tie was loosened and the first few buttons of his dress shirt had been undone to expose the skin of his chest.

"Uh… hi Tyler," I said, frowning at him. I found no need to hide my shock and discomfit.

"You look beautiful," he whispered, crushing me closer to him.

"Thanks," I said unsurely, worried as he pulled back.

He looked at me, trying to stare at me from eye to eye. His expression was serious, but the hand that held my back was starting to go a little too low for my liking.

"Bella, I have something I need to say to you, to show you rather." Tyler moved his hands away from me, to his shirt. He stepped back.

"Ah, Isabella," Eleazar appeared in front of me, sidling into the space Tyler's moving away created. "Would you care to dance?"

I smiled widely, thankful for the saviour, taking his offered hand and mouthing 'sorry' to Tyler, who was watching the intimidating vampire with more fright than irritation. He huffed, stalking away to an angry looking Lauren.

"I was instructed to steal you away from that boy before he ripped his shirt off," Eleazar explained in a hushed voice, silent mirth shaking his chest.

He spun me in a pirouette, and I took the opportunity to search the crowd for Edward, seeing him watching me. I gave him a thankful look, and I saw the beginning of his nod before I was back facing Eleazar.

"Edward tells me you have an interesting ability, it sparked my interest. Are you aware of my previous occupation?"

Yes, I was, and Edward had explained it recently. I would be glad when I no longer had to feign not knowing anything. I didn't think I would need to wait long.

I nodded to Eleazar.

"Well then, for lack of better terminology, may I have a look?"

"Go for it," I allowed. I wondered what he needed to do just as much as I wondered what he would find. It'd be nice to put a name to my ability, find out what it was, but then again there was that quirky thing in my brain that stopped Edward and Jane's powers. I had no idea if that had anything to do with my power, or if was just a safe-guard god had granted me.

Eleazar brow was furrowed deeply, and his leading became less ostentatious, more like the human couples around us. I kept my feet moving, watching Eleazar's face.

"Oh, well, that's interesting," he whispered eventually, his brow now rising up and his eyes focusing again.

"What? What is it?"

"I can read humans very well, but I can sense that your power is strong, or will be very strong when you become immortal. It seems that you can control bodies – is that correct."

"Yes, well, I think so. I can kind of, but only majorly if I have contact with the person, or animal."

"It works on animals too, that's very interesting. Does it work on plants, or minerals?"

"No, I haven't really tried but I really don't think so. I work more with the cells, and plant cells are held too closely together."

"Wait," Eleazar frowned again, moving back, "you know what you're doing? It's not just instinctual, you can control it?"

"It's stronger when I don't control it, when I just go with the flow," I smiled softly.

Eleazar mouth fell open, and when he recovered the shock was still in his eyes. A small smile touched his lips, and he shook his head. "Oh Aro will be so disappointed that he lucked out. I suggest you do not make your powers known to him."

"Whoops," I cringed.

"He already knows?" Eleazar's voice and expression were incredulous, and a little scared.

"Not everything."

The music changed, and Eleazar realized he had to go. He took my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes. "Isabella, be careful, Aro is already envious of the Cullens." With that he left, walking away and pulling his mate from Carlisle's grasp and into a corner.

The most velvety and beautiful voice spoke from behind me, shocking me a little. "Don't worry Bella. Aro won't make a move on us. He is too good a friend to Carlisle to do that without provocation."

I turned flinging myself into Edward's arms. He chuckled wrapping his arms back around me. "I don't want to put you in danger," I explained. "I don't even hate the Volturi – as power-hungry as they are, they are necessary. We need law, we need order."

"I said," Edward laughed, pulling me away from him to spin me around, "don't worry! It's your wedding day, enjoy it!"

I sighed, shaking my head at myself. This was my wedding day, and I knew that if I was unhappy Edward was unhappy. This was the supposed to be the happiest day in both of our lives, so I moved back to his chest, capturing his lips. It was short and sweet, but when I pulled back my cheek-straining smile was back.

"There's one person you still owe a dance," Edward whispered, leading me across the floor.

I saw him quickly – he was the tallest one there – dancing awkwardly with a very excited Lauren who looked like she was subtly harassing him. One of her hands was dangerously close to the back of his jeans, the other resting at his peck. As we approached I started to hear her nasally voice, chatting incessantly as she batted her eyes at him. I could not see it personally, but with my gift I could feel she was pressing her arms in against her chest, trying to accentuate her bust.

I felt the urge to slap her, but instead stretched my stride and widened my smile.

"Jake," I called, a little too sweetly. "There's my best man."

He raised his eyes, smiling widely and thankfully as I approached, placing my hand on Lauren's shoulder. "May I take it from here?"

Lauren nodded, her smile fake and her eyes glaring, but she left without commotion. Maybe it was my height with the heels, or some kind of scent I gave off, but I swear I could see a touch of fear in her eyes as she retreated, running off to where Jessica sat.

"Oh my god, Bella, why couldn't you come ten minutes ago? I had to dance with the short one too! No offense, but are all girls your age subject to incessant-mundane-chatting disorder?"

"I think so, speaking of I just got the most amazing shoes and gosh they look so good!" I squealed, imitating Jess and flicking my braid.

Jacob just glared. "Not funny, I think my ears are bleeding."

"So that's what that was, I thought you'd started growing some kind of fungus."

Jacob chuckled, pulling me to him in a massive hug, disregarding the music for a minute. "I've missed you Bells, no one insults me like you do."

"And no one suffocates me like you do."

Just for that Jacob hugged me a little tighter, and I laughed despite the winding.

I didn't realize he'd lifted me off the ground until he spun around and dropped me to the ground. He was just as bad as Emmett.

"Okay Bells, you're going to bear with me here. I'm not the best dancer."

"That's okay; you don't need to be as long as you don't step on my feet."

Jake grinned and lifted me up again so the balls of my high-heel clad feet rested on his sneakers. He kept his hands at my waist, and I wrapped mine around his neck, leaning into his chest. I listened to his steady heartbeat, silent as we moved slowly in a little circle to the beat of the music. For a little while everything felt normal, we were just two good friends dancing. I could forget the tension between us, the love we felt to each other, the fact that soon we may never see each other again.

That left when I felt his lips graze my hair. I had to sigh, because I wanted to do the same, hold him tight, kiss his cheek, and make sure he never left me. While I knew I loved Edward, while he had won the fight for my heart, I still selfishly wanted Jacob beside me. Never seeing his white teeth shining in a smile against his russet skin was painful.

"I'm sorry," Jacob said in response to my sigh. "I'll promise to be good from now."

"You don't need to be good, Jacob, you just need to be you."

"Sure, sure," he mumbled. "Still, I wouldn't want to do anything wrong. This might be that last time I get to see you. I want to make the most of this dance, I'll probably only get one."

"You'll get as many dances as you want."

Jacob chuckled slightly, darkly, "You don't want to cause talk."

"They can talk all they want, I can't hear them."

"I can, and he can," Jacob jutted his chin out; in the direction I could feel Edward's body. I recognised his body so well I could probably track him now, and had; in those dark, dark times when I had no idea I even had a gift. Like I'd told Eleazar, when I worked purely on instincts, no real conscious thought, that was when my gift was at its strongest.

"You two shouldn't care either. And who says this has to be the last time we see each other?"

"You'll be different, Bella. And it'll mean they've broken the treaty and I'll have to kill you."

I smirked despite the seriousness of his words. "Who says you'll be able to? Gifts do get stronger."

I felt Jacob tense at the words, and he gulped loudly, clenching the fists at my back. He was still breathing a little too quickly. "You won't be able to control yourself. I just hope the leeches can somehow keep you under control." His smile turned bitter. "You'll be there problem. Do me a favour and promise me you'll bite them as much as possible."

I sighed. "I will be able to control myself, I know what to expect, and I'll have their help."

"That's not a promise," he was trying to put light on a serious situation, calm himself by being less serious.

"Okay, I promise to bite and scratch them as much as possible."

"That's my girl."

The music changed, and Jacob looked like he was about to pull away, looking up. I looked around, seeing that we had moved to a corner of the dance floor that almost no one else occupied. All the humans were closer to the drink table or half-eaten cake. Most of the wolves stood there too, steadily chipping away at the colossal cake.

I gripped Jake harder, looking to Edward with pleading eyes. He nodded again, but the pixie beside him frowned and tapped her watch. I sighed; the day had been so beautiful, so wonderful so far, that I had forgotten there was a time limit to it.

"One more dance," I insisted on turning back to Jake. "I don't want to say goodbye yet."

Jake smiled sadly, "Neither do I."

I moved one of my hands from his neck and cupped his cheek. "I don't want you to feel sad." I moved inside his body, to his brain, but all I could do was make him feel good, like he'd just eaten chocolate or something. Endorphins wouldn't help him, wouldn't take away his hurt. I wished I had jasper here.

"And I don't want you to feel guilty," his hands moved to cup my face. "I'm glad you're not hiding it though. You shouldn't have to hide what you feel."

I didn't lie; tell him I wasn't feeling guilty, because I could see the pain in his eyes, what coming today caused him. "I'm just so happy you came."

"It would've been a shame to miss this. You look beautiful today, Bella, even more than usual."

"You can thank Alice for that."

"No, it's not just the make-up. You're happy, I can see that, I understand he makes you much happier than I ever could – well, at least after you were with him. Admitting defeat is a little hard is all."

"You'll be happy you lost when you find the girl for you, Jake. She's out there, I know it, and I'm sorry I couldn't find her for you. She'll make you much happier than I ever could."

"But all I'll ever see is you, Bella."

"That'll change, you'll forget."

"No I won't. I have too good a memory for that. This is how I'm going to remember you though, olive skin, blue eyes, warm, soft," his hands moved back to my back, pulling me close. He took a deep breath, "I'll remember your smell."

"I'll be the same inside, you know. I'll just be a little more durable, a little faster. I might even be able to finally beat you in a fight."

"I'd still win," he said it like it was a bad thing, like he was imagining killing me. When I pulled back I saw him cringing.

"I don't care what Sam says, what you think, you'll always be welcome with me – treaty or not."

"Bells," Jake began before I put my hands over his lips.

"Shush," I growled, "just think about it please! I'm not going to say goodbye yet."

"Maybe you're right, maybe it doesn't have to be goodbye. When is it… happening?" I could tell it was hard for him to talk about civilly.

"After the honeymoon."

"You're um, still going to … try?" His heart was beating faster, his voice strained. I could feel his jaw was clenched with my gift. I nodded, not wishing to elaborate.

He pushed me back away from him, seizing my shoulder and bending so we were eye to eye. His black eyes burned with anger and worry. "Bella, you're stubborn, so I know I can't convince you NOT to do this. But you have to promise me you'll be careful." He was grimacing from the mental image he had. "You need to, I don't know, take control – use the gift if you have to, because he won't be able to control himself. He's much stronger than you, Bella, remember that."

"You sound like a dad."

"Bella, be serious! Promise me!" He shook me lightly, tightening his grip.

My smile fell at the pain. "Okay," I almost yelped.

"Promise me," he almost yelled, eyes blazing at the lack of commitment in my last answer. His grip tightened.

I frowned, jaw clenching, and determined not to admit to the pain of his hands. Instead I very deliberate grabbed his arms, undoing his clenched with my hands and made them into fists at his sides. "I can take care of myself Jacob."

"Please," his was begging now.

"Okay, I promise," I said, voice fierce. "But you need to promise me something. Don't run away, don't take off. Even if you don't want to see me, I'll still be able to write, to talk over the phone. I am not going to say good bye to you Jake."

"You have to make things difficult don't you?"

"Yes, I do! Now, I have to go," I could feel Alice starting to approach us, "but I WILL talk to you later." Jacob was starting to shake his head, his shaggy hair flying out. I wouldn't have that, I seized his face, gave him a big kiss on the cheek and a fast, tight hug, before stepping back. "I love you, Jacob."

I turned and strode away, hearing no reply. That didn't faze me, this would NOT be goodbye. I wouldn't allow it to be. I would find a way to make Jacob happy, I would.

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**Please review guys, please. I love each and everyone and when the reviews are lacking I think maybe I've done something wrong.**


	8. Flights

**Corn?**

**We're getting closer to the honeymoon guys. Thanks for all the reviews, even the confusing ones.**

**I won't say anything else, I can vent silently.**

**Read on!**

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7. Flights

Alice claimed me before I got the chance to go to Edward, clutching at my arm and starting to drag me away before I could do anything. "Come on, Bella, we need to get you out of that dress for the trip."

I frowned at the pixie, wishing that I could go with Edward. I felt guilty for taking time away from him, letting me spend time with Jacob on _his_ wedding day couldn't be easy. Edward was glaring at the pixie; I grinned at his expression, and rolled my eyes at Alice when his eyes met mine.

"Be back soon," he mouthed. I nodded.

Alice tugged me steadily up to the house. Renee and Esme waited in her room, reading to help with the impossible laces at the back. My mother and new sister did that while Esme steadily undid my long braid. I shook my head when my hair was free and gratefully took the brush Esme offered.

The dress Alice held up for me was gorgeous, a silky, gauzy white summer dress that hugged my torso and flared up when a span around. It looked way too light for Forks. She also gave me a pair of white ballet flats.

Renee was my first of the marathon of goodbyes. I couldn't help crying, feeling the loss of my mother. I sidestepped her requests for me to visit her; instead repeating as many times that I loved her, hugging her as tightly as I could without hurting her.

Then I was in the crowd, waving as I searched for my father. I found him near the back, leaning against one of the house's walls, eyes red and swollen.

"Oh Dad!" I called, running and tackling him with a hug. It was lucky there was a wall behind him.

"Easy there, bud," he said, chuckling gruffly, patting my back as I hugged him with all my might. "Now, now, I don't want you to be late."

"I love you Dad, I'll love you forever." I pulled back, staring at him, conveyi8ng as much of my love as I could in my expression. "Don't forget that, okay? You're the best Dad I ever could've wished for. I love you!"

"I love you too, bud, but I still think you'll be a bit iffy with me if you miss your plane. Now scoot, but remember to call me."

"I will Dad, and I'll write too!"

"See you Bells!"

I wouldn't though, would not see him. "I love you!" I called while moving back through the crowd to the car. Edward pulled me to his side.

"Are you ready?" he asked. I nodded, trying to dry the tears.

He all but carried me to the car, hurrying through the crowd as the rice shower began. I could tell a lot was falling wide, but it seemed we were being pelted by a massive amount, thrown with too accurate precision. I saw grins both from pale and russet faces, and could guess who was doing the best pelting.

I had to smile too; it meant we were parting on good terms. I didn't know if I'd ever see anyone else from the pack apart from Jacob.

The car was decorated with more flowers, and long gossamer ribbons trailed from the bonnet, tied to what looked like new, unworn stilettos. I frowned at the waste but the thought soon left my mind as Edward shielded me while I climbed inside the car, before vaulting in himself. I turned, watching behind me as we drove away, trying to memorize all the faces,

A few stayed with me, Renee and Phil, Charlie and Tiffany, but the biggest was the saddest face, standing with his face in full view because of his height, his features twisted in the cruellest agony and anguish.

I would see him again, twist that face back into a smile.

888

It took me a few minutes to realize we weren't the only ones in the car. It sounds really bad, but Edward had decided as soon as we were out of view of the house to start kissing me. It was hard to focus on other things when Edward was kissing me.

Rosalie was driving, sitting in the front with a studiously blank look on her face. I pulled back from Edward, frowning.

She noticed. "Don't mind me, go back to your tonsil tennis, I don't mind. I'll just turn the radio on."

I didn't like the bitterness in her voice, or the fact that she was here at all. Rosalie wasn't the most willing-to-help Cullen, and she had been very helpful and kind today. I felt sorry for her, that she had been pulled away from whatever she had wanted to do to be driving us.

Edward was kissing my neck. I moved my hand to his chest, pushing him back lightly, mouthing 'we have time for that later'. I took his hand and gave it a squeeze, settling back into the seat. I decided that if I wasn't going to spend the time kissing Edward I would spend it studying Rosalie. I remembered my promise to her, that if it were possible I had to changed her into a human. I knew how hard it would be, if it were possible at all.

But, it didn't hurt to study, to try. I used the ride to familiarize myself with her body, almost like I was becoming her. I could feel how the seat felt to her; feel the expanding of her lungs though she didn't need the air. I could feel the venom slowly move through her veins (I was still trying to figure out how).

And I found – all but sitting in her seat –I could step into her shoes, look through her eyes, and understand her feelings. She'd lived in a time where women were pretty much only there to have children, and as sexist as that ideal was she had grown up with it. She must've felt so useless to not be able to do the one thing she had – kind of – been born to do.

Then there was the fact that she wanted a child, that she wished she could have children and grandchildren. That she wanted to grow old, to live a happy, simple human life.

As far as I knew she might have wanted to eat food, to sleep, to not have to catch her own food, to not drink blood. She hadn't chosen this life, she wanted to be human.

And I moved before I could think, and when I had my hand on the exposed marble flesh of her shoulder I still wasn't thinking. I was instinctual, not consciously thinking, just being and doing. It was like walking or running, once I started I didn't need to think about it. It didn't mean it didn't cost, didn't use energy.

So I reached forward and grabbed her shoulder, gift using me as a vessel rather than me controlling it. Then everything slowed, stopped, and I lost all thought, all focus on the outside world, all my senses. I did know one thing; there was only me and Rosalie.

Then there was nothing at all.

888

I became aware of my surroundings very slowly. Firstly I felt something hard under me, bending to my shape. Then I felt how cool it was, and how more there was another ice-cold feeling at my hair. Then I heard a velvet voice calling my name. I felt my eyes, feeling they were closed, and pried them open, blinking to clear my fuzzy vision.

I saw two faces above me, and though they were still fuzzy I knew it was Edward and Rosalie, even before the memory of what had just happened came back to me. After my vision cleared my gift followed, and I felt their combined tension in their crystalline muscles.

"Bella, are you okay? Bella," Edward's voice was frantic as his eyes, his previously smoothed hair in a tousled mess around his free hand.

I mumbled a response, curling further into him. For all his hardness, he was a surprisingly comfortable pillow. He called my name again, still sounding worried, and I concluded that maybe it was better to sleep later.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked groggily, trying to remember what had happened. I couldn't think further than kissing in the backseat of the car.

"Bella," Edward sighed my name in relief, stroking my face.

"What did you do, Bella?" Rosalie's musical voice carried from above me, even though I had turned my face into Edward's chest.

I frowned, reluctantly pulling up from my comfortable position. I was trying to put together what had happened in my head. It didn't seem to make sense. I could remember sitting back now, studying Rosalie's anatomy, and how I felt like her for a moment.

"I don't know," I answered Edward's sister. "What... what just happened?"

Edward still looked worried when he answered. "You grabbed Rosalie's shoulder. She was about to hit your hand away but I stopped her. Then you fainted a few seconds later."

Oh, okay, that explains it. When I used my gift, especially instinctually, I didn't think much. I could remember now, the feeling of nothing. I couldn't recall it before because there wasn't really anything to recall – just a grim determination and a tiring rush as my gift worked.

Or tried to work it seemed. Rosalie looked just as much a vampire as she did before. I huffed, all that energy used and nothing! I couldn't wait until I was a vampire, until my gift was stronger.

"I was using my gift," I explained after a pause. "I was trying to turn you into a human," I addressed Rosalie, watching her reaction. She looked disappointed, sad. "It didn't work, obviously, but apparently that didn't change the fact that using my gift is really draining."

Edward sighed with relief at my explanation, glad there was cause for my fainting rather than some unknown medical condition.

Rosalie still looked sad. Only then did I notice she had pulled over, the car was standing idly, engine still running, on the grass beside the highway. Her hands were still on the wheel. I mustn't have been out long.

"Why did you do it?" Rosalie asked. Her voice was soft, she still sounded crestfallen.

I bit my cheek, and then rushed through my answer, not wanting to sound creepy. "I was kind of studying you, trying to picture how you think, and I understood why you wanted to be human. I was just thinking about how nice you were today, how helpful even though you don't like me. I ... I wanted to say thank you, in a way."

Rosalie smiled then. Her beauty was blinding when she was happy. Okay, maybe not happy, but not upset or irritated with me.

"Thank you, Bella, for trying."

I grinned lazily, leaning back into Edward (though it wasn't as comfortable at this angle). "Trying is the least I can do – apparently the most as well."

Edward laughed at my grouchy, bitter tone. "Bella, you can't do everything – even if you were a vampire..." he ignored my glare at 'if', "I doubt you'd be able to change a vampire back into a human."

"Thanks for the ego-boost," I grumbled, Edward chuckled again.

Rosalie was smiling ruefully when she turned back to the road. She pulled smoothly onto the highway and soon we were speeding back along to the airport.

My irritation at my lack of power was soon lost to the overwhelming happiness of the day. I snuggled into Edward's side, disregarding seatbelts, and stroked the arms that held my waist. I listened to the music in my Edward-seat, and starting to feel hints of falling asleep.

But then we pulled up into the airport. I must've been studying Rosalie for ages; it seemed like minutes since we had left the house. Edward lifted me off him, getting out of the car and opening my door for me. I smiled and took his offered hand, holding my dress's skirt down so I wouldn't flash anyone as I stepped out. The dress wasn't short; it went just passed my knee, but it was windy. The summer dress wasn't great for keeping out wind.

Edward must have noticed the goose bumps that rose on my arm as I stepped out, because he grabbed all of our luggage that wasn't my little carry-on (Gucci courtesy of Alice), and walked briskly inside. He thought I'd follow, probably overtake him, and normally I would.

Not today, though. I ignored the biting air, turning back to the beauty leaning against the boot. Rosalie was watching her brother, but met my eyes as soon as she saw me turn. Her smooth brow crumpled in confusion.

I smiled softly at her. "Don't I get a hug goodbye? You are my sister now."

Rosalie laughed, it was a beautiful sound. I don't think I'd ever heard it untainted by sarcasm or dark humour. She opened her arms.

I wrapped mine around her, bending down a little to do so. I grabbed her arms again, once again trying to use my gift. Rosalie giggled, pushing me back a little after a few seconds.

"Haven't tried enough today?"

I wobbled a little without her support. The double drain from using the gift didn't only making me lethargic, but also bringing awareness to my all but empty stomach. "I might as well try; Alice said I have a long flight ahead of me. Sitting down doesn't use much energy."

Rosalie shook her head, "Don't waste your energy on me. You'll have enough exercise in a few hours," she wiggled her eyebrows.

I gasped, shocked she'd be so open with me, then I mock-glared at her. "You're just as bad as Emmett."

"I am married to him," she explained, shrugging. Then her voice turned serious. "Enjoy your honeymoon, Bella, and your last days mortal."

I nodded, feeling sombre at the change in mood. "I will, and I'm sorry I couldn't ..."

She cut me off with a saddened smile, "Don't fret, Bella, you'll have eons of time for that soon."

With that she turned, walking and sliding smoothly into the car. I waved at her.

"Come inside, Bella." I hadn't heard Edward approach. "You'll freeze."

I pulled close to his side despite he was probably colder than the air, and we walked together inside.

888

I didn't really notice or care about the wait to get to the terminal, the baggage claim, the security check. I was mostly too tired and very happy to be leaning against Edward's side. Very soon it seemed (I may have semi-dozed off) we were through to our gate with some time before the plane boarded.

I made the most of that time, getting a coffee, an apple, and a massive packet of M&Ms. I decided that using my gift must have used a few calories if I was this tired so quickly. I only had a few more weeks of being human, at most, and as Rosalie had said I planned on getting _lots _of exercise on the honeymoon. Therefore, my diet was kind of invalid.

I grinned as I popped another M&M into my mouth. I loved M they were a gift to human kind. We were sitting in the plane now, me at the window seat. In between moaning mouthfuls of the chocolate-y goodness, and glaring at the female flight attendants who stared far too long at Edward, I was curling up on his side, kissing his shoulder and waiting for sleep to take me.

"You know I've never tried an M&M, none of our family has. They weren't invented until after we changed."

"I feel sorry for you," I grinned as I popped a peanut M&M in my mouth. I liked mix packs, mixed packs were good.

"I can't even remember if I tried chocolate, much less remember what it tastes like."

"Want a taste?" I offered, leaning up to kiss him. It was short and sweet, but when he pulled back he was pulling a face. "Not as good as mountain lion?" I guessed.

He shook his head, "Not nearly so."

I poked my tongue out at him, popping what had to be the hundredth candy-covered chocolate drop into my mouth. He chuckled quietly at me, lifting the armrest so he could pull me to his side. I sighed happily, curling my hands in his shirt. My M&M packet was all but forgotten.

Okay, maybe not, I put a few more into my mouth, feeling like the loudest person on the plane as I crunched.

The packet of massive chocolates was still about half-full when I drifted off, lulled by Edward humming my lullaby. I wished I could stay awake, entertain him on the plane ride, but I couldn't refuse my eyelids any longer. The chocolate didn't give me enough energy after the drain of the unsuccessful attempts to change Rosalie.

_I was sitting on a porch, my hands glinting in the sunlight above my crossed legs, sheathed in jeans. My head rested against a hard shoulder, Edward's. His hand rested on my knee, but he was not watching me. He was frowning; somehow I knew that even though my eyes never strayed from what we both watched._

_The scene wasn't overly grim, the sun shined and the garden around the people we watched was beautiful, well cared for. I distinctly had the impression it was Esme's work, kind of recognising her style in the plant placement and stone features. _

_It was the group's faces that made the scene sad. A woman and a man, human by the colour of their skin, the way they fidgeted, were staring down. A bunch of children clutched at their legs, tears running down their faces as they sobbed audibly. A few looked too young to control their volume, the elder's barely better. _

_But it wasn't their faces that looked the most pained. No, it was the still face, carved in intense agony that watched the ground from a greater height. I didn't recognise it as Emmett for a while, so unused to seeing him not happy. Other than the expression he looked as he normally did, if more rumpled._

_I looked down, through the feet of the group, to see what they were staring at. At first I just saw newly turned ground, an uncompacted dirt patch. Then I saw stone at one end, and gasped. Then it was as if the group wasn't there, or at least lost visibility for a moment, because even though their bodies should've blocked my view, I could read the stone as if it were in my hands._

_Rosalie Cullen-Hale_

_1915 – 2066_

_Loving wife, mother, and grandmother, who made the most of her second chance at a normal life_

I inhaled sharply, woken from the dream.

"Are you alright, love?" Edward asked softly.

I would have been touched at the concern, and smiling and reassuring him normally, but I was still a little shaken from the dream. I gave Edward a fast nod, blanking my face and settling back onto his chest so I could think without alarming him.

My subconscious seemed to have decided to show me the thoughts I hadn't fully formed in my head. They were surprisingly rational. It wasn't hard to interpret the dream, not with it fresh in my memory like now.

If I changed Rosalie back to a human (miraculous as that feat would be) she would end up growing old and dying. If by some magic I managed to do it to her, most likely as a vampire when I was strongest, I don't think I'd have the strength to change Emmett as well. I also had the distinct impression Emmett would not want to change, he loved being a vampire, being strong and fast. He wouldn't transition well in becoming weak and human.

I wanted to help Rosalie, wanted to make her human, make her happy. I had given her my word after all, and I didn't like breaking promises. Still, I hoped I never made good on that promise, the pitfalls of that seemed too great a loss. Oh, I'd try - I'd give her that much – try my hardest too. For once I wished my hardest would be weak, in that aspect at least.

I felt a sudden pang of guilt, of self-loathing. Book-Bella made Rosalie happy; she had Renesmee, which satisfied her wish to become a mother. I couldn't do that, I was infertile. Izzy couldn't even do that, she became a vampire before she had the chance. I locked my jaw, allowing only that shift in my facial expression. I needed to let out the force of my frustration someway; my teeth would have to take the load.

Of course, Edward had to notice. "Are you sure you are okay?"

"Yeah," I nodded, voice gruff from sleeping, "just air pressure." I waved vaguely at my ears. Then I noticed they did feel funny, and yawned, hearing the pop as my eardrums adjust.

"Are we landing?" I asked, bending my neck to look up at him. It was a nice view; his strong jaw was on display at this angle.

Edward nodded. "I didn't feel the need to wake you when they announced it. I would have woken you as we taxied. You need the sleep, you still look tired."

I giggled, pulling back and poking under my eye. "What, you don't find my bags attractive?" I swiped under one of them with my pointer finger.

Edward's thumb copied the motion. "I find everything about you attractive, Bella, but I'd rather you be healthy."

I took his hand, kissing the knuckles. "I love you," I whispered.

"So do I," he said, capturing my lips.

I kissed for a few moments before remembering my breath. My mouth tasted bitter, an after effect of the sugary chocolate and no teeth brushing between. My teeth felt furry. I pulled away, swiping my tongue across my teeth and grimacing. Above the bitter flavour was the pleasant taste of Edward, but I was sure the taste I left in his mouth had to be the opposite.

"Sorry," I said, rifling through my carry on for a toothbrush.

"Never be sorry for kissing me, Bella."

I rolled my eyes at him, but ceased my search. Instead I found interest in my M&Ms again. I wouldn't brush my teeth before they were finished, toothpaste always ruined the flavour of everything.

888

Another coffee, and a thorough teeth cleaning later and we were on board our next flight, this to Rio. I was still tired (I thoroughly believed caffeine was just a conspiracy), so I curled up on Edward's chest again. Rather than feeling jealous I was smugly happy when I saw the other girl's jealous gazes. They'd never take Edward away from me.

My happiness from the wedding was returning. I almost felt like purring. The seat under me was comfortable and big. Edward and I both made good use of the legroom. There were some pitfalls with being tall, my legs usually being squished was one.

I was supremely glad for Edward's willingness to spend money on something as unnecessary as first class seats. He'd still be comfortable standing, another reason I had no problem with lying over him. The arm that wrapped around my waist would never fall to sleep; he'd never feel uncomfortable from my weight.

There was also plenty of room for kissing, but still I had to restrain myself. I couldn't really straddle him on board, not because of seatbelts – we hadn't moved yet – but because as inappropriate as that was I don't think I'd be satisfied with just that.

It seemed my body had finally been enlightened to the fact that Edward was going to finally allow me to sleep with him. I was nervous and excited and what I was pretty sure was lusting. It was hard to keep my hands to myself, and I couldn't force my lips to restrain themselves. I was kissing him on the neck when we started ascending, Edward having somehow managed to slip my seatbelt on without my notice.

"Bella, I really think it's a good idea for you to stop," Edward's velvety voice was a little rougher than usual. I moved my eyes away from the edge his collar bone peaking from under his collar, tilting my head and pouting. He understood I wanted an explanation. "You're making it a little bit hard to keep in control. I'm sure you didn't want your first time to be on a plane."

I grinned at him. "I don't care much more than that you're happy with your first time." I pulled away from him for a moment, just to settle back onto his chest, my lips away from any of his exposed skin. "But you're right, I don't think it'd be the most romantic memory, and you're too flamboyant to want it anything less than perfect."

"I only want it to be perfect for you, Bella."

I hummed into his chest, warmed by his words. "I love you," seemed as good of an answer as any. Edward echoed the words, and I tingled all over, wishing I could show that love with a kiss, with more.

Well, soon I would.

I let my mind run with fantasies as I closed my eyes, soon feeling the pull of sleep again. This time my dreams were pleasant, closer along the lines of my last conscious thoughts. I knew there was one thing I would do tonight, I would please him, make up for everything he has given me.

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**Rio chapter is next.**

**Reviews guys. If you have any questions, review them! If you have any ideas, review them! I try to include input from my readers, except when I've already written past the point. Still suggest though guys, I'd love to worm your requests in.**


	9. Rio De Janero

**Another long chapter here, I decided to expand on the book again. I mean, when your in Rio, why wouldn't you want to experience it, even for a few hours? I've never been there though, so sorry if anything is incorrect, I did some research but not heaps.**

**before I forget, thanks for the reviews.**

**Now read onwards!**

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8. Rio de Janeiro

I woke up feeling very refreshed and alert, with only the slightest crick in my neck. As big as the first-class seats were, they weren't as comfy as a bed. Edward's rock hard body, even trying to bend around my supple one, wasn't the best mattress either.

Edward had woken me just before we descended. I was trying to hide my minor pains and subtly stretch my neck when we landed. Of course Edward noticed, and while we shuffled along the aisles to the exit his cool fingers massaged my shoulders.

As soon as we were out of the plane, into the terminal and out of space-restricted areas, I pulled Edward to me, almost tackling him as I threw my arms around his shoulders and attacked his lips. It was a good thing he was unmovable as stone.

Edward chuckled against my lips, but soon his amusement at my enthusiasm warped into his own. His resting hands at my back pulled me closer, and one moved to my hair, tangling in the knotty mess and holding my head to his. My hands were pulling at his bronze locks, tousled but not at all knotted.

His molten gold eyes watched mine, so full of love and hunger. They sent shivers through me, mingling with the amazing current of electricity that was ever present when I was touching Edward.

Our tongues battled for dominance, neither winning despite how much stronger and harder his was. My heart was beating fast and my lungs were burning, but I didn't want to pull away. He tasted so good; I couldn't even describe it – much better than M&Ms.

I think I wouldn't have pulled away until I passed out if there hadn't been a loud exclamation of "Ew" very close to us. Edward pulled back first, his smiling blinding. He laughed, laying his arm along my shoulders and turning me.

I immediately saw who had made the sound, the little child's face was scrunched up and he was pointing at us. I gave him a little wave, giggling at his disgusted horror and his retreat as he turn and ran away from us. The boy ran to what I guessed was his mother, who was watching us with disdain.

Was I not allowed to kiss in public? I very nearly stuck my tongue out at the woman.

But she wasn't the only one who had watched our exchange, several others about the airport had stopped in their tracks and watched. A bunch of college boys wolf-whistled as I met their eyes. It was even harder to not flip them off.

Edward kissed my cheek, and the frown I hadn't consciously made rose. "C'mon, Bella, let's go. There's much more privacy where we're going."

"And where would that be?" I asked with a grin. I knew of course, but I shouldn't know, and I didn't want to get Alice in trouble because he would inevitably blame her for my knowledge.

"Well, at the moment, it's a cab."

He chuckled at my mock-glare.

It was warm outside the air conditioning of the airport. I moved closer to Edward, his cool body counteracting the heat and humidity. It seems Edward wasn't just good at everything; he was good _for _everything as well. It was a –perk I hadn't yet experienced, warm usually meant sunny which was where he could not be. It was night now, so there was no problem with glittering skin.

Edward spoke in fluent Spanish to the cab driver, with the speed and melodiousness of sureness. I couldn't help being turned on by it. So as soon as he finished instructing I attacked his lips. The cab-driver laughed, saying something that sounded like teasing.

"What'd he say?" I whispered against Edward's lips, my hands still entangling at his neck.

"He guessed this is our honeymoon, and another comment I won't repeat."

I grinned, pulling away. "The first thing I'm going to do _after _is learn all the languages. I don't like censorship. How can I agree or disagree?"

Edward's smile was wicked, and one of his hands trailed down to my butt. "Trust me when I say you agree." He kissed again then, pulling back only when my head was spinning from the lack of oxygen.

Edward said something back to the cab driver, which made him laugh. I didn't know whether to smile or act demure, so I settled for a mixture of both.

The driver looked back at me through the rear view, his eyes crinkling and glinting happily. He looked like a very happy middle-aged man, his shirt was floral and he had a cap on despite the time.

The cab driver said another thing to Edward.

"He says you're very beautiful," Edward translated with a smug smile.

For some reason the cab-driver reminded me of Billy. I responded the same way I would to him, if in a badly accented Spanish. I giggled before thanking him, "Muchas gracias."

He tipped the cap to me.

I spent the next few minutes admiring the landscape, the beauty of Rio de Janeiro. It was dark, but the water was beautiful, the palm trees, the rainforest, the rock faces of the mountains, and the massive statue of Christ that overlooked it.

The city was different, some buildings colourful and small, almost stacked up on top of another, then there were the tall skyscrapers, modern and sleek.

Then there were the people, young and old, local or tourists, everyone looked happy. The crowds bustled, which made traffic slow. I didn't mind, it gave me more time to try and take everything in, the artistic graffiti, the colourful shops, the street performers.

Eventually I couldn't help myself. I turned to Edward with a pout. "Edward, I want to walk around."

Edward nodded, not at all surprised, and said something to the cab driver to make him stop. Edward handed him a wad of bills that made the driver raise his bushy eyebrows and try to push it back. Edward just smiled at him, said something in that Spanish that made me want to jump him, and pushed the money back.

The cab driver took it, parking the car a few metres away.

"He's waiting for us to come back; I had to pay him enough money to compensate for the custom he might lose." Edward took my hand.

"He was very nice."

"He had a very kind mind, like Carlisle. He's watching us now, worried about some of the attention such a pretty girl like you would bring."

"He should be more worried about the attention a pretty boy like _you _could bring."

Edward shook his head at me.

I manoeuvred my way as best I could in the crowd, tugging Edward to where I wanted to go. He somehow managed to weave around the people, not touching anyone, while I almost had to barge my way through.

Music played through the streets, and there were young people dancing everywhere. Performers busked at the corners, and market stalls sold their wares at the edges of the street. Edward suddenly pulled me backward, pulling me to his side to weave through an area.

Where he pulled everyone _was _dancing. They danced exotically, to the infectious beat played from somewhere I couldn't see through the bodies.

"Dance with me, Mrs Cullen?"

Edward spun me around, and I squealed from surprise. He smiled crookedly, and I instantly forgave him. Even in the dim light of the streets he was gorgeous, you couldn't be even irritated with something that handsome. He spun me again and pulled me to him so my back was to him and my arms crossed in front of me, holding both his hands. We rocked to the beat, and I let me head fall back onto his chest, my smile softening as my eyes closed.

I sighed with content and happiness.

Then the music changed, to a faster beat. I grinned and untwined myself from Edward's hold. He must have seen the mischief in my expression, because he immediately looked suspicious. He didn't need to be.

I wanted to dance with him and for him, my way. I kept it more circumspect, less racy, but I was pretty satisfied when by the end of the song he growled and pulled me roughly to him, attacking my lips.

When I had to pull back, panting and heart racing much more than from just the dancing, he growled at me. "You are never to dance like that in public again, only for me."

"Edward, everyone else here is dancing the same way." I pointed out a bunch of girls dancing with a lot more gyrating and booty shaking.

"They are trying to attract males, so it's unnecessary for you to dance that way."

I grinned at him, kissing along his jaw. I brushed my lips against his ear as I whispered roughly, "Are you jealous?" I moved my lips to his earlobe, sucking on his sweet skin.

"No, I still don't like hearing a bunch of other guys' thoughts about you. You're mine Bella." I shivered as he growled those words, it was a good shiver.

"Only for you then," I promised.

"Good," he growled, pulled my head around so he could take my lips again.

We kissed slower this time, more smouldering then full out flames. The heat in me still rose though, and I decided we should stop before I was tempted to start pulling his clothes off. Edward pouted when I pulled back, almost a role reversal, but I pecked his cheek and squeezed his hand.

"Come on, I want to try and find a mango, I haven't had one in years."

Edward let me frequent the food stores. I bought as much as I thought I could eat in before it went off. I knew I wouldn't be leaving isle Esme for a while, and wanted a say in the food I ate. I mightn't have cared too much earlier today, but I was feeling a little guilty for the M&Ms.

So I bought as many types of tropical fruits and vegetables as I could, and some essentials like garlic and onions, then a bunch of strange things I wanted to try before I was no longer human and food repulsed me.

Edward made a face at some of the stronger scented things, like the cheeses. I glared and threw the garlic in his face each time, fake complaining when it did nothing. Edward called me out on the fact, after about the third time, that if he was gone not only would I have no money, but nothing to do for the night. He said the latter with lips to my neck. Obviously it resulted in a make-out session and a very embarrassed check-out girl.

The cabbie said nothing as we piled the bags into his truck, Edward mimicking the strained way my arms were positioned so no one would be suspicious. The cabbie had waited diligently, and quickly stroke up a conversation with Edward.

I had to restrain myself for the whole ride to the docks, Edward's voice when he spoke in another language was so deep and musical, it made me feel very warm, and that had nothing to do with the climate. I liked the cab-driver too much to jump Edward in the back of the seat; it was rude when they were speaking.

I watched outside the cab as we turned onto the sea-side road. The lights of the city were bright, reflecting waving onto the black sea, their forms broken by the caps of the waves. The moon was the biggest light further out; bleaching the waves and shining clear in the cloudless sky.

It was beautiful, beautiful enough that I didn't notice we were at the docks until one of the larger yachts blocked my view of the ocean.

I could tell we were at the richer end of the docks; all the boats were big, modern, and flamboyant. This was where the cabbie stopped.

Edward and I once again loaded up on the bags. They weren't really as heavy as they were awkward, big and bulky so I couldn't just hold them up; I had to hold them out to my sides too.

Our taxi-driver took one look at me and jumped out, grabbing the bags and tutting at me. I smiled thankfully as relieved me of a few of the packets, chattering in a way that sounded both kindly and chastising. I made sure I kept the heaviest bags to myself though, the man looked more elderly out of the cab, and I was young and strong. I did give him the roller bag, it was just too awkward to try and carry and pull things at the same time.

Edward led us to what I guessed was his boat. It wouldn't surprise me if the Cullens had means of transport almost everywhere they went. It was against their nature to rent.

The boat was sleek and elegant; it looked faster than the others, more graceful. Its surfaces shone like new, the seats were shining and the metal and wood polished.

Edward leap into the boat lacked grace, for the unknowing human's benefit of course. He held out his hands and I passed him the bags gratefully. The cab driver was puffing when he approached to mimic my actions, and his shoulders slumped when he released the bags. His smile was still vibrant though, and he shot some remark at Edward that made him laugh.

Edward jumped back onto the dock, fishing around in his pocket and pulling out another wad of bills. The cabbie shook his head again, stepping back. Edward pushed the bills to him again, voice quiet and convincing. I only understood 'por favor' as please at the end.

The cabbie frowned, and with an almighty sigh took the money, holding it almost as if it were insulting. Edward chuckled quietly as he walked back to me. I wrapped my arms around his waist, leaning my cheek on his chest and watching the man go. Edward called goodbye, the cabbie replied the same phrase in his rougher voice, adding something at the end and laughing.

"What'd he say?" I asked quietly, watching him go.

"He wishes us much _happiness _on our honeymoon." The extra emphasis on the word made me smirk, and Edward nuzzled my neck.

I suddenly realized we were alone, and couldn't stop myself from throwing my arms around his head and jumping up to kiss him. Edward caught me, his large hands holding me aloft from my thighs. I wrapped my legs around his waist.

Our kiss was almost aggressive; I kissed him with all that I'd been holding off on in the past few hours. My legs felt very warm under his cold hands, his touch like fire, the electricity that passed between us igniting something inside me. I pulled my body as close to his as possible, wanting as much of that amazing fire as possible.

When my lungs were bursting from out kiss and I couldn't deny myself oxygen any longer I pulled back, watching Edward from my now slightly higher position. My chest was heaving and my breath came out in pants, and it excited me to see and hear similar from Edward.

But it was what I saw in his eyes that made my heart beat faster, made me feel like the smouldering coals inside me suddenly broke into flame.

His golden eyes shone with possessiveness, lust, hunger. They mirrored the way I felt.

I leaned back in, kissing along his jaw and down his neck, my hands moving to roam under the neck of his shirt.

"Bella," Edward growled, the sound thrilled me. I sucked at the point that his neck connected to his shoulder. "Bella," he said again, but this time there was more a command in his growl.

His hands moved from my legs to my waist, and he pushed me away from him despite how my legs gripped his waist. I pouted at him, sighing and giving up, letting my legs drop back down. He placed me gently onto the wooden docks.

"Bella, we should go. I didn't plan for our first time to be on the docks, but I can't control myself when you kiss me like that."

I could feel with my gift that his words were true. His body was reacting the same mine did, though differently because he was a vampire. I knew his body well enough to know that.

Oh yeah, and the tent pole in his pants was also a pretty good indicator.

But rather than spur me forward, make me happy that I had the same affect on him as he had on me, that reaction scared me.

Before we had just been kissing, it was normal, my pushing for us to go further was normal. I wasn't used to the fact that soon Edward would let us go further. I was scared of where further would lead.

Edward noticed my sudden change, my sudden fright. He moved closer to me, taking my hands. He bent his head closer to mine. I looked up into his eyes, no longer hungry but drenched with concern. "Are you okay, Bella?"

I nodded quickly, moving my lips into a soft smile. "I was just thinking," I said.

I didn't voice my fears. Edward already thought this was a bad idea; I wasn't going to tell him my worries. He might decide against this, against sleeping with me.

That thought steeled me. I wanted to be with Edward, to please him, make him happy. Sure, the mechanics of that freaked me out a little – I knew it was supposed to hurt – but I knew I'd get past that. This fear was irrational, nothing would go wrong. Edward was a million times stronger than me, but he had amazing self-control. After all, he did fine with book-Bella, without the advantage of my gift.

I was a little surprised he'd picked up on my fear in the first place. But then again I'd tried to batter down my defences today. I wanted Edward to be able to read me, understand my emotions, my happiness and love. It had been a hard task, my walls weren't brick or stone and hard to rebuild once crumpled. My defences were more like spring loaded steel. I only held them down still because I wanted to show all my feelings to Edward tonight, as I knew he would do for me.

Edward had just stood still, watching me think. My smiled turned teasing. "What, we just going to spend the rest of the night here?"

Edward smiled crookedly. I blinked and missed the movement as he swept me into his arms, before leaping - much more gracefully than with the cabbie around – into the boat.

He set me down on the passenger seat, before sitting himself. He started the engine, and the revving that followed sent warm vibrations all through me. Yeah, I liked the sounds of engines revving. I wasn't completely car-crazy, but it was my body's automatic reaction to grow excited when I heard the power of an engine.

I wasn't disappointed, if anything the sound of the engine wasn't loud enough to show the boats speed. Edward drove the boat like he drove a car, very, very fast. Unlike in a rooved car, you can ignore the speed, of course you feel the force pushing you back into the seat when you accelerate, but win the windows are up you can't really experience your speed.

A boat is different. Our speed was so great that I worried the front of the boat was lifting too high, that we'd flip. The wind buffeted me, ruining my already knotted frizzy hair. The hull of the boat rose up and down with the waves, like it was jumping.

It was exhilarating. I giggled, and laughed and screamed; standing the wind wasn't shielded by the glass screen in front of our seats. I clung to the screen, needing something other than the seat behind my knees to steady me.

Edward watched me mostly, rather than the water. There weren't really any boats anyway, and we'd been going straight for a while now, so he didn't have to worry about steering. Good thing about a boat, there was no road to worry about.

Edward's eyes, when they weren't staring blankly ahead, watched me with half concern and half amusement. He obviously worried about me falling off, stumbling with a larger wave, but he found amusement in my enjoyment. I often heard the music of his chuckles over the roar of the wind in my ears.

As great as the boat ride was, I too found myself watching my mate instead of the sea. There wasn't much to see anyway, just blackness with a silvery edge along the wave peaks, and the big moon, full and bright in the clear sky.

Edward's perfection dwarfed the scenery; he made it look extremely plain in comparison. His bronze locks were darkened, but the messy peaks shone like polished copper. His skin had a faint luminescence, brighter along the hard planes of his face, almost blue in the depressions. His teeth glistened, shining even whiter than his skin. His golden eyes glinted.

He was inhumanely beautiful. Glowing like this he could have just descended from Mt Olympus, a Greek god. I felt the possessiveness I felt towards Edward spike, this perfection was _mine. _I didn't worry about that I wasn't worthy, of course I didn't deserve all this, it went without saying. I didn't feel guilty about it though, I felt so insanely happy. I'd won the lottery of the millennia, probably more.

And I was going to make the most of it.

"Bella, look ahead," Edward interrupted my thoughts. I squinted into the darkness, but it took me a few moments before I could discern the black peaks of the mountainous island from the dark background of the sky. The outline moved a little, swaying with the breeze.

"Where are we?" I asked, promising that this was the last lie I'd tell tonight.

"This is Isle Esme," Edward explained.

I looked closer. At the speed we were travelling we were already close enough to make out the gleaming sheen of the white, sandy beach, and the vague outline of the very front trees.

Edward slowed, and started to turn every so often at what I could only guess were shallow reefs Edward's eyes were sharp enough to pick out. We were close enough now that I could look at the rainforest bleached black and grey in the moonlight. It looked beautiful, and very slightly intimidating. I was so used to the Forks forest that the contrast was stark, even without colour to tell the difference.

I was sure it would be far less unapproachable in the daylight and with Edward at my side. I intended on going hiking while I could, it may be one of the few times I'd ever be able to go into a tropical rainforest. I'd be restricted to private or sunlight free forests soon, though it wasn't extremely sunny inside a rainforest. I also wanted to try any tropical things in the forest. I could already see some black ovals on the sand that looked like coconuts.

Edward slowed extremely, and I turned my head from my immediate right to see we were pulling into a wooden dock. I couldn't see the home from here, maybe a safeguard in case the vampires inside needed to hide from open windows when humans arrived. Not everyone had the advantage of Edward's radar, and they may be too distracted to here the approach.

I cringed quickly at the thought. I don't know how Edward had survived in a house with his family at night, because I couldn't bear to think about it.

Edward looked about to question my expression. I held up a hand, "I don't want to think about it." I said quickly.

He obliged, cutting the engine. It was suddenly very quiet; the only sound was the breeze through the palms and the waves rushing over the sand. Without the wind I once again noticed the humidity, the sea and rainforest scented air.

"This island is a gift from Carlisle to Esme – she offered to let us borrow it."

I wondered when he bought it. In an act to prevent boredom I had once looked from Google earth at as many islands as I could. Most large enough to hold trees had been bought.

Edward tied the boat to the dock. Then before I could even think to help with the bags he had scooped me up into his arms, holding me bridle style and grinning.

"Is the dock the threshold now?" I asked.

"Well, technically the whole island is ours right now, so yes, I'd say it is. You know I'm nothing if not thorough."

Edward carried me around the bend of the dock, walking at human speed so I could take in as much as I could of the island. The route to the house was sand, leading through the dark, thick vegetation. The sand looked as clean and perfect as I'd thought, white and shining.

The house, once it came into view, was just as big and lavish as I'd thought, and that was just from what I could see in the dark and obscured by the trees. The house was full of windows, and I could see the vague shapes of furniture inside.

Edward was smiling at my wide-eyed expression. "Did you ever expect something of ours to be small?" My annoying mind decided to think of that in another way, one that didn't refer to the house.

"No, not really," I said quickly, trying not to let my mind get to the gutter. Normally that thought may have made me giggle, even share my thoughts and tease Edward. Now it just made my heart beat a little faster, my throat feel dry.

Edward set me down after we'd gone through the glass doors of the house. I could understand why they were unlocked, it was unlikely a robber would go to a private island and then go even further to follow the uninviting path to see if there was a house.

He turned on the light, and I had to blink to adjust to the light.

Of course the interior had to be even more lavish than the exterior. I could recognise Esme's style of furnishing, how everything seemed to be different but all fit together. The floor was dark wood, polished to shine so much that I could see the outline of my feet reflected from where I stood. The walls – the ones that weren't glass – were white. Beautiful paintings of almost every style decorated free areas, the only common theme I could see was that they were colourful and happy, no depressing Edvard Munch here. Then again, all of these painting were probably originals; the Cullens could have painted them for all I knew.

There were plants inside too, tropical and beautiful and belonging just as much as the pot or vase that held them or the wooden coffee table or white couches.

I walked around, wanting to spend time just looking, and walked though a doorway into what had to be the kitchen. It was sleek and modern and very clean, looking quite unused. I'd change that.

I hadn't been aware Edward had left me until he was back, holding all the plastic bags and with his nose scrunched. "I'll let you unpack these; you'll be the one who needs to know where they are."

He placed them on the ground, and pushed them towards me with his foot like they were the most disgusting thing in the world, wearing a smile all the while. He was teasing me.

"It's not that bad," I said.

"I guess not, but you aren't getting any kisses with that cheese on your breath."

I pouted as if that were a large ask. He laughed, coming closer to sweep me into a kiss. I was a little surprised, but continued kissing him none-the-less. He pulled back when I was red faced and panting. "Would you like to join me for a midnight swim?"

I gulped a little.

Edward saw the fear in my eyes again. "But I'm sure you'd want a human moment first, it was a long day. And I still want those away," he gestured to the bags with a grin, "where I can't smell them."

I nodded, smiling softly. I kissed his cheek.

Edward moved his head closer, nuzzling my shoulder and taking a deep breath. Then he kissed under my ear. "Don't be too long, Mrs Cullen."

He moved away, walking towards what I thought was part of the wall, but turned out to be a door that led straight to the beach. On the way he shrugged out of his shirt, leaving it on the floor.

The motion excited and scared me. I threw all the food into the massive fridge; I'd go through it later.

I ran back into what I now guessed was the living room, grabbing the toiletries bag and running around the massive house until I found the bathroom. The first I found was adjacent to a bedroom, a bed room that had the biggest bed I've ever seen in it, white and draped in a mosquito net, or maybe it was for decoration, I didn't know or care because right now I needed to get outside, before my nerve broke.

I stripped out of my clothes, jumped into the shower and scrubbed myself all over in record time. All I could think about was Edward. How would he react to seeing me? I'd shown up in lingerie for him, but I'd be completely naked. What would he think of my body? Would it be too straight for him? Did he want more curves than I possessed. What about my girl parts? What would he think of my b...?

I stopped myself before I finished that thought, turning the water cold to shock me out of self-conscious thoughts. Then I jumped out, onto the soft floor mat in front of the mirror. While I waited for the foggy moisture to evaporate from the mirror I scrubbed my teeth, twice, and flossed just in case. Then I rapidly pulled my brush though my hair, grimacing as it pulled on the knots.

The mirror cleared by the time I was done, and I frowned into the mirror. I was looking at my body, sighing. I'd always thought I'd had a good body, but I worried now. Edward had much better sight than me. He'd notice the small scars, the moles, the tan line, the red line of where the elastic of my pants had been.

I wasn't perfected by the change.

I sighed running a hand through my frizzing hair, the humidity must be doing it, or the fact I must have so many split ends from where I ripped the knots out.

Edward would accept me; I knew he would, so why was I standing here, fretting?

I moved outside, only mothering to dry my feet with the towel. My hair was dry so it wasn't dripping onto the polished floor or carpets.

I realized one reason why I was so hesitant about my body, completely naked, when I stepped onto the sand. The thought stopped me in my tracks, made me gasp.

There was only one other male who had seen me naked, Logan. The thought of what almost happened sent shivers through me, he had almost taken what was reserved for Edward, what I was about to give him. It was that that made me move again, determined, like I was marching. The circumstances were completely different. I will gladly give Edward my virginity; it was one of the only things I could give him that he couldn't obtain himself.

Walking as quickly as I could I could still appreciate how soft the sand was, how smooth and fine. I wanted to scrunch my toes into it.

But Edward was waiting.

He stood waist deep in the black water, moonlight rippling with the tiny waves. All the large waves had been stopped by the reefs; there would be no surfing for me.

I didn't mind, it was fine if I could get more views like this. His white, gleaming shoulders were broad, his back corded with muscles. His bronze hair was even more tousled, darkened by the water and the light.

But I couldn't see his face. All I could tell was that he was looking up at the moon, his large hands running over the black and white water beside him. The muscles in his arms were obviously to, rolling and hard.

I was in the water before I could think; the need to feel those muscles, see his face, and kiss his lips was too strong. It was stronger than my fright, my fright about my performance. It was my first time, his too. I could be terrible or amazing; Edward didn't have much to compare it with, other than what he'd seen through other's thoughts.

Edward didn't turn until I reached forward to place a hand on his shoulder, for my modesty I guessed. I didn't want that, I wanted to see his face. He only half turned at my touch, showing half of his perfect face. I walked beside him, turning to see his face fully. He was watching me, golden eyes glinting.

The love and lust in his eyes made the fire inside me burn, at the forefront of my mind now. My hand on his shoulder wasn't enough contact for me. I wanted to jump on hi, show him my love, and not stop until he fully understood.

His eyes swept across my body, my exposed torso. I shivered, but didn't have time to feel self-conscious because his eyes were once again on my face, smiling softly. "You look beautiful," his voice was low, quiet, and gruffer than usual. My heart beat faster.

"You look perfect," I said.

Edward's smile dropped, his eyes turning serious. "I promised we would try. If... if I do something wrong, if I hurt you, you must tell me at once."

I realized he had to be just as nervous as me, more so probably. At least I didn't have the fear of crushing him.

That frightened me too, but I trusted him. I nodded. "I promise, and if you don't like something, or don't..."

Edward stopped me by placing his hands on my cheeks, leaning closer. I almost jumped up to kiss him, but noticed how his eyes were amused, his thumbs grazing my jaw. "I promise, Bella."

And then he did lean down, sealing his words with his kiss. It was sweet, it was soft, and calmed all my nerves, soothed all my worries, and fed the fire inside me. But it was too sweet, not satisfying the hunger in me.

Edward noticed my lips moving faster, noticed my impatience, and moved his hands from my face, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me to him.

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**Yeah, I did actually write a lemon for the next chapter, so I guess you guys can look forward to that. But... I won't post it unless I get at least 10 reviews, otherwise I'll just PM it to the users. I'm hesitant to post it because it's a little embarrassing, but I've made it a whole seperate chapter so you wouldn't miss much plot if you don't read it.**

**So review guys if you want that citrus.**


	10. First Time

**Okay guys, you reviewed, and thanks for all of them, anonymous or not. **

**So if you don't want to read this chapter you don't have to, otherwise, read on!**

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9. First Time

The kiss turned more heated as soon my body was flush to his. He pulled me up, pulled me high, so I wrapped my legs up around his hips, slightly afraid of what I knew was beneath me. I was glad of the water obscuring anything below his belly-button, if I could actually see it, measure its size, I'd be frightened. It'd be like looking at the size of a dagger before you plunge it into your stomach, or watch the length of the needle of your flu shot.

I didn't want to be scared. It was Edward. I wanted to give him everything.

It was easy to know how much I wanted this; it surged inside me with every heartbeat. I wanted him, all of him, and he was mine. I was his; I wanted him to make me mine. I was being silly, it wouldn't hurt much, and I could heal it soon after. I was sure many girls wished they had that ability.

As I thought my aggressive kisses slowed, my tongue stroking rather than battling. The hands that had gripped his back moved to his hair, running through the soft wet tousles of his hair.

I opened my eyes, watching his golden ones. He seemed to guess why I slowed, the reason behind my hesitance. "You don't have to do this," he said softly. Okay, he guessed wrong.

"No," I agreed, "I don't have to, but I want to. I want you Edward."

He growled at my words, pulling me closer and bringing his lips to my neck. The sound, his touch, sent amazing vibrations through me, burned the best way possible.

I knew I was ready, and when I eased my hold just a little, to move down, I felt he was more than ready. He groaned at the touch, as slight as it was. I could feel the tension in him with my gift, the almost pain in his lower regions.

I didn't want Edward in pain, so I moved my hands to grip his shoulders, holding as much of my weight with my arms. Edward's tension was building, his arms a hard cage around me, holding me aloft more than my legs or my arms.

He moved his lips from my collarbone, raising his head to look me in the eye, to watch me. His golden eyes shone with an amazing intensity. His arms moved, so I could move further out. I missed the contact of my chest pressed against his, of being able to feel the hard planes of his muscles.

I moved my hips back again, and down. Edward was a still as a statue, only his eyes moved, watching mine. His jaw was clenched; I knew it took all his strength to stay still.

I felt the cold tip of him against me, and shuddered. Edward's breath was coming out sharp, unnecessary as it was. I didn't need my gift to tell me how much he _needed _this right now.

"Are you ready?" I asked breathlessly, surprised by how much I _needed _him.

He nodded tensely.

"I love you," I whispered, readying myself.

"I love you," he whispered back.

Then I pulled myself to him, gritting my teeth. It stretched and burned a little, despite how cold he was. I had to close my eyes.

Edward moved one of his arms, easily able to support me with just one. His thumb brushed over my eyelids. "Bella, open your eyes," he whispered.

I opened them slowly. His face was so close; I leaned in, capturing his lips. He responded slowly, still very tense. He was worried about hurting me, giving me time to adjust. I moved slowly closer as I kissed him, trying not to show my pain if not hiding my discomfort. I didn't want to hide things from him.

Moving slowly like this I gradually felt the change as discomfort grew to warmth, a warmth that made my muscles want to clench around him, but he wasn't fully side, I knew that by the distance I held my body aloft. He was huge, long and thick. I'd be here for hours if I kept this pace.

I kissed Edward harder, moving my arms to wrap around his chest. I clenched my jaw, and took a deep breath, then pulled myself to him, hard and fast.

I couldn't hold back the choking gasp that came from my mouth. Edward hands immediately moved to my face, cupping it. "Are you okay?" he asked worriedly, voice still strained. I could feel how his body reacting to mine.

I nodded, reassuring him. "Just... just give me a minute, please?" He nodded, kissing my forehead gently.

I had to close my eyes, using my gift in a place I certainly had never used before. I felt the broken hymen, the blood cells rushing out of it into the sea. It was a good thing we were in the water. I had taken Edward's thirst, not his taste for blood.

It was strange healing something so it wasn't like it was before. I healed it away, shivering at the cold/hot/shocking feeling _down there_. For a moment I thought it was the gift that felt good, but soon discovered the amazing pleasure/pain/heat was Edward inside of me.

I smiled widely, opening my eyes and attacking Edward. I kissed him furiously, pulling myself as close as possible. It was like we were one rather than two people. Edward responded just and animatedly, pulling me close and running his hands over my body, familiarizing himself. I did the same, pressing, stroking, and running my nails over Edward's rock hard flesh, listening to what he liked best with my gift.

"Bella," Edward growled, the sound thrilling me, "I can't hold one any longer."

"Then don't," I clenched my walls around him, feeling the tension leave him, his muscle convulsing, the electric pulses in the familiar centre of his brain. I clenched and unclenched around him throughout, letting him ride out his orgasm. His groans and moans filled me with happiness and satisfaction. I kissed along his jaw, waiting until he regained composure.

I pulled away from him gently, kissing down along his neck.

I didn't like the feeling after, the emptiness and throbbing and heat with nothing to satisfy it.

"Bella," Edward snarled. I looked up to see his eyes still hungry. He grabbed me, pulling me. I threw my arms around his neck, and by the time my lips were back on his there were sheets on my back and a pillow behind my head.

Edward kissed me, and I pulled myself as close to him as possible, arching my back. His erection pressed against my leg, I shouldn't have been surprised the vampire would be ready again so soon.

His kisses moved from my lips to my jaw, then ran down my neck. Then his lips moved south, and his hands moved from gripping my hips firmly to stroke painfully slowly up my side. I knew what he was doing before his hands reached my breasts, and I was already panting heavily. I gasped as his hands cupped my breasts. Tenderly he squeezed, my breath hitched and I writhed. His cool fingers set fire to my skin, his lips even worse. He pinched my nipples and I moaned, lifting my chest to meet his lips and he kissed along the base.

My hand moved from his back, where they had clenched and scratched, to his hair. When his tongue circled my nipple I had to pull him up, to my neglected lips. I crushed my body to his and he did the same, wrapping his arms around my waist.

I flipped us around, so I sat on top, legs to either side of his torso. I grinned down at him, my damp hair falling down to tickle his face. I kissed down on his chest, copying his previous actions, his groans and his body's responses spurred me on, until he yelled. "God, Bella, please."

I rose from his chest, holding myself over him. I removed my eyes from his strained face, from his tense muscles, from the splintering wood under his hands as he gripped the sides of the bed. I moved them down, to the tower under me. It was even bigger than I'd thought.

I lowered myself onto him, throbbing around his length. I moaned at the feeling, much better than before. He groaned, sending more heat between my legs. He felt very sturdy beneath me, as unmovable as a boulder.

I lifted myself back up, moaning at the friction. I rode him slowly, up smoothly and grinding down, listing to Edward's bodies needs. He kept up a string of groans and growls, my name thrown in every once in the while.

I felt a deep tension building inside me, different but somehow the same as his. Edward's eyes closed, and he rocked his head back and forth with my movements. I didn't close my eyes, enjoying the view of Edward's perfect body and his reactions.

The tension built inside my abdomen, growing so tight and hard I almost stopped. But I kept going. Edward was straining not to come; I could feel he was on the edge. He was waiting for me. I could feel myself on that ledge, hastening my pace.

Edward's hands were suddenly at my butt, squeezing. His eyes were open and full of the lust and heat I could feel inside him. "Belllaaaa," he groaned, lifting me up and plunging me down onto him.

"Edward," I yelled as I came, unravelling on top of him. My walls milked him, clenching and unclenching spasmodically as my nerves lit on fire and pleasure spread through my veins. Edward came seconds after, groaning and flipping my off of him, his face connecting with the headboard. I didn't register the cracking sound of the wood breaking off, too dazed and amazed by the feeling gradually wearing away from me.

His lips were back on mine before I'd fully gotten back from cloud nine. I gripped him even tighter than I had before, hitching my leg around his waist and pulling his hips to mine.

Edward supported his weight above me with one arm, his free hand roaming over my body, squeezing my breast, sliding down my waist and over my hip, gripping my thigh and spreading it out wide. I got the hint, opening my legs for him.

Edward ran his teeth very softly over my bottom lip, and then trailed kisses down to my belly button. It took my overwhelmed mind a second to realize what he was doing, why he kneeled near my ankles, his hands running up and down my thighs. When his lips continued south I realized and started to squirm.

Edward looked up, seeing my self-conscious panic. He grinned crookedly, heating my inside once again. The smile was so cocky, so sexy. "Bella, you've treated me twice this evening, I'm just evening up the scores."

I moved my hands to his hair, tugging his bronze locks. I didn't want him seeing there, it couldn't be pretty. He ignored me, continuing to me very aroused and wet entrance.

I gasped and panted as his lips touched my folds, so cold they made all my nerves down there tingle. His tongue flicked out and I convulsed, gasping and moaning as he repeated the motion. "Mm, Bella," he groaned, and I gasped at the vibrations that caused, "you taste amazing."

He moved his tongue around in a circle, and up and down, while I writhed and gasped and yelled and groaned and moaned. I could recognise the feeling of being close, the tightening of the muscles low in my abdomen, and the feeling of it spreading. Then Edward slipped a finger inside me, pumping, and I lost it. I screamed, gasping as the amazing pleasure spread through me, harder than before.

A few minutes later I could take in my surroundings. Edward was hovering above me, watching intently. I smiled so widely it hurt, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing his shoulder. I moved back to kiss his pecks, and noticed that the broomstick was back.

I smirked at Edward. "I better take care of that," I purred, looking down at his crotch. It moved when I spoke about it, quivered.

I pushed against his chest, and Edward rolled away, lying onto his back. He brought his hands above his head, gripping the headboard.

I grinned at him again, crawling back.

I watched Edward's face rather than looking down. I was still a little intimidated by the size of him. I gripped my hand around his shaft, squeezing gently. He groaned loudly, his hips bucking forward. I leaned forward, licking the slit at the top of his head. He groaned even louder, throwing his head back. I licked it again before bringing the head into my mouth, running my tongue on the underside and gripping him harder with my hand. I ran my hand up and down his shaft as I sucked at his head, watching Edward's face contort into a million different expressions.

I pulled more of him into my mouth, rocking my head back and forth. I moaned at his taste, even better than his skin. Edward groaned my name at the vibration. I tried to pull even more of him into my mouth with each rock, eventually accepting I wouldn't be able to fit him all into my mouth. My gag-reflex was sensitive, I wondered if vampires had gag-reflexes.

Where I couldn't reach with my mouth I rubbed with my hand, the other moved to cup one of his balls. I switched often, feeling his body wanting both to be touched at the same time.

I brought the other hand from his shaft to the other, massaging both as I bobbed back and forth, scraping my teeth very lightly along the bottom. I groaned again, this time not from pleasure. It felt weird to run my teeth over his flesh, like I was doing it to stone, I didn't like putting stone near my teeth.

Edward didn't notice the difference, he was on the edge. I sucked harder, pulling as much of him in my mouth as possible.

"Bella," Edward snarled as he came into my mouth. I kept bobbing my head, knowing it made him come harder and longer.

When he was finished I pulled back, tasting his seed before swallowing. It was sweet and delicious, like no other food I could name.

I watched as Edward slowly came back into awareness. My love for him had only grown tonight; he only looked even more perfect.

"I love you," I said quietly.

Edward sat up; his golden eyes no longer hungry. They were filled with love, soft and gentle. "I love you more," he said, grinning as I rolled my eyes. He opened his arms, and offer.

I shook my head at him, smiling softly. "I need a glass of water."

I was a little unwilling to lose the taste of him from my mouth, but decided to drink after feeling the dryness in my throat.

I returned to Edward willingly, feeling a sudden bout of tiredness. All I saw was him, and crawled to him, snuggling into his chest, ignoring the bed. All that mattered was Edward, and our love for each other.

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**It took a lot of effort and embarrassment to write this chapter (the first time I've written a lemon), soI expect reviews for it. I'll update in a couple of days.**


	11. Morning

**Sorry for the wait... fortgetfullness.**

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10. Morning

I don't know what woke me up, because my body clock had to be out of whack after the flights and time changes. I guess my body just decided it had rested long enough.

It didn't take long for me to register where I was, remember where I'd been. I was still curled up on Edward's wintry chest, but a pillow had been propped under my neck. His cool chest combated the hot temperature, the sun beating on my bare back. He was better than any air conditioner, radiating coolness rather than warmth.

His arms were wrapped around me, his fingers circling over my skin. It felt wonderful. I smiled, not holding back my contented sigh. Edward probably knew I was awake already. He didn't move though, so I stayed still, perfectly happy where I was.

I felt so happy, so loved and full of love. I found I couldn't stand to have my eyes closed any longer. I needed to see Edward.

He was beautiful, skin shining in the bright sunlight. It was brighter than I'd realized, I had to blink a couple of times to adjust to the light. I didn't know the time, but it had to be late if the sun was this bright. I didn't really care what the time was.

"Good morning," I said happily, smile stretching. The motion hurt a little, stung my lips.

"Is it?" Edward's voice was harsh.

I frowned, pushing myself upright. I was surprised by the sudden soreness I felt in my muscles, I felt like I'd been sitting still too long straight after a long workout.

Edward watched me, his eyes flicking over my body. I immediately felt self-conscious at the anger and loathing in his eyes. Then I spotted my arms and gasped.

My arms were covered in bruises; purple, green, black, and blue all long their lengths. They bloomed strangely, almost looking like I'd been attacked by paint-brushes. I looked down to my torso, finding it similarly coloured.

"Tell me honestly," Edward's voice was pained and angry, angry at himself. "How badly are you hurt?"

I rolled my shoulders, tensed my muscles, feeling the pleasant soreness. I smiled at him, the stinging in my lips felt like cuts. "No broken bones, I've been worse." Like after Victoria, like after he hit me with the side of his car, like after James, this was nothing on those. This felt better than after I'd run a half-marathon in new shoes.

Edward groaned none the less, the force of his hands slapping over his eyes created a loud thud in the quiet of the island. The only other noises were the sea, the warm wind, and the tropical bird calls in the distance.

"I'm so sorry Bella," Edward moaned.

I moved my hands over his, trying to pull them away from his face. He moved them slowly, his golden eyes blazed beneath. I brought his hands to my lips, kissing each of his fingers before placing them back onto his chest. I kept my smile reassuring throughout.

"I'm fine Edward, honestly. I can handle a few bruises."

I kissed his lips, he was unresponsive. I pouted as I pulled back.

Edward eyes were still full of self-hate. "I don't care that you can heal yourself; I never should have hurt you in the first place."

I didn't remember any of last night, apart from the first time, hurting. I just remembered that each of his touches was amazing, that I wanted to be as close to him as possible, glad when he held me tighter.

"Will it help if I tell you I didn't notice at the time?"

Edward answering smile was hard and sarcastic as his next words. "You didn't notice a lot, look around."

For the first time that morning I looked away from Edward, to notice the feathers everywhere, the shredded sheets and gouges in the mattress. The bed frame was in ruins, long splinters jagged from the splits in the middle, the head board was cracked in two. The pillows had holes that leaked the feathers, the one that my head had rested on included.

I smirked at Edward. "Someone enjoyed themselves."

"This isn't funny, Bella."

"Oh I know, Esme will be furious."

"Stop making jokes."

"Stop not laughing at them! I should have put that in my vows. You must laugh at any of my jokes even if they aren't funny."

"Bella," Edward groaned.

"Edward," I copied. My groan was closer to how I sounded last night.

He was suddenly out of the bed, near the entrance. I sighed, but couldn't stop myself admiring the view. I felt him gulp as my eyes travelled slowly over him, felt the stirrings of his body as I smiled at what I saw.

"Bella, I know what you're thinking and stop thinking it."

I stepped out of the bed, walking to him.

"Why? Come on, Edward, I don't know why you're being so depressed. I know you liked it last night, and you know I did. How couldn't I? It was amazing, especially for our first try. We both knew I'd be hurt a little."

"Little…" Edward started, voiced outraged and very close to a yell, but I stopped him the easiest way I knew how, with my gift.

"Yes, little," my voice showed my growing irritation. "We both know how easily it could have been different. These," I gestured to my bruises, "are good things. Not wounds but reminders, and I like them. It's like you've marked me as yours, painted memories of last night on me."

I sighed, closing my eyes and letting myself get lost a little in those memories.

"Bella, those aren't trophies, they're bruises, marks of what the monster I am."

"No, they're marks to show the lover that you are, a good one, that didn't neglect anything." I lowered my head to kiss his chest. "Last night was the most amazing, happiest night of my life, and I love you more for it. You're overreacting, Edward, you have an inclination to do that." I nuzzled my head into his neck, sucking. "My overprotective vampire," I teased.

Edward still wasn't amused, his eyes still dark and haunted. "I'm so sorry Bella, more than you can imagine."

I groaned, moving away from him and turning my back. My irritation had grown to rage, I really wanted to hit something and I had to move away before Edward became my target. I definitely would have broken bones then. Instead I gripped one of the un-touched bed posts, wishing I was strong enough to snap it. "Fine," I yelled over my shoulder at Edward, "be miserable and stupid, because last night was perfect and you are not going to change my mind about that."

Edward's cool arms wrapped around my stomach from behind, I felt his cool lips on my hair.  
"I'm sorry Bella; I didn't mean to make you unhappy."

I huffed, but leaned back into his chest. "I'm only upset because you are."

Edward placed a painfully obvious fake smile on his lips. "Better?" he asked.

"A little," I allowed. Then I felt a pressure in my bladder, and wriggled out of his arms. "Um, can I have a few human moments, please?"

Edward nodded, smiling gently despite the darkness still in his eyes. "I suppose I should try to clean up a little," he looked towards the ruined bed; the floor was littered with feathers.

I grinned at him, happy not to be doing that work. "Have fun," I teased as I walked to the bathroom.

I bit back my gasp as I stared at my body in the full length mirror.

My lips were swollen, dry and cracked, started to bleed. There were hand shaped shadows over my cheeks, and bruises everywhere from my neck to my knees. Feather covered my body, and my hair looked like it was made of chickens. I actually laughed at myself, because as un-sexy as I looked I couldn't find it in me to be disgusted. I wasn't lying about liking the bruises, and the hair was just funny.

Edward didn't comment about my laughter. The longer I watched myself the more I noticed the subtly differences, like the light shining in my blue eyes, the smile I couldn't budge from my face, the outright glow of happiness about me.

I sighed as my bladder decided to make its needs known again.

After that I decided now would be a good time to fix my hair. I jumped into the shower, brush and expensive brand of shampoo and conditioner Alice had packed me in hand, ready to fight the battle of my hair.

It took longer than I expected, and by the time I was done two other human needs were outlined to me. I swear my stomach was growling as much as the waves outside, and my throat felt like I had taken Edward's thirst.

But I had something to take care of first. I sat down in the massive bath/floor of the shower, closing my eyes. Unlike book-Bella, I intended on making sure Edward would sleep with me again, and not in a week's time when the bruises had healed naturally. It wouldn't be as hard to convince him without the reminder of what made him not want to touch me in the first place.

I gritted my teeth, and started, concentrating on continuing the healing process rather than the slightly unpleasant hot/cold/itchy/pressure feeling that came with the healing.

It only took a second, but by the end I was panting and feeling the familiar tiredness that came with using my gift, made more prominent by the energy I'd exerted last night and the emptiness of my stomach.

Edward was still cleaning when I walked out. He kept his back to me, averting his eyes, probably not wanting to see my bruises that he wasn't aware were gone rather than giving me privacy. He'd already seen everything.

I was a little upset when I saw he'd gotten changed. He was still gorgeous in the white tee-shirt and khakis; I could just make out his back muscles.

He'd done a lot in the time it had taken me in the bathroom; all the feathers were gone, as were the ruined pillows. The torn sheets had been folded at the end of the mattress, away from the gouged areas. It seemed that was what Edward was fixing now, bending the exposed springs back into place and stuffing the ripped out foam back into the cavity.

I was tempted to just sit and watch him, but reluctantly moved to my suitcase, pulling out the skimpy underwear Alice had packed me and flowing light blue summer dress. I pulled them on there, almost wishing Edward would turn around to peak. My body mustn't have the same affect his had on me, because he didn't turn once.

"I love you," I said quietly, saddened by his ignoring.

"I love you too, Bella," he responded almost automatically.

That hurt, I walked over to him, sitting beside him and wrapping my arms around his waist.

"I love you, Edward," I said again.

He turned, gently wrapping his arms around me and sighing sadly, still not facing me. "Bella, I'm not angry at you, I'm angry at myself." I could see that in his eyes, but dwarfed know by love and concern. "I love you more than you can imagine, it's why I'm so upset at myself." His beautiful golden eyes dropped to the floor.

I moved a hand to his jaw, pulling his head down. I brushed my lips against his softly. He closed his eyes and I followed. The kiss was tender, sweet, both of us expressing our love for each other. Of course I couldn't control myself enough to keep it tender, after a few minutes the kiss turned more heated. I pulled my body closer to his side, running my tongue over his lips, begging for entrance.

That was when Edward pulled back, eyes sad. He brought his hand to my cheek, his cool touch feather light. His eyes went wide for a moment, eyes searching my skin for the bruises.

"I took care of them," I answered the question in his.

"It doesn't make what I did any less wrong." He sighed, placing both of his hands over my cheeks and stroking. "I never want to hurt you again."

"You're not going to sleep with me again here are you?"

He half-smiled, "Technically I can never sleep with you, but you're right. I will not make love to you again while you are human."

I sat straighter, pulling away from his hold. I narrowed my eyes, crossing my arms, "Challenge accepted."

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**Edward's being stubborn, but Bella is stubborn too. Let's see who wins out.**

**I'll be away next week, but I will try and update the same as I would have in that week but this week instead.**

**Reviews help me right faster *wink wink***


	12. Caves

**Just forwarning for this chapter, it's all made up. I don't know if the islands off of Rio have caves like this, but since they are islands I'm guess there was some sort of volcanic activity there. Also about the lime and seashells, I still don't know. Just believe it you want but don't take my word for fact.**

**Anyway, hope you like the chapter (even if there is a stubborn Edward in it)**

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11. Caves

I was going to get what I wanted, I wouldn't take no for an answer. But I was still annoyed at Edward for denying me in the first place, for his stupid overreaction.

So, out of spite, I made gorgonzola figs and cooked some strange vegetable in garlic butter. I ate while Edward grimaced, smirking. But other than that facial expression he outwardly showed no adverse reactions.

He suggested we go hiking, he wanted to show me some cave higher up on the island. He also suggested I brush my teeth. I huffed but obliged, my little tantrum had used up my annoyance at him. I'd gotten even. Now my mind was focused on another thing.

"Will I need to change?" I asked Edward, twirling my skirt around for him.

"Probably, Alice won't be pleased if you bring here dresses back torn or dirty."

"Kay," I said, going to my bag, leaving the washing up for him. Okay, maybe I was still a little irritated at him, and it made me feel a little petty pleasure at his grimace as he wiped away the melted cheese.

I searched through the suitcase, getting irritated as I had to rifle through so much clothing. I ended up carrying the bag to one of the cupboards and hanging up all my stuff.

"Do you want help?" Edward asked. I jumped a little, not hearing his approach.

"No, I'm fine," I smiled. Sex-withholding or not, he was still sweet and wonderful. "You can go back to sewing up the mattress."

Edward turned, walking to the mattress, when I stopped him. "Wait," I said, wrapping my arms around him. I kissed his shoulders, "I think you'll just be wasting your time." I kissed him again, sucking his lip. "We're just going to destroy it later," I whispered.

I started rubbing his back, feeling his body's response, but it seemed his mind was stronger, because he sucked in a breath, turn and caught my hands, pushing them down to my sides. "Bella," he warned.

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, yeah I know. I'll go get changed."

I quickly hung up the rest of the clothes, quickly stuffing the lingerie into the draws. I wanted those to be a surprise for Edward, but he was diligently sowing, not turning to watch me. I might have found that amusing, seeing him sew, but he did it the way he did everything, quickly and efficiently. He probably sewed way better than any granny. I'd bet anything he could probably knit too.

I grabbed the hiking clothes, keeping my face straight and walking to the bathroom. I needed to surprise him again, though I didn't know if it would work that well since he'd already seen me naked. Then again, it was my opinion that I looked better clothed, and I might as well try everything. It had only been an hour, but I could already see Edward was going to be stubborn and hard to budge.

I pulled on the tiny brown shorts and white tight tank-top. It seemed the shirt was either a size too small, or for the purpose I needed it for, because it rose up to expose half my belly button and stretched tight across my chest.

I pulled on the hiking boots and pulled my hair into a tight pony tail. I put some chap stick on my lips, not wanting them to dry out in this heat, chapped lips weren't as sexy.

When I came out Edward had finished stitching the mattress back together, and was working to unscrew the broke wooden planks of the bed frame.

"I'm ready," I called in a sing-song voice.

His face remained straight as he watched me, but I knew my outfit had some effect on him, him shaking his head at me was enough without my gift. I faked innocence, and he sighed in exasperation.

"Are we going to hike or what?" I asked impatiently.

Edward nodded; he already had his boots on. He also picked up a backpack I hadn't noticed before.

"It's got water and some snacks in it for you," he explained at my glance.

"Thanks," I moved to give him a kiss, starting to wrap my arms around him, but he very quickly moved my hands away from him, holding them in his own between us.

"Let's go, it's almost noon," Edward took my hand and lead me out.

In the daylight the forest was much more inviting, beautiful and colourful. It was warm outside, but I kept close to Edward's side and was a perfect temperature because of it.

Edward acted like a tour guide, pointing out edible and poisonous plants, animal nests, the animals themselves that hadn't yet detected Edward's presence. I forewent my plan to seduce Edward, happy for the moment to spend time with him, see the beauty he showed me.

It wasn't a very long hike to the cave, probably only a couple of miles, but the pausing and having to navigate a way passable for the human meant it took a couple of hours. I was sweating from the exertion, and noticed the way Edward averted his eyes from my torso. The white tank became more and more see through with my sweat (and because every time I took a drink out of one of the three massive bottles Edward packed I 'accidently' splashed some down my front).

The cave was pretty cool, and probably would have been more frightening without my vampire there. The opening was just large enough for him to fit through, and was dark and damp inside. He went first, holding my hand and pulling me to follow. Many times I had to crawl through opening I was sure were too small for me; I had to drag my body with my arms.

The only light was from the small torch Edward carried and the lights he had strapped to both our heads, and it was only just enough that I could see the walls and dodge before I hit my head on them. Edward's exposed skin glowed brighter than the walls, his reassuring presence banishing any irrational fright of ghosts or things jumping at me from the crevices and passages we didn't take.

I had to climb up and over a rock, and when I came back over the other side I dropped into Edward's waiting arms. I shone my light into his face; this is the closest we'd gotten since we entered the cave. His eyes were glinting with eagerness, and anticipation. His smile was almost as bright as the light on his head.

He looked perfect, as sexy as always. I was sure I looked really sexy with my dorky headlamp, covered in dust, and my ponytail messed up and loose where it had scraped against the cave walls.

"What?" I asked, referring to his smile. My voice was too loud in the cave, even though I whispered. It reverberated, echoed, my voice repeating twenty times.

In answer Edward stepped away from me, pulling something out of his bag. I heard a match strike, and saw the warm light as he held it to something. He lit something and it sparked brightly, glowing red, a flare.

It illuminated the cavern, showing what my eyes had been too dull to see. There was a pristine lake in the middle, so shallow and clear I could see the bottom. In it were bunches of shells and stones.

"This lake has been here since the island was underwater. The shells are just limestone shapes now; they disintegrate when you touch them." He illustrated this by poking one, turning it to dust and clouding the water around it. The still water rippled out from where his finger had been, taking a surprisingly long time to stop.

Then the flare went out.

I pointed my head light back to Edward just in time to see his hands move to my face, he kissed my lips, and my eyes fluttered closed. I didn't realize I'd opened my eyes when I did, because it was just as dark. Then I blinked, and realized Edward had turned my headlight off.

I frowned, moving my hand back up to the switch.

Edward cool fingers stopped it. "Just wait," he whispered.

I did, and son realized why he needed the darkness.

Because with the light you couldn't see the glow worms, their blue light shining from the roof, and the strings that hung beside them.

My eyes adjusted so that the light of the glow-worms was just enough that I could see the cave walls and the smooth surface of the lake.

"Come on," Edward whispered after a few minutes, pulling me in the direction of another opening, not the one we had come through. I followed with a sigh, taking one last look at the strangely beautiful cave.

He told me to duck once I squeezed diagonally sideways through the opening. I did as I was told; walking awkwardly until his hands led me gently down, easing me backwards until I was sitting.

"Look up," Edward instructed. I looked into the black above, seeing nothing until I heard a crack and the subtle light of a glow stick illuminated the cavern.

Then I saw what he was pointing out. On the roof of the cavern were a bunch of tiny shapes, a few turning to us, blinking wearily with massive dark eyes.

"Pigmy bats," Edward breathed in my ear. I shivered at the feel of his cool lips at my ear, and his sweet breath fanning across my face.

"They're so cute," I breathed back, even quieter. He could understand even if I couldn't hear my own voice.

"C'mon, before they smell me and get scared."

I nodded and followed Edward, his snowing form green from the glow stick.

He led me through more crooks and crannies. I didn't register the cave was slowly lightening, it happened so slowly, until it suddenly brightened substantially. Edward pulled me into the light, his skin sparkling. He wrapped his hands around my waist, gently, and pulled my body flush to his. I threw my arms around his shoulders, leaning up to kiss him. Unlike me, he was barely dusted, his hair looked artfully messed.

He allowed the kiss, showing me just as much love as I tried to convey to him, but he stopped when it grew too heated. His hands remained and my waist though, and he grinned crookedly. My heart rate accelerated, only widening his cocky smirk.

Then he jumped, leaping up to where the light source came. I screamed and giggled, the speed of his jump rushing wind over me.

He landed lightly outside the cave. It was even brighter out here, and I had to blink.

But that must have only been in contrast to the hours spent in the cave, because outside it was sunset, the cloudless sky orange and pink, the sea a similar colour. The ground underneath our feet was rocky, like the cave, the rainforest a few metres down the slope.

The hole into the cave was about three metres away, and I wondered how far down it had been, how high we jumped.

We were at the top of the island, the rainforest rolling with the shape of the island, the reefs distinguishable from the deep sea from up here.

"Wow," I breathed.

"Yeah, wow," he repeated. I turned to him, but he wasn't watching the sunset, he was watching me. He reached out a gleaming hand to touch my dusty skin. Despite the whitish-grey dust, my olive skin was glowing in the orange light.

Edward pulled me to him, one dusty hand pushing the small of my back to him, pressing my body against his. The other tangled in my hair, pushing my head to his. He leaned down, angling his head so our headlamps didn't hit each other.

I gripped my arms around his back, pressing myself even more firmly to him. I kissed him with as much passion as I could muster, jumping to wrap my legs around his waist. My hands slipped under his shirt and I ground my hips against his.

"Bella," Edward groaned, pulling back, extricating himself from my hold. "Stop testing me."

I pouted. "You started it; therefore you are the tease here."

But I could feel what I had done to him, the reaction his body had. It was starting to fuel the bulge in his pants.

"Bella," Edward groaned again, as if trying to explain through just my name.

"No, Edward, I am not going to make this easy for you. You aren't the only one in this relationship; you shouldn't be able to deny me on unreasonable, irrational terms."

"Is it irrational to keep you out of danger, to not want to hurt you?"

"Yes, because it doesn't hurt me." I stepped forward, taking his hand and placing it on my hip, pressing down on it. "I love your touch; I need it, the harder the better."

"Bella, how would you feel if our roles were reversed, would you want to hurt me?" Edward's voice was pleading, begging for me to understand.

I frowned, of course I never wanted to hurt Edward, accept for the times he was being stupid and I wanted to slap sense into him. I moved my hand to his jaw, looking into his sad golden eyes. I answered strategically. "I would give you whatever you wanted."

Edward's eyes narrowed.

I kept my face innocent.

Edward eyes moved over my head, to the setting sun. "We should go, before it gets dark."

The rainforest was different with the orange light, not more colourful, but different shades. It was also a different route, none of the things Edward had pointed out before were in order, sometimes not there at all.

Edward didn't stop as often this time, but he did stop me once, disappear for a few seconds and came back with a flower. I knew he was trying to apologise, apologise but not give me what I wanted. He placed it behind my ear, brushing a few of the loose strands from my face.

I leaned into his hand, smiling softly. I'd forgiven him for his silly notions, now I just had to change his mind.

Edward kissed my forehead before continuing, this time holding my hand along the way.

I had no idea how long we needed to continue walking, but I guessed it was longer than the walk up, as we had been almost at the top of the island. My mind quickly started wandering beyond the forest, or where to put my foot next.

I thought of what could have happened up at the peak if Edward just saw reason.

I sighed loudly, "That would have been such a good memory."

"What would have been?" Edward asked.

"Oh, it was just so gorgeous up there, so romantic, and we didn't make good use of it."

Edward's reply had the careful edge I now recognised as him trying to evade the subject of sex. "I don't think it was all that romantic, we used it well enough."

"But still it could have been so magical – your glittering skin against mine, your body, harder than the stone below, pounding…"

"Bella," Edward snapped, glaring, cutting me short.

"Oh come on, admit it, it would have made a pretty picture."

"You always make a pretty picture, Bella; you don't have to be naked for it."

"Okay, I get it. You're great for my ego."

"You're welcome," Edward smiled smugly, aware of his success in the argument. He'd won, but only for now.

I gave up for the rest of the walk, enjoying the scenery, watching as the forest gradually darkened until night fell. In the moonlight the greens turned blue, the brown and reds black, the other colours shades of grey or white. It wasn't intimidating, it was beautiful. The sounds of animals stirring become less and less often until the only sounds were our breathing, my heart beat, and our steps.

Edward pointed out a few more things: a sleeping monkey, a hidden family of birds in a cavity in a tree trunk, some edible mushrooms, and a cassava plant. I took a few leaves, and Edward broke off a root for me.

He brushed it clean with his fingers; I made him carry it all the way home.

"Do you really intend to use all this?" Edward kept switching the root from hand to hand. I refused to hold his hand while it was covered in dirt, and similarly refused to let him put it in the bag. I didn't want to do any laundry here, and it was the only backpack that wasn't a massive hiking one that I could stand inside.

"Don't underestimate how much I can eat when I'm hungry, but if I don't use it all I can always make tapioca."

"You're joking, aren't you?"

"Yes, I am not intending to spend all night in the kitchen. I already told you I'm not going to make this easy for you."

I ended up cooking a green curry, finding a food processor to grind some onions, garlic, chillies, galangal, coriander (which Edward said smelt even worse than gorgonzola), lemongrass, and adding the cassava leaves for the colour. I told him to fetch me some coconuts and a screwdriver if he hated the smell so much, but he usually didn't react so much with my cooking so I was sure he was just teasing me.

I liked having a slave, especially a super strong one – I made him de-husk the coconuts and then when I finished opening their eyes with the screwdriver, I got him to crack open the coconuts and remove the flesh.

He did the task much faster than I could; I'd only finished peeling the cassava when he asked me what to do with the flesh, if he could help.

I was thankful for the hand, and the kitchen was big enough for him to not get in my way. I wanted to be finished as soon as possible. Unlike book Bella, who was so tired at the end of each day because her energy was being sapped by a vampire-baby, I still had vigour. I intended to use that to argue my case.

I sliced the cassava thinly, along with the motley green vegetable called a bitter gourd. I removed the pith and seeds of it as the stall-holder had told me (via translation through Edward). I also used up the okra and snake beans.

Edward had finished making the coconut milk (grinding the flesh in the food processor and letting it stoop in boiled water). I left the ground up flesh in the milk and poured it into the saucepan, it was too much work to strain it.

I ended up making too much, but it tasted good, but I wished I had some soy sauce instead of just salt to add with the lime juice (squeezed by Edward) and brown sugar. It was still good enough that I ended up eating enough for two, justifying it by myself because of the hiking and the lack of rice.

I was glad when I took a shower, the water was grey at the start and I didn't realize how annoying the dirt, dust and sweat had felt on my skin until it was gone. I brushed my hair, leaving it out after giving up on other ways to make it look better.

I wanted to look good for Edward, obviously, but apart from the lacy ensemble (one of the milder ones) I had found in my bag I wasn't going to go too far. I was going to work my way up to the more garish and skimpy pieces, the one I had was white but still much less modest than the ones I had already sprung on Edward.

I wouldn't put make-up on, that would be in case Edward was very, very stubborn and I hadn't convinced him in any other way. He should want to have me for me, not dolled-up me.

I pulled on the lacy lingerie; it was basically a small set of bra and panties with an almost transparent white gown over the top.

I walked into the bedroom (we were staying in the blue bedroom now until Edward could get a new bed frame). I could feel that the gown was affecting his body, but outwardly he was calm and cool, patting the bed next to him.

"New nightwear?" he commented. "Did Alice pack you any track suit pants?"

"No, and this seemed comfortable anyway."

Edward gulped, frowning as I sat beside him. "So will this be making a regular appearance?" he gestured to my torso, while keeping his golden eyes on me.

"Most likely not, there are just so many other things Alice packed for me I'd like to try, and they're just so fine and breakable I don't think they'll last. Look," I grabbed the side of the gown and tore, ripping one side up to my hip. "See," I exclaimed. "Do you want to have a go?"

Edward growled, keeping his hands to himself by crossing his arms. "I know what you're doing, Bella, and it won't work."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

Edward paused for a minute, aware and alert for when I would try to throw myself on him. After that pause though the suspiciousness subsided, or at least was hidden, under gentleness close to concern.

"You should get some rest. You did a lot of walking today, and tomorrow I want to show you this reef on the east side of the island."

"I'm not tired," I was a little, but not sleeping tired.

"All the same, you should get some sleep, replenish yourself for tomorrow."

I clenched my jaw, biting away my sigh, trying to think of a way to – I guess there was no other way to say it – seduce him. I didn't really like the term seduction; it added darkness or wrongness to the action.

"Okay," I sighed, "but I need a goodnight's kiss."

Edward looked wary as I kneeled to the side of him, but his kiss was warm and loving and eager as normal. It was when the kiss grew too heated that he started to pull away, started being the operative word.

I wouldn't let him pull away, when he moved his head back I moved mine forward, throwing a leg over him to straddle his waist. I ran my hands under the base of his shirt, closing my eyes and listening to his body's response rather than his expression. His face was linked too closely to his mind, too well controlled; it showed him thinking this was wrong. His body responded truthfully, voicing it's wants through my gift.

Edward's hands ran under the gown, over my thigh and up to my waist. My skin warmed under them, tingling when he stroked my hipbone.

I felt the change in his arms, the tension, and only just stopped them from moving, from pulling me off of him.

I started to raise the t-shirt he was wearing, but his mouth had stopped moving against mine, his tongue pulling back into his mouth. I sighed, pulling my mouth from his and dropping my hands to my knees.

Edward made no move to throw me off of him, and I could feel his body slowly calming down. My own excitement was dropping, despite my position still sitting on his crotch.

"Bella," Edward said softly, bringing his hands to cup my face. He placed a soft kiss on my lips, very sweet and extremely controlled. "Why are you doing this? I love you. I don't want to hurt you. We were lucky I didn't hurt you more, that you survived. Do you want to risk that again?"

"Obviously," I answered. "But I guess you don't, I thought you liked it, but I guess I misread your body's responses." I let a little of my pain and sadness at being rejected show. I almost felt unwanted, like I was just annoying him.

His face was pained. He clenched his jaw and his hands, and lay back to close his eyes.

I didn't like to hurt him, make him feel guilty, but at the point the guilt-trip seemed as good of a plan as any. Maybe I was bad, too conniving. But I did what I had to get what I wanted. "It must have been such a disappointment, but I am only human. We can only hope I'll get better after the transformation." My voice was bitter and snappy.

Edward was sitting instantly, his forehead pressed against mine, his golden eyes burning fiercely. His hand held the back of my head firmly, fisting my hair. "Bella," he growled just as seriously as his eyes, "there was nothing better for me EVER than the night I spent with you. It was better than drinking human blood… well, maybe not your blood, but that's an entirely different kind of pleasure. I want to do it again every bit as much as you, but I'm more wary of the consequences. You don't understand just how much I wanted grab you, spin you around and pound…" Edward took a breath, the hand that had seized my waist relaxing. "That wouldn't have resulted well, shattered hips at the best. Please understand that I'm scared for you, scared of myself. It isn't easy controlling myself around you, especially when you're begging for it. I want to make you happy Bella. I want to give you everything you want. But I can't give you this, Bella, not when you'd be at such risk."

I was about to argue, about to snap back at him, but anger wasn't getting me anywhere. I paused, letting myself calm down, collect my thoughts.

I reached for his face, running my fingertips over his forehead, his eyebrows, down from his temple and across his jaw. Edward relaxed too, calming and leaning into my hold as rested my palm along his jaw. I stroked his cheek with my thumb, smiling sadly. "You very humble, Edward, you need to have more faith in yourself."

"And you're too trusting. You have too much faith in my control. It is very easy to slip, Bella. I feel like I'm always walking a tightrope with you."

"I'm sorry about that, I'm sorry it's hard for you. But you need to trust me as much as you need to trust yourself. I'd tell you if you're hurting me, I'd stop you if you were."

"You have too much trust in your own gift too."

"I don't think I'd be able to fling you from me or something else, but I'm sure you'd stop if I did use my gift, you'd realize you were hurting me and stop yourself."

Edward huffed, taking my waist and lifting me off of him. "Go to sleep, Bella."

I bit back a sigh, but knew that arguing further, even calmly, wasn't going to lead to anything tonight. So I settled back into the bed, under the thin sheets, and snuggled close to his side. I kissed his shoulder through his shirt. "Just remember what I said, think about it," I whispered.

I didn't see if Edward nodded, because I closed my eyes. He did start to hum my lullaby though.

I drifted off to sleep at the sound, and a thought still in my head. Tomorrow I could go out guns blazing, I would get what I wanted, what Edward wanted but would deny himself. I would make Edward give in, surrender, I would.

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**So will she make Edward surrender? This Bella is much more stubborn than book Bella, and she has her gift on her side.**

**Reviews are love, if I get... 10... I'll update tomorrow or sooner.**


	13. Kayak

**Thanks for all the amazing reviews, so here's the chapter for your love.**

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12. Kayak

I woke with a start, jolting. I noticed the body next to me, the thick muscles and long limbs. I leapt away, scrambling and falling off the bed, a silent scream at my lips.

Immediately Edward was in front of me, and my semi-conscious brain shrunk away from him, seeing another face.

I crawled backwards to the wall, bringing my legs to me and covering my face.

I didn't want to listen to him, hear his jibes and sneers as he approached, ready for the second round. His last words already rang in my mind, "No one wants you, Alexis, you're lucky that I'm doing this to you."

The worst part was how I liked it, liked the almost pain, and that disgusted me.

"Bella, Bella, what's happened? Bella, look at me Bella!"

That voice wasn't the gruff one I had expected; it was smooth as velvet and obviously very concerned.

I lifted my arm, peeking under my elbow. I was wary, worried it was trick.

But it wasn't; my Edward, gorgeous beautiful Edward, skin sparkling in the sunlight, was crouched beside me. He looked worried and anxious, his hands hovering as if they wanted to reach for me but he thought better of it.

"Edward," I whispered. My relief was plain in my voice. Then I sobbed, jumping forward and grasping him, clutching his waist and burying my face in to his chest. His arms wrapped around me, forming a protective shell in which I could cry.

I calmed quickly, Edward's comforting whispers quickly wiping the memory of the dream from my mind. It had been so vivid, I had felt every touch and pain; like I was revisiting the night I'd had with Edward, except it wasn't Edward taking my body.

I hadn't dreamt of Logan in weeks. I couldn't wait until I became a vampire and my human thoughts dissipated, I wouldn't mind losing any memories of my first boyfriend. The memory of him was like a ghost, haunting me, and I wanted it exorcised.

"Nightmare," Edward guessed after I had stilled in his arms. "Was it bad?"

I nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I took a deep breath. I was being silly, Logan could never touch me, and if he did I could probably hurt him more than he could hurt me. "No, it was silly. It just felt really real, like it was actually happening." I shuddered.

"It's okay, Bella, you're here now. You know I'd never let anyone, anything touch you."

"Yeah," I laughed darkly, "including yourself."

"Really," Edward rose and eyebrow, "awake not five minutes and we're already back onto this subject?"

"Yep," I popped the p, before smacking a kiss on his cheek.

"You're impossible."

"Yes, and you love me for it."

"No, I'm pretty sure I love you _despite_ it."

"Well, there's a heart-warming notion," I muttered. Edward chuckled. I turned to him, grinning. "So what's on the agenda for today? You know, the bed in the other room is pretty much beyond repair, we might as well break it properly."

"Actually, it was snorkelling. If you're lucky you might even get to swim with some dolphins."

I frowned, but inside I was excited. As much as I wished to seduce Edward, I did want to spend time on the island. I'd always wanted to swim with dolphins, and if the beauty of the island was any comparison then the reef would be amazing.

"Okay, but what's the time?"

"It's only quarter to seven. We'll have plenty of time to do things today."

"Fine, you get whatever we'll need and I'll go get some grub."

Once I started eating I realized just how hungry I was. I ate all the leftover curry, in too much of a hurry to even warm it up. It tasted good cold anyway.

Edward walked in as I was washing up. "You should get changed into something you can swim in. I'll finish cleaning up."

"Do you like touching food scraps?" I joked, but moved eagerly away from the sink.

I noticed Edward's eyes abruptly snap up, and realized I was still wearing the gauzy white lingerie. I smirked.

Edward coughed. "I'm just in a hurry; there is a lot I want you to see."

"You mean a lot you want me to do to tire me out."

"Am I that transparent?"

"Apparently not, otherwise I would have found your weakness already."

Edward rolled his eyes, smiling crookedly. "Hurry up and get changed… and brush your teeth… and your hair… and you should probably wash the sleep out of your eyes."

"Any other compliments you wish to bestow?"

"And you should do something about that pimple on your nose."

I gasped, flinging my hand over my face and feeling for a bump. I felt nothing, but I ran to the bathroom, outraged to get a pimple on my honeymoon of all places. My skin was always clear, why would it choose now to act up.

The mirror showed the truth, my blemish free nose. I heard Edward guffawing from the kitchen and glared into the mirror.

I stormed to my closet grabbing a handful of bikinis, and marched back into the bathroom, ignoring Edward's renewed laughter.

I scrubbed my teeth, my cheeks, my tongue, washing away any traces of the curry. Then I brushed my hair, pulling it into a tight plait. It made sure my hair wouldn't knot in the ocean. I washed my face (I did have sleep in my eyes).

I stripped off the lingerie, and faced the pile of bikinis. I grinned when I saw a bright red one, pulling it on and smiling at the result. The colour was as bright as the clothing was small, but the tininess of it was helpful today.

I came out of the bathroom, and once again had the satisfaction of seeing Edward's eyes widen, feel his body's response until his mind controlled it. "You look… don't you want to cover up a little? You wouldn't want to get sunburnt."

"Do we have any sunscreen?" Edward tossed me a bottle, more wariness on his face. I squirted the sunscreen on my hand, slapping it onto my chest, stomach and back. "Edward, could you help rub it in?"

Edward clenched his jaw, but moved behind me, rubbing it into my back. I didn't like sunscreen, it was greasy and oily, but I'd take it any day for the feel of Edward's cool hands massaging my back.

It affected him like it affected me, so I decided to up the ante. I rubbed the sunscreen across my chest, down to the exposed skin of my breasts. I heard Edward gulp over my shoulder.

"Help with my stomach," I whispered, leaning back into him.

Edward stepped forward, his chest flush to my back, his hands travelling from my hips to my ribs. I wished his hands would travel higher. I moaned a little, turning my head to kiss at his neck.

Edward sighed, stepping back. His voice was deeper and huskier when he spoke, "It's all rubbed in."

I didn't hide my disappointment. For a moment I thought he'd given in, that I'd finally gotten through to him.

"Thanks," I said, voice wavering a little.

Edward smiled apologetically. "C'mon, it's a long walk," he held his hand out to me.

I took it, pulling myself close to his side.

888

The walk wasn't that long. Or maybe I was too enthralled by the beauty of the place and Edward to take a good guess at the distance. The sand was white and gorgeous, very soft under my toes. The forest beckoned with bright colours to one side, the clear blue sea calling on the other.

And Edward was gorgeous because, well, he always was. He was a wonderful addition to the perfect scenery, the perfect man for the perfect beach on the perfect island,

Most of the time we didn't need to talk, just enjoyed that walk silently. But all the conversations we did strike up were very safe, Edward steering clear of any subjects I could turn into sexual innuendo.

Most of his questions were of me and my enjoyment about a subject. He seemed to really want to make me happy, going even further than usual to please me because he had denied me one thing. It was okay with me, if he wanted to do thing for me then I wouldn't stop him.

I had wanted to test how far he had gone, and – after a few minutes of once again silence – I ran from the compacted wet sand near the shore, to the soft dry, white sand, to one of the many coconuts that littered the sandy floor.

I had picked one up, holding it to my air and shaking, hearing the sloshy sound of the coconut milk still inside. That indicated you could still eat it, that it hadn't rotted on the sand.

"Are you hungry? I could open that for you." Edward was just as eager to please as before.

"No, not now," I had replied slowly, a hint of asking in the words. Edward frowned warily again, thinking this was the signs of more would-be-seduction. I quickly kept talking. "But I love fresh coconuts so much, and you can't get them in Forks. Look at all these coconuts going to waste here, sitting on the sand and rotting."

Edward's guarded expression dropped, turning into a crooked smile. "So, you want me to collect all the still okay coconuts that have fallen off the tree."

I pouted, nodding. Edward sighed in feigned exasperation, his smile ruining the allusion as much as the happy glinting in his eyes.

"But not now," I had said when he kneeled down, looking like he would pick up the coconut nearest him. "I want to go snorkelling. Wait," I had commanded, holding up my hands and tilting my head. "You aren't going to scare the fish away, are you?"

"I will frighten some of them, not all of them. They normally just act like I'm a shark, and most of the fish stay in the reef when a shark passes by – it's the schools that are likely to leave. I can keep my distance if you'd like."

"No, well… maybe when the dolphins are there." I grinned sheepishly, a little guilty at wanting him to stay away however short a time.

"That's okay," Edward had stood and offered his hand. He spun me to the side, arm extended to the ocean, "because they're right out there."

The pod wasn't far from the shore, always with at least one blue-grey back arching out of the water, proudly displaying their large fin.

Edward stood on the shore, watching as I swam slowly, carefully, to the dolphins. I didn't want to scare them, and suddenly wished I had something to feed them with. The bribe of fish might convince them in staying.

They noticed me quickly, I could see through the bulky snorkel on my face. Edward had put it on me with a dangerously close to relieved expression on his face. Was the opposite of a turn-on a turn-off?

The dolphins were remarkably curious, and after swimming back a little one approached. It was pretty big, it looked about my size. It still looked very cute, and I held out my hand like I would if I were approaching a dog that didn't know me.

The dolphin edged forward, cautiously butting its smooth nose against my hand. I rubbed it gently, more dolphins moved forward.

I really wished Edward could experience this with me, swimming with the dolphins. But they were only so playful, diving under me and occasionally, because they were sure I posed no threat. So I enjoyed the almost puppy-like personality of the sea-going-mammals alone.

I chased them vainly, or duck dived under them, irritated when I had to go back to the surface and blow the water out of the snorkel before gasping in a breath. The dolphins seemed to tease me when I did, one even leapt over me, the strange staccato chirping noise they made continuing all the while.

One of the dolphins, it was impossible to tell one from another, even let me hug him, and with only a beat of his tail shot through the water, me clinging to its dorsal fin. Of course I fell off quickly; I couldn't imagine how strong they must be to travel so. The other dolphins had followed, and quickly started playing again, each demanding my attention, trying to battle with the other.

I surprised when they all suddenly left, speeding away from me, tails flapping behind. I whipped around to see Edward sitting on the seabed, a cloud of sand in the water around him, grinning up at me.

I grinned back. He was just as beautiful underwater; his usually unruly bronze locks now flow in unison with the subtle waves and the movements of his head. His skin still sparkled underwater, unevenly though, as the sunlight was broken into patterns by the surface of the sea.

I dived down to meet him, and he met me half way. I pulled the snorkel off my face with one hand, grabbing his shoulder and pulling me to him with the other. I crushed my lips to his, letting no gaps be made so when I opened my mouth all I was met with was Edward's sweet breath. I inhaled it; it was as breathable as normal air. He didn't use the oxygen.

Of course Edward's breath only lasted me about a minute, and then I had to push myself roughly from him and swim frantically to the surface. Edward quickly aided me, and I was out of the water in a heartbeat, gasping in the air.

"Maybe we should save the kissing to less oxygen deprived areas?" Edward suggested, teasing.

"I don't know, sometimes suffocation is worth it," I grinned, still panting a little.

Edward chuckled, shaking his head. "I'll be glad when you're changed, it's things like that that worry me."

"Edward, trust me, I am not suicidal. I have far too much to live for, to live forever for."

The reef was beautiful; the only problem was the lack of fish. Yes, the fish were there, the small ones and a few of the large, but they all hung around the coral, never straying, ready to swim into the cover of the holes in the coral. But it didn't bother me; it just meant I had to duck under the water to peak under the edges of the coral.

I felt very safe with Edward there in the water, that irrational fear that a sea monster or a dead body would come out from the depths to snag me gone. It wasn't usually that debilitating, but now I could easily pass over a dark cavern in the water, or float above the reef edge.

One thing I was worried about was the coral itself, the bikini covered no skin and the coral was very sharp. But, thankfully, I didn't cut myself by the time Edward informed me the tide was dropping too low for my snorkelling to continue.

"So, what's next?" I asked, pulling the snorkel off my face and flexing the muscles that had been restrained. Edward laughed at the faces that resulted, I giggled with him.

When Edward calmed, he answered. "What do you want to do? There's a sea cave I'd love to show you, a waterfall in the forest. We could visit the parrots before they go off to sleep. I know a place where some porpoises visit, though you've already swam with the dolphins today. We have some open-faced kayaks somewhere. There's this massive fig tree…"

I stopped him before he kept suggesting ideas, one had already appealed to me more than the others. Well, not more, I'd love to do everything he said, just not right now. I didn't know the time, but judging by the angle of the shadows it was later than the brightness suggested.

"I want to go kayaking," I said quickly.

Edward smiled, wrapping his arms around me and kissing my cheek. "Wait here," he instructed, and was gone in the next breath. I sighed, lying on the sandy ground and sighing. I prodded my skin with a finger, counting to three. The white mark the pressure left disappeared after two and a half seconds; I was a touch sun-burnt. I did feel a little too warm.

Oh well, I might as well get a tan before I'd be foregoing my skin-colour forever. I was resigned in my inevitable paleness, it wasn't much to lose – purple probably wouldn't look as good on me anymore. Then again, Alice and Rosalie looked good in pretty much any colour, maybe I should look forward to it.

Then Edward was back, carrying two sea kayaks as long as him as if they were pillows. He chucked them to the ground with two double-sided oars.

"Which one, blue or yellow?" he asked.

I took the blue, and Edward set me up, pushing me off into the calm sea, beside me in barely a second. We paddled to the edge of the reef, Edward leading me to the closest gap in the reef. We travelled half way around the island, easily battling the gentle current. The sea was so clear I could almost always see down to the bottom, even if it were metres deep.

I was right about the late hour, because soon the sun was setting, and the water below changed from blue to orange, pink, and yellow. Edward didn't tell me to go in, so I stayed out there, barely paddling, content to sit and enjoy the beauty of the sunset and the island as if slowly turned to night.

The water became more reflective at night, and it soon felt like I was sitting atop a black sheet capped with white reflections. It cooled a little – I noticed the heat more with Edward separated from me by a metre or so of ocean.

"Can we go back?" I asked Edward. I was very hungry and a little bit upset by the distance. I missed holding his hand, being held by him.

"Whatever you want, Bella, but may I try something?" His grin was mischievous and glowing in the moonlight.

"Sure," I answered, a little warily. I trusted Edward, but I had a nagging suspicion that he was going to capsize me.

Edward placed his oar in the holder and jumped out of the boat. He let it float and swam to me; he'd be able to catch it easily. He was faster than the dolphins, and much, much faster than the tide and current.

"What are you doing?" I asked when he was right beside me, smirking out of the water.

"You'll see."

And then he ducked under the water. I immediately put the oar in its holder; wanting my hands free in case I abrup0tly had to swim. But that wasn't what happened; he didn't tip the boat over. He did something much scarier, but much more fun as well.

He pushed my kayak. The little boat was streaming to the shore, faster than a jet ski. My now dry hair whipped around my face, some strands streaming into my squealing mouth. It was like the descending parts of a rollercoaster, except this was horizontal. I didn't know whether Edward was swimming under it, and that's the speed he swam, or was just so strong that all this speed came from one push, him flinging the boat to the shore from underneath.

What I did know was the sandy shore was amazingly fast approaching, and I very much hoped I wouldn't crash. My hands were clenched so tightly on the boat's sides that my knuckles hurt, and air that rushed past my face stole my scream.

I didn't crash onto the shore. The slope was low enough that when the water ended and the sand began, the boat simply slid up onto the shore, losing enough speed from the resistance to stop me just before I would've crashed into the palms lining the forest edge.

Exulted giggles burst from my lips. My heart was racing from the adrenaline, and I felt strangely tired and energetic all at once.

"Did you enjoy that?" Edward whispered from behind me.

I didn't jump. I didn't think I'd ever get used to him popping out of nowhere, but it didn't surprise me nearly as much. I turned instead, swinging my legs out of the kayak and tackling him with a kiss.

Edward chuckled against my lips. I didn't let him pull away, moving my lips to his jaw when I did need to breathe. "I'll take that as a yes," he said.

I nodded against his skin, nose running along his cheek.

"You needn't thank me _this_ much."

I pulled my head back, still crushing my body to his in a death grip. "Is it strange if I say I missed you?"

"Yes, you were with me all day."

"Let me rephrase that," I said, kissing his neck and hugging him impossibly tighter. "I missed your touch. I missed hugging you. I missed kissing you. I missed your scent." I inhaled deeply in emphasis. I'd never get used to how good he smelt.

I moved one arm away from him, to my back where his hands rested. I pulled it away, so I could twine my fingers through it. "I missed holding your hand."

"I know what you mean," Edward whispered back, liquid gold eyes swimming.

I kissed him again, harder this time. I felt him start to pull back, step away, but clung to him harder, removing my hand from his to throw it around his neck.

"Please don't," I begged. "I can't take the distance, Edward."

"Bella," Edward said deeply, gently but warningly, like a father to a child about to do something they weren't allowed to.

"No," I said fiercely, glaring into his eyes. I pressed my hands more firmly to the exposed skin of his back, my gift doing my bidding as easily as any other muscle. I used it to make his body feel exactly like mine did right now – I spurred the already strong needs of his body to be as strong as mine were. Edward gasped, arms tightening around me. "Edward I need you, but I want you to need me too."

All of Edward's muscles were tensing; he was trying to fight what I made him feel. "Bella," he forced through his teeth. "You know the consequences."

"In this case, the positives weigh up far more than the negatives."

Edward stayed still, his face torn, eyes agonized.

"Edward, please," I begged, clutching at him tighter, maintaining what I was doing to him.

He closed his eyes, groaned in defeat, and finally surrendered, crushing his lips to mine.

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**And that's me cutting it off *grins***

**Anyway, review guys and I'll update as soon as I get back.**


	14. Given In

**Okay, this chapter is short, and I'm sorry you guys had to wait so long for a short chapter, but I'll update soon.**

**That's about it... read on!**

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13. Given in

I stopped using my gift to heighten his desires; because they were already heightening beyond the levels I had pushed them. My own need for Edward was strengthening. I couldn't get myself close enough to him.

Then Edward hands were at the top of my thighs, and he hoisted me up onto him so my hips aligned with his. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling myself closer to the hard lump in his board-shorts. I aligned myself with it, grinding while I kissed him, seeking any kind of friction.

Edward growled. I heard a tearing, and the now irritating fabric of my bikini was no longer separating me from Edward. I crushed my chest to his, feeling the hard planes of his torso against mine. Edward's shorts soon followed my swimwear, and there was nothing separating us.

Before I could get even closer, make us one again, Edward lowered me to the ground, the smooth sand against my back. I stretched to keep my lips on his, continue the battle of our tongues. His smell, his taste, the feel of his body hovering over mine, was sending me into overdrive.

I pulled my hips up to his, needing him inside me. I was hot and throbbing with need, searching for something to quench the fire.

Edward's hands only added wood to the fire, one hand running down my stomach, moving sideways to my hip when I desperately wanted it to go _down_. I was panting between kiss, clutching and scratching at his back.

"Edward, _please,_" I yelled, begging.

He moved his hands to my legs, spreading my thighs. My skin warmed and sparked where he touched, nerves tingling. I duplicated the feeling in Edward's body, and he snarled against my lips. I kissed him harder, moving and hand to fist in his wet hair, pulling.

Edward lifted his head way from mine, gripping my hips softly. He aligned himself with my entrance; I gasped and moaned as his head slid along my slick folds. Edward grit his teeth, and very carefully pushed himself into me. I moaned and groaned, writhing under him. The stretch, fullness, and contrast of his massive cold length sheathed in my hot centre felt indescribably amazing. I clenched around him, tensing and raising my hips as he slowly pulled back.

"I can't do it, Bella," Edward's voice was deep and thick with need, but the pain in it made me want to do anything for him. "I'll hurt you," he continued. "Please, Bella, you do it."

I smiled, pulling his head to mine and kissing him in answer. I rolled us around, so he was the one on the sand, lowering myself onto him. He groaned with me. I felt his bodies need for me as I pulled away, crouching over him.

I slid my hands to his shoulders, pulling him up. "Kneel," I commanded, my voice as husky as his had been.

In a fraction as a second he was, and I wrapped my arms around him, crashing my mouth to his. I adjusted my crouch, raised my hips before plunging myself onto him, my yell muffled against his mouth. I repeated the motion, groaning and yelling in between kisses. Edward seemed to maintain a steady growl, the timbre rising and falling with my movements.

Each touch, each feeling, each inhale only builded the heated pressure in my abdomen, fuelled the close-to-painful reaction in my gut. I listened to Edward's body just as much as mine, feeling which ways he liked me to move best. He was just as close as me, both of us on the edge of the cliff that would send us both spiralling into pleasure.

Edward's hands explored my body, running over the outside of my thighs, across my hips, up across my back and ribs. The tingling heat blooming up from under his hands travelled to the pressure inside me. I was holding myself back, clinging to the precipice, knowing every second I held it off would bring more pleasure to both of us.

But then Edward's hands went to my chest, long fingers massaging my breasts, and I couldn't hold it off any longer. The pressure inside me unravelled, sending sparks of heat through my veins, setting the most amazing fire to all my nerve endings. I couldn't think, or do anything. All my muscles convulsed unconsciously, and I couldn't hear my scream of Edward's name.

It took a while for me to be able to notice anything besides the after-effects of my own orgasm. The first thing I did become aware of was Edward too riding out his orgasm. I was collapsed over him, and he was leaning against me, his head on my shoulder, his unnecessary panting rivalling the volume of mine.

I did come down from the high, but I was sure I was still a few metres above ground. I felt too happy, too amazing to truly be on ground level.

"I love you," I whispered, kissing Edward's neck.

"I love you too," Edward whispered back, cupping my cheek and turning my head to kiss my lips. The kiss was soft, gentle, loving, and was much more g-rated than our current position.

Then my stomach grumbled, and Edward chuckled, "Feeding time for the human."

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**Questions, theories, feed-back, a smiley face, I'd really love anything, so review!**


	15. Phone Call

**I'm a little sad guys, only two people are reviewing. I know that the last chapter was short but, well, if you think my writing is getting bad and that's why you've stopped reviewing, please tell me. I can't improve if no one points it out.**

**Anyway, this is the last chapter of the honeymoon, so read on!**

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14. Phone Call

I was standing in the kitchen, chopping up some of the tropical fruits and vegetables for my dinner, smirking the whole while.

I'd made Edward give in and it only took two days. Book-Bella had taken a week. Understandably, I did have a few advantages she hadn't had, all coming from my gift. Still, it made me feel good that I had even more proof that I was better than book-Bella.

Speaking of my gift, and convincing Edward, I felt a few sore areas. I peered back out into the night, very quickly checking to see Edward wasn't about to walk back in. I didn't want him to see me heal myself (I wasn't sure if it was obvious when I did it or not). If he knew I was healing something, he would know he'd hurt me and he might become closed up again.

I didn't care about the pain, the bruises, and I certainly didn't feel anything bad from his touch. I probably wouldn't notice a broken bone.

Edward wasn't about to come in. I'd left him to put the kayaks back, and do something about the scraps of clothes across the sand. I hadn't realized how close we'd been to the home. I hadn't really noticed anything but Edward when it came right down to it.

That was only about a minute ago, and I was still as naked as I had been when I'd walked back, feeling not vulnerable by my lack of clothing but empowered.

Edward would have to be done by now, I was surprised he wasn't back already. I quickly healed what I suspected as bruises on my hips and thighs. I gritted my teeth to stop myself gasping from the healing feeling.

Then Edward was back, standing in front of me, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. Despite his seriousness I allowed myself a long gawk of his body. He was as unclothed as me, and so gorgeous he made the star-filled sky, moonlit forest and sand look ugly in comparison. It made me want to vault over the kitchen bench separating us and attack him.

Instead I put the knife in my hand down, away from me, and placed my hands on the cool marble bench.

"How much trouble am I in?" I asked.

"Heaps," Edward said, and the seriousness dropped as a breathtaking smirk crossed his face. His eyes were happy, but still held a little of the exasperation and accusation. He looked a little like a human who knew someone had stolen a cookie from their plate that they weren't intending on eating in the first place.

I waited for a few moments. It looked like Edward wanted me to talk first, but I wanted to know how he was feeling first. So I went back to chopping and peeling. I felt Edward's eyes on me the whole while, but wouldn't look up. I knew he'd crack first; I just had to be patient.

He did, just before I was finished making my almost-fruit-salad.

"You cheated," he said.

I looked up, raising an eyebrow. "How did I cheat?"

"Don't pretend you don't know. As if it wasn't hard enough to resist you, then you had to turn my own body against me."

"But that isn't cheating, we never established any rules. All I said was that I wasn't going to make it easy for you."

Edward chuckled. "Yeah, okay, I'll give you that."

"Will I have to cheat again soon? Or will you finally realize there's no harm in what we just did." Edward didn't need to worry about the minor bruises I'd just healed. If they didn't matter to me they certainly didn't need to matter to him.

"I think I've already come to that realization. It was a little easier this time, knowing what to expect. It was easier to channel the excesses, though it may have been better if there was something other than sand to grip onto."

I grinned at him. "Well, there's a bed I know of that's already so damaged. Why don't we put it out of its misery? Practice makes perfect."

Edward laughed, reaching out to cup my face. "That sounds very appealing, but why don't you finish your meal first?"

"Procrastinator," I muttered, but started eating.

"That would imply it's something I _don't _enjoy."

I narrowed my eyes, swallowing a bite of wax apple. "Teaser," I accused.

"Seductress," he countered with a crooked grin.

I stuck my tongue out. He'd see exactly how much of a seductress I could be tonight. Practice will make perfect.

888

The days flew by. It was not that they were rushed, or short. No, they were full and enjoyed. I tried to crystallize every second into my memory; every time Edward and I touched, each of our nights, every adventure during the day, every conversation.

I didn't really care how long we'd been here, or how long we could stay. All the tropical fruits and vegetables had long been used up (all the exercise I did sure gave me an appetite). The cleaning crew more often came to deliver food than clean. So far I hadn't even seen them.

I was enjoying as much of being human as I could while I still could. I relished every flavour, trying to commit it to memory so I'll still be able to recall the tastes as a vampire. I slept long into the morning each day, happy to dream while I could. I hadn't had a nightmare since the Logan one, as if my subconscious wanted to enjoy the pleasant impossibilities of dreams as much as I did.

I also took advantage of adrenaline, knowing soon that being scared and feeling the rush that came from it would near be impossibility. Vampires weren't scared, why would you be when nothing but other vampires and werewolves can harm you? So, to Edward's dismay sometimes, I tried to do everything I'd wanted. I slid down a waterfall on the island. I'd gone rock-climbing and abseiling (strange how much equipment the Cullens had in the house). I'd ridden on a jet ski and waterskiing, both at shore (Edward needed to hunt despite me taking his thirst). Edward almost had a vampire heart attack when I told him how many times I fallen off or almost crashed into something while he was gone. He'd be very glad when I wasn't so fragile.

I was sure he already wished I wasn't fragile for one reason. The bed in the white room was literally pulverised, and the one in the blue room was close too. I didn't care; I hadn't needed to heal a bruise since our second time. Edward was much better with practice – not just at not injuring me – and I knew I was too. I could read Edward's body almost like a book, so of course the sex was good.

The whole honeymoon felt like a dream, an amazing dream that I never wanted to wake from. I felt apart from the world, from any of my troubles. Even in Rio, though I'd only been back to land once, I still felt apart from the world. I guess I kind of was. I held an aura of bliss and happiness so strong I was almost surprised people I passed didn't break out into dance. I was almost surprised I didn't break into to dance for that matter.

Maybe it was because I promised to Edward not to dance in front of anyone.

I grinned at that. I was currently wading in the water, half basking in the glorious sunlight, half peering into the crystal clear water. I stood as still as possible, hoping to be still enough that the school of fish I'd seen would return. Crumbs also littered the water to try and attract the sea life.

Edward was watching on shore, I knew he still wore the amused expression he had when I'd last turned. I'd feel the change in his face muscles. We were waiting for the tide to change; Edward wanted to take me to some sea caves. I was half eager half annoyed, because Edward refused to take torches. Apparently one part would be lit up by a hole in the roof, but the swim there would be pitch-black. Edward didn't like me taking dangerous risks, but still liked to scare me. He hadn't kept back that there were eels, I wished he had.

"Bella, I hope you don't intend on standing out there for hours. The tide will change in two. Come inside, you're getting burnt."

My skin had obtained an even darker olive over the past week and how many days. I'd gotten sunburnt all but every day, if not severely. Edward's cool skin was a good remedy though.

I sighed, scaring a brave fish when I moved back to shore. I walked slowly, admiring the view of Edward's glittering form. Edward's eyes to swept up and down my form, across the skimpy white bikini, down my legs before returning to my face. I was glad that he liked what he saw, even if I was only human. I was pretty for a human, but I still couldn't wait to be as gorgeous as a vampire. I was vainly hoping I would be prettier than Izzy.

Vainly and unnecessarily, Edward was mine, not hers. Being here, on my honeymoon, proved that. Still, when I was close I leapt onto Edward, attacking him with a kiss.

Edward chuckled when I broke for air. "It's a little too early for that, isn't it?"

I knew what he was referring to, and smirked. His body was calling for it as much as mine. We did have some hours to kill, but then I probably wouldn't stop for the caves, or stop until I was too tired to go swimming. I lost a lot of sleep at night, that's why I slept in so late.

"I can't kiss you now without wanting sex?" I asked, mocking.

"No, but when you kiss me like _that _it often leads to more."

"Is that a bad thing?" I breathed into his ear, sucking on his earlobe.

"Bella," Edward growled, his hands moving to grip my ribs. I wished his hands were a little closer to my front, a little higher, bikini top or no. "Are you sure you want to do this now?"

I huffed, pouting, and then rolled my eyes at myself. "You're right. C'mon, let's watch a movie. I think a few titles caught my eye."

888

We watched the new Pirates of the Caribbean, 'Dead Man's Chest'. Well, it was new here, new now. I'd very quickly accommodated to the years difference to when I'd left my home and arrived here. It wasn't that different, really. A little less technology and social media, it was better actually.

I wanted to watch the movie, I really did. I loved the pirates of the Caribbean. Honestly, Johnny Depp's amazing acting couldn't hold me for long. When I'd last seen the movies I thought Johnny Depp was hot as a pirate, now he was belittled by the god-like form of my husband.

His golden eyes held mine, but he chuckled at some of the joke lines in the movie I had missed. "You're missing the movie," he had said a few minutes in, that was about half an hour ago. I hadn't listened or cared at the statement. I'd watch the movie later, maybe in a year if need be, I had better things to do with my time.

We kissed slowly, warmly, sweetly. There wasn't the heat that would result in me jumping his bones. It was the kind of kiss that melted my insides, made me want to sigh in contentment, made me feel so loved that I swear I glowed from happiness.

So I almost swore when our kiss was broken by a phone call. Instead I groaned against Edward's mouth, scowling. He laughed at my expression, lifting me off of him. I'd all but crawled onto his lap in the kissing. Maybe it was more heated than I thought it was.

"You know," Edward said, over the annoying sound of the ringing mobile. "It is technically lunch time, even though you only woke up a couple of hours ago. Why don't you go make yourself something to eat?"

"Are you making fun of my sleeping habits? You know I have to get sleep some time, since I don't get that much at night." I grinned at him.

He chuckled, the phone kept on droning.

"And if I eat I can't swim," I added.

"Well, maybe there's something else you can do as exercise."

I took a step towards him, drawn by the sudden smouldering in his eyes, the familiar need in his body. The phone rang again. I muttered angrily as it broke me from the trance. Edward rolled his eyes.

"They better have a good reason for interrupting," I just heard Edward mutter as he walked out of the room. My smile rose again, I wasn't the only eager one.

I walked lazily into the kitchen, opening the fridge and sighing. I wasn't very hungry, and the things that did look good for a snack probably weren't great for my plan of the rest of the afternoon. Edward didn't mind too much if my breath smelt, but it wasn't ideal for him, and certainly not a turn on.

I grabbed the dwindling packet of snow peas, deciding to go healthy rather than calorie full. I didn't want to put on weight before the transformation, I still didn't know what it would do to fat and I certainly didn't want an eternal roll of flab on my belly.

Edward was back after a few seconds. I frowned at the look on his face, confused, worried, and wide eyed. His phone was open in his hand, down at his thigh. His brow furrowed as mine did.

"What's wrong?" I asked, suddenly worried myself. What would make him look like this? I wasn't pregnant was I? I was infertile, but that was all I could think would make him like this. That was what made him like that in the books. Or was it something worse, but probably more probable, the Volturi.

"Edward, answer me!" I commanded, trying to break his stupor.

"Something's wrong with Rosalie," he said quietly, worried but disbelieving.

"What is it?"

"Carlisle doesn't know, but Rosalie's certain something is wrong. I don't know if she's lying, but I thoroughly doubt she would do that. It isn't like her to miss me and try and get me home sooner." The bitter edge in his voice contradicted the worry.

"They want us to come home?"

Edward nodded. "They, Rosalie and Carlisle, want you to come back and check. Carlisle's instruments won't work through vampire skin..."

"And my gift does," I finished.

I ground my teeth, chasing away the selfish thoughts that wanted to stay here, didn't want to leave. Rosalie needed me, and though she wasn't my favourite Cullen, and I certainly wasn't her favourite family member, I would go to help her. I wanted her to like me, and maybe helping her would do that.

But what was wrong with her? What could possibly happen to a vampire that needed medical attention? Was there some kind of vampire sickness? It could be possible, just a lot harder to infect a vampire than a human.

I couldn't think of the Cullens without Rosalie, without Emmett, because if Edward was anything to go by vampires didn't fare well after losing their mates.

No, that was the worst case scenario. I shouldn't think it's deadly, shouldn't think it's serious. Maybe she is missing Edward, maybe there's nothing wrong.

Still I helped Edward pack – he moved amazingly quickly, his face unmoving in his speculative worry. He was probably trying to puzzle out what could possibly be wrong with a vampire as much as I was. More actually, puzzling made me worry and I was trying to stay calm – trying very hard but failing. I didn't hate Rosalie, she was my sister now. I felt sorry for her, sorry she felt jealous of me, sorry she couldn't be human, have children, grow old. I felt sorry for her end in life, for her bitterness, and I understood her vanity – I was probably close in that department, or would be soon after the change.

My mind imagined Rosalie's gorgeous face sick, drawn, ill. What was wrong with her? Why did Carlisle need equipment, even though it didn't work? Did she break a bone, or suddenly get appendicitis? Could vampires get cancer? You could get cancer from the sun and you didn't need to be burnt to get it.

My lip was starting to get rubbed raw from my teeth. I forced my mouth to close properly, gritting my teeth to keep from biting my cheek. I wanted to clench my fists, but that would keep me from throwing my clothes into my bag. I was too worried to fold, it took too much time.

What if what Rosalie had was contagious? Immediately I was assaulted by images of Alice, of Esme, of Emmett, Jasper and Carlisle sick. I felt my eyes start to sting, a lone tear dripping from my eye.

"Are you finished?" Edward's velvet voice was soft, gentle.

He'd seen the tear, and his cool finger reached out to brush it off my cheek before it fell to the ground. I smiled sadly, as another tear replaced the last.

"Everything will be okay, Bella." He didn't sound as though he believed it himself, just more reassuring to me. "There's some misunderstanding, maybe she drank some diseased rat."

My responding laughter was more hysterical and choked. Edward wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close and kissing my temple. "We'll go there, and you can go do your thing, and everything will be fine."

I nodded quickly, hugging him tightly. I laughed and rolled my eyes at myself, "Since when am I an easy crier?"

"I guess that's one advantage of being a vampire."

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to the lack of swollen eyes and snot."

Edward's laugh lacked force or humour. He was still worried about his sister. He kissed my hair before releasing me. "Could you take the bags out to the boat? I'm going to have to get us a flight."

I nodded mechanically, grabbing two of my bags. Alice had packed far too much. Oh I hoped it was not contagious, I couldn't stand to lose Alice especially.

I walked as quickly as I could, but I still only made two journeys before Edward was done. He grabbed the rest of the bags in one hand, and my waist in the other. Human speed wasn't fast enough. He ran me to the boat, and I had barely sat down before we were speeding away.

Edward's worry, his need to get there fast, only fuelled my own worry.

_God, I hope it's just a misunderstanding, please let nothing be wrong!_

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**So, any guesses to what's happening at home at Forks?**

**Review guys!**


	16. Book 2: Preface

**Here's book two, Jacob's point of view. So, do you think the plot has changed? What's happened to Rose? Will Jacob imprint or not? Actually, I haven't finished writing thsoe parts so maybe. If you have suggestions I might use them.**

**Anyway, onto the book.**

**Read on!**

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**Book 2: Jacob**

Preface

_Life sucks, and then you die._

Yeah, I should be so lucky.

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**Bahahaha, you knew I'd do that! Don't worry, I'll update the actual chapter imediately. I just had to do it.**

**Review to yell at me if you want.**


	17. Waiting for the fight to start already

**Here's the first chapter in Jacob's point of view. Not very different I think, oh well.**

**Read on!**

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15. Waiting for the damn fight to start already

Paul's grating guffaw of a laugh echoed from my house, it broke my focus. Well, not focus really, more a daze.

I was out patrolling, which was where I was mostly these days. It was better to keep busy, to keep occupied. It kept my mind off _her._ It was much easier as a wolf, to let my human mind be overtaken by the animal. I let instinct take over, just living in the moment; eating when hungry, drinking when thirsty, sleeping when tired, and running. They were simple desires, simple answers to those desires. Pain came in easily managed forms, the pain of hunger, the pain of thick branches hitting flesh, the pain of jagged rocks under paws. Each pain had a simple answer, a way to stop the pain.

Not like being human.

Another bout of laughter broke the trance again. I huffed loudly, growling.

Why did it have to be my sister who was imprinted on? Why did it have to be Paul who imprinted on her?

And why the hell did he always have to hang around _my _house? Rachel wasn't even there! Shouldn't he be crawling behind her, tail wagging at the possibility of a pat? He should go an act like all the other imprints, pining after every word, watching her all goo-goo-eyed.

He should _NOT_ be sitting in my house, watching my crappy TV, and by the sound of it eating my chips.

Stupid wolf hearing, stupid Sam for making me patrol near my house.

_Why don't you take a break then? _The alpha in question suggested. It was easy to forget I had an audience sometimes. But there were always eavesdroppers when I was a wolf.

_You were the one spying on Paul, _Jared thought.

_He's the one breaking into my home. I should call Charlie, he'd side with me._

It'd give the chief of police something to do, other than Embry's mom.

_Ew, man, not necessary! _Embry was patrolling now too; guess I was out of it.

_I'm your replacement, _Embry said. _You really should have a break; you've been out for 24 hours. Go kick Paul out. _

I sighed mentally, but the idea was appealing. I quickly phased back to human, glad for the privacy of my own thoughts for a little while.

Of course it was harder to be instinctual on two legs, harder to keep my mind off blue eyes as I pulled my shorts on. Everything reminded me of her, even these cut-offs. It reminded me of her inquiring whether I went commando, of her almost prudishness and pleasure when she made me blush. It reminded me of that victorious smirk, of her smile, of her full lips that I'd had far too little chances to taste.

I clenched my fists, snarling. No, apparently those lips liked to kiss a rock more than me. Anger, pain and rejection flooded back into me, their familiarity entirely NOT comforting. I smashed a nearby branch that blocked my path off a tree. It felt good despite the pain in my fist. The shredded knuckles healed in the next second.

I followed the annoying donkey laugh back to my house. It wasn't the loudest sound in La Push, but I could easily zero in on it over the noise of the highway. I wanted to smash his damn jaw shut, maybe dislocate it. That might shut him up for a while. Probably only a few seconds though. Wolf healing sucked sometimes.

Still, blowing off some steam sounded good about now. A good snarling, biting fight was just what I needed.

"Hey Jake," Paul called as I walked in. He didn't have to see me; he could smell me as soon as I walked in the door. That reminded me, I hadn't showered in a couple of days.

I glared at him in reply. He didn't even turn his head, just kept watching some old sitcom, stuffing Doritos into his mouth. He looked entirely too at home here.

"You better have brought those with you."

"Nope," he said, grinning, dropping crumbs onto the couch. "You're sister said I could go ahead and help myself to anything I wanted."

"Rachel's not here now."

He heard the threat in the words, moving the chip packet behind his back and bringing his fists up like a boxer. "Bring it, kid. I don't need Rachel to protect me."

"Paul, get off your high and mighty imprinted chair. I'm older than you. You're the baby who'd use my sister to get out of a fight."

Paul laughed, settling back into the sofa, smashing the chip packet behind him. "As if, and I'd never tattle to a girl. If you got in a lucky hit, that would just be between the two of us, and vice versa right?"

It was nice of him to give me an invitation. I slouched, pretending to give up, "Yeah."

He fished out the chip packet, so sure I'd stopped.

His nose made a satisfying crunch as my fist smashed its side. Teach him to be so damn relaxed. I grabbed the chip packet with my free hand, dancing back before he could grab me. I dangled the chips in front of me, smirking. I was egging him on for a fight, and for a second I thought I'd get it from the flash of anger in his eyes.

"You broke my nose, idiot!"

"Just between us right, Paul?"

He groaned, hands going to his face. I moved to put the chip packet away, hearing the click as he repositioned his nose back into place before it could heal.

"Really, you're changing it back? I swear it looked better a few more degrees left."

Paul's face now trickled blood that was seemingly without source. It kind of looked like a nervous nosebleed. But Paul was way too cocky to ever get one of those.

"God, Jacob, you're such a pain. I swear I'd rather hang out with Leah."

"Aw, Leah will be touched that you want to spend time with here. I'm sure it'll just warm the cockles of her heart."

"You're going to forget that I said that," Paul growled.

"Of course, but it might just slip out. Maybe you should give it a hand, whack it out of my head."

Paul sighed, leaning back onto the couch. "Picking fights isn't going to make it any better, you know."

This time I was the one to groan. Of course he knew what I was doing, what I was thinking. Everyone in the pack had pretty much unlimited access to my head. It sucked that I was still transparent as a human.

Imprinting sucked. I used to always be able to count on Paul for a fight. You didn't have to hit him, an insult would do. Now he was all mellow and calm, guess unchosen and will removing love did that to a guy.

I stalked off, muttering angrily. I slammed the door of my room, and belly-flopped onto my bed. This room reminded me of her. She'd made it for me, paid for it too. She was concerned for me, didn't like how small my old room had been. I was wondering how much that had been out of love now, maybe I'd just been a dog to her, a pet. Sure, she loved me, but not romantically. It probably hadn't even been her money too; my new bed was probably funded by the limitless amount of leech money.

I groaned more, stuffing my head into the pillow. How long could I survive without air? Would suffocating actually kill me, or just knock me out for a little while. Either option sounded appealing right now, to get away from the pain, the anger and annoyance.

But I couldn't hold my breath that long. My traitorous neck turned to the side, and I gasped in a breath. I was pretty tired anyway; I hadn't slept for a while. Mostly because as soon as I closed my eyes I saw her, saw blue eyes, olive skin, full deep pink lips stretched into a warm smile.

For once I didn't fight the pictures. They were pleasant enough, as long as I didn't think of that fact that she wasn't mine. That brought pain, pain without cure.

I fell asleep soon enough, thankfully tired enough not to dream. If I dreamt I'd dream of her, and lately those dreams either showed her dead, or laughing at me, eyes blood red.

But when I did wake up there were consequences to the lack of mental control. Being human does that, those hornets of stinging thoughts creep up on you. Nope, no warning buzz, they're just suddenly there, stinging my head, or rather my heart, sappy as it sounded.

It was thoughts of Bella that plagued me, but not how unattainable she was, not how much I wanted her and wished she'd have chosen me. I'd long surpassed fantasies of how my life with her could've turned out. They were rare and not as nice as they sounded.

I'd thought of Bella and me together, getting married, having kids, but that was my mind being stupid. It was as fictional as it was unachievable. I knew Bella; I knew she didn't like to be held down. She would go off on a whim, fluttering from one thing to the next. She wouldn't be barefoot and pregnant, cooking in my kitchen. She'd told me she was infertile, and she was far too adventurous for children, and impatient.

Maybe that's why I didn't imprint on her. She was a poor breeding choice, if Sam's logic was anything to go by. You couldn't make a stronger wolf if you couldn't have one, though Bella sure was strong and tough enough to have made a feisty wolf, a wolverine.

No, fantasies were stupid and painful; better to think of the plausible, of what had to be coming soon.

I was sick of the waiting. It'd been four weeks. I was sure the news would've come by now.

Charlie would've called Billy, sobbing or furious, most likely both. There'd be an accident, a plane crash, a fire, a car crash, an explosion, something the body couldn't be shown after, or identified. Poor Edward and Bella, died on their honeymoon, lives taken before they could begin. Or maybe it'd be a family function, the sudden death of them all, maybe a house fire. Bodies burnt beyond even dental recognition, the doctor could probably raid a morgue if they were too 'vegetarian' to find some humans the right size.

Or maybe they'd just up and leave, never to be heard from again. That'd make it hard for me, hard to find them, to get revenge, because either way this could go I'd want to kill them.

Either Bella would become one of them, or die before she could. I don't know which one I'd prefer. Was it better to know my love had the life sucked out of her, became and evil monster I was designed to kill? Or was it better to know she'd been killed on her honeymoon, smashed in the bloodsucker's quest to get some, because Bella's wellbeing was less important than his pleasure. I hoped he'd at least been shocked or hurt by Bella, I knew she could at least do that.

My fists clenched, and I felt myself shaking. I forced myself to calm down, wouldn't want to ruin the bed. Might be better without the reminder of her though, but I know she spent a lot on it. How she got all the money was beyond me, though I still doubted it was legitimately.

I guess I'd never be able to find out how she did get that money. It's funny how the small, unimportant things can hurt so much.

I hated knowing I could find the answer now, just a few miles away. I hated knowing I was doing nothing; we were doing nothing, just sitting on our butts. I hated the waiting, the boredom, just waiting for the news of which option the Cullens had taken – killed or changed Bella. Both ways, the treaty had been broken, and I could take my revenge.

But no one seemed to care, or at least not nearly as much as me. The pack should be just as eager for the inevitable fight ahead, we should be practicing. But no, we just kept patrolling. Sam wouldn't let me go over to check. He knew I'd pick the fight, but it was coming anyway – why not start it early?

Maybe Sam was getting soft, or bought in to the leeches' ruse of innocence. They claimed they didn't hurt anyone; already they had hurt Bella, and would much more. A human life would have been lost, if it wasn't already. The treaty should be void!

I jumped a foot when from the other room the sound of Paul's loud yawn.

He was still here, really! I don't know when I'd gotten to sleep, probably some time after 4p.m., and my alarm greenly glowed that it was about 3 a.m. I mean, it was one thing to be here in the daytime, but no way was he sleeping over. If him and Rachel wanted to do the dirty they could bloody well go and do it in his house. I didn't like to think about that much, neither did my Dad, but I'm sure neither of us would allow it.

My stomach growled loudly. My thoughts had been too dark and controlling to notice how starving I was. I pulled myself out of the bed, groaning.

When I went into the main room I had every intention of swearing or threatening Paul until he left, and then going to stuff my face. But of course my sister was there, clinging to his side, running her fingers over his arm.

I think I hurled a little.

They both looked seconds from sleep, the TV screen was off but the DVD player was paused.

I tiptoed out to the kitchen. Neither noticed me, too wrapped up in their imprint bubbles to notice anything else at the late hour.

I ate some left-over pizza cold, the microwave would wake them up, or Paul at least. I chugged down a bottle of half drunk soda. Then I grabbed a pen, and proceeded to draw on Paul's face while he slept.

He snored loudly, and his breath stank, but it was worth it to see the scribbled glasses, the bad words, and the penis outlined in permanent marker.

I grinned as I tiptoed out of the house.

It was pretty outside, but familiar. It was too common to hold my attention. The blue, white and grey forest wouldn't take my thoughts off Bella. Nothing could really, nothing but trying to lose all human thoughts.

I decided it was worth the intrusion of any of my patrolling pack members to try the only temporary solution to my problem.

Phasing was simple, easy, natural. I didn't need to be angry any longer, and anger didn't bring the change anymore. Anger and calm were emotions I could control, too bad pain and love weren't.

_Hey man, _Quil's mental voice called as I phased. Embry was there too, listening. Both were along the borders, pretty far from me. Pretty far meaning it'd take a couple of minutes to reach them running, but they were probably both as far from me as possible while still being in La Push borders.

_We're trying to avoid your stink!_ Embry called, Quil barked a laugh, almost tripping in the lapse of concentration.

I ran towards the border, unofficially joining the patrolling. Sam didn't really assign me too many hours nowadays, because I was almost always out of my own volition.

_Man, you really should get a life, _Quil thought, with that irritating sympathy that the pack adopted when they thought about my life. Well, every brother; Leah was still as snarky as ever.

_No man, she's actually nicer to you, despite what you think. She understands your situation. She was in pretty much the same position as you are now._

_Does that mean I'm gonna end up like her?_

_Don't be so mean. You haven't exactly been a ray of sunshine lately._

_It's hard to be nice when she acts like she does. You think if I woke her up she'd be angry enough to fight me? _I really could use a fight.

Their answering thoughts were pretty much just wordless exasperation.

_You're right; she'd be too easy to beat. Any of you guys up for a round?_

_Man, go chase a squirrel if you want to let off some steam. I'm not risking my hide, _Quil thought.

_I get it, _I sighed, hot breath creating a cloud of fog from my nose that quickly disappeared behind me. Running fast was a good way to let off steam too. _How's Claire? Is the little monster finally sleeping normal hours?_

Quil was basically Claire's babysitter, which was good for Claire's mum but unlucky for Quil. He had to endure every scheme the little two year old could come up with.

_She's almost three now, and I don't endure them._

No, Quil enjoyed it just as much as the toddler. Imprinted wolves were always happy if their imprints were. As abused a nanny as Quil was, he acted as if it was his idea of fun in the first place.

_Dressing up as princesses is pretty fun, _Quil remembered the last time with his imprint, where she'd forced a tiara onto his head and a pink scarf. He remembered it, her face, with emotion akin to thinking of his mum mixed with a much loved puppy. There was nothing romantic about their relationship, thankfully, that would come later. Quil was lucky he never aged, he had a long wait.

_Quil, you ever think about dating? _

Quil's answer - and Embry's almost as powerfully - was just shocked silence. Quil tripped over a root, Embry narrowly dodged a tree.

_I'm sure she'd understand when she's older that you had a life when she was in diapers._

Quil was quiet, his thoughts flurrying. I gave him a few seconds to think, just focusing on my own surroundings than trying to hear his thoughts. It was hard to ignore, but both me and Embry were trying.

_Sorry man, I shouldn't have said anything,_ I said after a few minutes.

_Nah, it's okay, it just took me by surprise. I never thought about it. I just, I can't imagine. I can't think that way, see anyone that way. I ... I don't see their faces._

I gave a mental version of a nod. I understood. I understood all too well. I never saw anyone else. I couldn't think of anyone but Bella. Well, I could, but most of those images involved a Cullen, and my teeth around the life-sucking leech's neck.

Quil and Embry ignored my thoughts of breaking the treaty, and I in turn ignored their thoughts. Eventually my mind slipped into the wolf, into the animalistic simplicity that was so numbing and relieving.

The wolf didn't notice time, only noticed as it became day and the sun slowly rose to its peak in the cloudy sky. The wolf didn't care of the rain, too warm to be bothered by the cool drops.

I was disappointed when the reverie was broken by a howl. I came back to my senses, to myself, to realize I hadn't noticed that Quil and Embry had left, had been replaced by Colin and Brady and Sam.

But then I heard their thoughts, or snippets of them, and realized maybe this was more than a patrol.

Sam was calling for everyone to meet. I ran in the direction of his thoughts, hearing more of my brothers' thoughts as they phased.

_And sister, _Leah thought, always sensitive.

None of us did see her as a guy; she was far too bitchy for that.

_Technically, I am a female dog._

_Whatever, Leah, _arguing would only make me lose my resolve to _not _fight her.

_Hey, if you ever want to blow off some steam I'm always willing to kick your butt._

_As if, _Leah would be as easy to beat as her brother, even if you fought more ruthlessly. The only thing Leah could claim was being the fastest and that only slightly.

_SLIGHTLY, _Leah scoffed in her thoughts, remembering the margin at which she'd beaten me last time we raced.

_Can it, _Sam yelled. _Where are Paul and Jared?_

_Paul's still probably at my place, eating my food, _I had a quick recollection of breaking his nose. Most of the pack found humour in that; Sam's thoughts were more disappointed. _He'd have heard though._

_Jared is at Kim's, _Embry answered the other half of Sam's question. _Good chance he didn't hear you._

There was a collective mental groan from the pack. When Jared finally showed up, no doubt his thoughts would still be on his imprint and no one wanted a reply of what they were up to now.

Sam sat back throwing his head skywards with another howl, a signal and an order in one.

_We're not waiting all day for him, he'll have to catch up later, _Sam said.

I sped towards them, Leah was close behind me. She noticed and run faster, determined to overtake me, to claim her right as the fastest.

_Eat my dust, kid, _she sung as she moved in beside me, despite how I too dug into the ground. For a while we were even, running side by side, both desperate to get the lead. Leah one out though, just before we got to the others.

_Beatcha again, _she thought smugly, dropping to her haunches.

_You just don't have as much weight to pull around._

_Give it a rest guys, _Sam thought.

Paul phased, I forced myself not to get irritated by his presence, or think smugly about the punch. I liked Paul much more when he wasn't imprinted on my sister.

_What's up boss?_ He thought.

_Seth, tell them what you heard._

I was out of it, I hadn't realized Seth had phased before this meeting.

_Charlie called around until he found Billy at my house._

I felt a jolt run through me as Seth thought Charlie's name. This was it, what I'd been waiting for, what we all had been waiting for. My lungs felt tight.

What story would it be?

_So he's all flipped out. Guess Edward and Bella got home last week, and..._

So she was alive, or back at least. I was surprised by how much difference that made. It shouldn't matter, because I knew what would come next.

_Yeah bro and here's the bad news. Charlie talked to her, said she sounded bad. She told him she's sick. Carlisle got on and told Charlie that Bella had caught some contagious disease in South America, said she's quarantined. Charlie's going crazy 'cause even he's not allowed to see her. He says he doesn't care if he gets sick, but Carlisle wouldn't bend. He said one of his kids even caught it, and he doesn't want to risk anyone else getting it. He told Charlie it's getting pretty serious, and he's doing everything he can. Charlie's been stewing about it for days, but he only called Billy now. He said she sounded worse today, real weak dopey._

The mental silence after Seth finished was profound. We all understood.

Bella would die of this disease as far as Charlie knew. Maybe Carlisle's kid would too, and the doctor would be so grief stricken he'd move his whole family. Would they let Charlie see the corpse, the pale, perfectly still, unbreathing white body? They'd have to wait until she could sit still, not attack any human that came by her. Would he notice the change in her face? Bella was sure the transformation into a rock made you more beautiful.

Would they bury her, and then wait for her to dig herself up? Cremation wasn't an option, a vampire wouldn't survive that.

The others listened to my thoughts, my speculation, in silence. I'd thought about this much more than them. I'd gone over every detail and all the anger from each thought was flowing into me now.

I wondered why I was the only one standing. My hackles were raised, muscles tensed. I was ready to go, to rip and tear the enemies that I now knew had taken my love's life. We had evidence now, the treaty was broken.

_Well, what are we waiting for? _I asked.

No one said anything; wordless thoughts of hesitation were my only answer.

_Oh come on! The treaty's broken._

_We have no proof, maybe she is sick..._

_OH PLEASE!_

_Okay, so the evidence is pretty strong, _Seth's thought came slowly, carefully. _Still, Jacob, are you sure this is what you want? Is it really the right thing? We all know what she wanted._

_The treaty doesn't mention anything about the victim's preferences._

_Is she really a victim? Would you label her that way?_

_YES!_

_Jake, _Seth thought, _they aren't our enemies._

_Yes they are! All the vegetarian crap is bullshit. They're vampires, Seth, and they're in our territory. We take them out._

_So what are you going to do when Bella fights with them, huh? _

_She's not Bella anymore._

_You gonna be the one to take her down?_

I couldn't stop myself wincing.

_No, you're not; you're going to make one of us do it and hold a grudge against them forever._

_I wouldn't..._

_Sure you won't, _Seth's voice stung with sarcasm. _You're not ready for this fight, Jacob._

I growled at Seth.

Jared's mental voice suddenly joined us, his lovey-dovey attitude dropping quickly as he took in the mood.

_Dang, what'd I miss? _

_We're getting ready to go, _I told him.

_Shut up, Jacob, we've decided nothing yet._

Jared was quickly filled in. I growled at the alpha.

_Jacob, we need to think about what's best for the pack. I have to choose the course that protects you all best. Times have changed since the treaty was made. I... well; I honestly don't believe the Cullens are a danger to us, to the humans. And we know they won't be here much longer. Surely once they disappear our lives will go back to normal._

_Normal? _It wasn't normal for me to be a wolf, to be this broken.

_If we challenge them, Jacob, they will defend themselves well. _

_Are you afraid?_

_Are you ready to lose a brother? Or a sister, _he added as an afterthought.

_I'm not afraid to die._

_I know that Jake, that's why I question your judgement on this. They're powerful Jake, and if what Bella told you was true, that powers get stronger after they change, well... _Sam's thought trailed to what he knew Bella could do, what he'd seen and heard of. _We might be too evenly matched._

_Coward, _I thought.

_You're overruled, Jacob! The pack will not attack the Cullens without provocation. The treaty is intact. They are not a danger to our people, or the people of Forks. Bella Swan made an informed choice and we are not going to punish our former allies for her choice._

I felt the weight of his command, of his alpha voice, and crushed the growl forming in my chest. I let out a heavy breath, turning my back and loping away.

_Jacob, where are you going?_

_To tell my dad goodbye, I can't stay in this town anymore._

The pack had heard my thoughts of running away before, of going beast and running to Canada or somewhere along the like. Maybe I'd swim across the Pacific, fight a couple of sharks or whatever. The only thing that had kept me here was Bella's words, her order for me to not run away, like she was some psychic (because the leech psychic couldn't see us). Those words didn't really count now, because Bella wasn't here to keep them.

Bella was dead to me.

I kept my thoughts on the wolf, on being the animal, letting my other thoughts leave me... until I was in jogging distance of my house.

I quickly phased to human, needing the privacy of my own thoughts. Because I wasn't planning on leaving, at least not to go wolf – I was planning something else.

No, the pack wouldn't attack the Cullens today, but I would.

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**Reviews are better than drink me potion, cheshire cat smiles, caucas races, shisha smoking caterpillars, and white roses painted red.**


	18. I really didn't see that one coming

**Firstly, sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry for not updating. I forgot. Sorry.**

**Secondly, no reviews, really? None at all, not even a kick up the ass to remind me to update? Oh well, you guys know now that no reviews means slower updates because of a sadder, less eager author.**

**Anyway, I didn't update for a while, and I'm sorry for that, but this chapter is as long as two normal ones so hopefully that counts for something.**

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16. I really didn't see that coming

I didn't really want to say goodbye to my dad. After all, one quick call to Sam would be all that was needed to stop me. The guys couldn't really force me to stop, but they could force me to phase and then I would be helpless to Sam's will.

But he was there when I went home, waiting, knowing what I'd be like after I heard to news. He was smiling, but there was tightness to it, and his eyes were serious. My Dad wasn't usually serious, but when he was it always seemed to involve me. He always knew, or guessed, too much.

I didn't want to say goodbye to my dad, didn't want to think about what losing my life would really entail. Because I'd be stupid to think I'd be able to take _all _of the Cullens. I wonder if my death would be enough provocation for Sam - probably not, wouldn't want to lose his leech friends for a suicidal wolf.

I walked quickly to my garage; hoping dad wouldn't do anything, say anything. Of course, I wasn't that lucky.

"Jake," he called. "Got a minute?"

I skidded to a stop, biting back a sigh, but didn't move towards him.

"I need your help," now I could tell he wanted me to stay.

"You haven't needed my help since you lost your status as a cripple."

"And I didn't even need your help then," he grinned. Dad was always stubborn, smug, and as independent as possible. Losing the use of his legs had been a real blow to him, but he refused to forego his freedom and stay indoors.

Everything was easier now – because of her. It'd be easier if I could hate her, hate her for breaking my heart. I couldn't hate her though, all the things she'd done in kindness stopped that, even if the bad outweighed the good.

While distracted with thoughts of Bella I had unconsciously followed Dad inside. I guess saying goodbye to him would be a good thing, closure or whatever. It still hurt to think that this might be the last time I saw him, and then I'd have to piss-bolt before Sam found out. The goodbye would be a neon sign.

Rachel wasn't here, so no goodbye to her other than me drawing on her boyfriend's face while she dribbled on his shirt.

It didn't make me more eager to go to the Cullens. A thought of Bella, of what they had done to her, would be all I needed to fuel my resolve.

"So what is it that requires my expertise?" I asked.

He frowned for a second, his eyes searching the room until they stopped onto a shelf. "Reach that box for me, my back's feeling terrible today."

My eyes narrowed, I could tell he'd made that up on the spot. I retrieved the box anyway, seeing a bunch of old school trophies me, Rachel and Rebecca had achieved over the years. I smiled at my old shot-put medal, if I competed now I could probably throw 40 metres easy. I couldn't compete in sports now, even if I hadn't all-but dropped out of school.

"Feeling sentimental?" I asked my father.

He spotted the contents of the box and nodded quickly. He walked to the fridge, almost all the wobbliness had gone. His legs were still pretty skinny, but he was slowly building back the muscle. He wouldn't be able to run for a while, and would probably fall over if anyone leaned on him, but the speed of his 'miraculous' recovery was amazing. He still astounded doctors, we'd had some phone calls from specialists wanting to understand and recreate the miracle.

They would never understand, never be able to replicate Bella's gift. I wondered if her gift was stronger now, if she'd use it as a weapon.

She wouldn't be my Bella; she'd attack me just as soon as any of the other wolves. I had to remember that, remember not to pause. Maybe the transformation into a leech would change her face enough so I wouldn't recognise it. It'd be easier to pretend to kill a stranger. But it wasn't Bella – even as a vampire – that I wanted to kill. It was the leech she loved.

"Jake, are you listening?" Dad broke my thoughts.

"Huh?"

"I asked if there was any food."

"Well, Paul's been here, so probably not."

"We'll have to start hiding the groceries if we're gonna avoid starvation."

"Tell Rachel to go stay at his place."

Dad's joking tone vanished. "We've only had her a few weeks. The girl's were older than you when your mother died; it's harder for them to be in this house."

"Yeah, I know." It still didn't make Paul any less irritating. Well, maybe I wouldn't have to deal with him much longer.

I really should stop thinking about it, about the end. Maybe I could escape, kill one and come back for the others. I could wait for them to expose themselves, pick them off one by one. Thinking about that, the brighter side, made me even more eager.

"Well, I'm going to go and work on some ...stuff." I hoped my eagerness didn't show in my voice. I needed to get to the garage, grab my bike, and speed out of here.

"Wait," Dad said, wheeling from the fridge and losing balance in the sudden turn. He stumbled forward, steadying himself with my shoulder. It took more force than my Dad's weight to make me stumble back. "Aren't you going to tell me what happened? Or do I have to call Sam for an update?"

"Nothing happened. The pack's giving them a bye. Guess we're all a bunch of leech-lovers now."

"Jake..."

"I don't want to talk about it."

My dad stared at me for a few moments. I didn't move, tense, ready to go but unwilling to. He didn't bar my way physically, but he seemed to hold me back with his gaze.

"Are you leaving son?" Of course Seth would've told him about my thoughts – Paul too probably. Paul's all mellow and caring now, still annoying as anything but.

"Maybe, somewhere..."

"Do you have any place in mind?" He must have seen the gleam in my eyes – Dad noticed too much sometimes ... like Bella.

"No," I answered too slowly.

He knew. "Jake, let Bella and the Cullens be. She made her choice, honour it."

I frowned at him for a moment, unwilling to listen to his words. Then I took two long strides, and disconnected the phone, taking the cord into my pocket.

"Bye Dad."

"Jake..." he started.

But I was already running.

He wasn't in a wheel chair now. It wouldn't take him long to reach somewhere with a phone, and then call Sam. I had to move quickly.

I all but threw my motorbike onto the road. I kicked it to a start, and was pelting along the road in less than a minute. I disregarded the speed limit. I didn't have time to abide the law. I got a few fingers and honks, but I ignored them as well. I wasn't even worried about the police – they wouldn't catch up.

No, what I did worry about was crashing. It wouldn't kill me, but it'd slow me down. It'd break a bunch of bones, and the major ones took days to heal. I had minutes, not days, to get out of La Push, out of territory where Sam could force me to stop.

I didn't slow, didn't touch the brake until I was almost on the narrow drive. I figured I was safe then – Sam couldn't come into leech territory.

It wasn't until then – until I was sure I had made it – that I really thought about what I would do. I didn't have surprise on my side – if they couldn't hear me already the mind-reading leech would. He'd know my plan as soon as I thought it.

It was a colossal task to take them all on – like trying to rid the world of all vampires. They had numbers and strength. But then again, it was only one of the Cullens that I had beef with. I was pretty sure I'd still get to fight him though – I had his ego on my side. He'd want to fight me alone – and if he didn't I'd just play around the edges until he did. I was faster than any vampire – I could run if they ganged up on me.

Or maybe I'd just walk into their house – see Sam's precious evidence that Bella was a vampire, and challenge Edward to a duel. That's what they did in his time, didn't they? I didn't have a leather glove to slap him with – maybe a tree branch would work.

I hoped he was honourable enough to go one on one with me. Maybe I was having too much faith in the leech.

I kept waiting for one to jump out at me from behind a tree. I rode slowly down the drive, eyes flickering to each side. What would happen to my bike if I phased on it? Would I get caught? Would it slow me down enough for the vampire's to be able to kill me?

I was surprised when their colossal mansion came out of the trees and I hadn't been attacked. Maybe they would fight fair.

I inhaled in relief, and immediately wished I hadn't. I almost steered the bike into a tree in my sudden haste to cover my nose. The vampire smell reeked – like too much perfume, toffee, and flowers. It was far too strong for my all too sensitive nose – especially undiluted by human smells like at the wedding.

I grimaced, deciding it'd be best to breathe through my mouth.

No one was waiting on the porch. I don't know if I expected it or not. I also didn't know what they were waiting for. Of course they knew I was here. Were they keeping Bella inside, holding her off from the scent of my blood?

I didn't care if she was a ravenous newborn. I cut the engine of my bike, leaning it against a tree before jogging to the front door. I could hear voices, more like murmurs, inside. I heard my name, and grinned. At least I was causing them a little stress.

I rapped on the door, loudly, and was about to barge in – a locked door wasn't much of an obstacle – when the door opened. I was disappointed to see the doctor's face. If there was one of the Cullens that I didn't want to kill, it'd be the doctor. He was just so...human I guess. Maybe it was just because he helped fix me up after that newborn knocked me around.

"Hello Jacob, how are you?" The doctor's face was grave. He looked really worried. It made me feel guilty.

"I heard Bella made it back alive." My voice was hard – thoughts of Bella made it hard not to snarl.

"Er... Jacob, now's not the best time." The doctor seemed uncomfortable, but not in the way I expected. "Could we do this another time?"

I stared at him, dumbfounded. He wanted to postpone the fight for a more convenient time?

And then I heard a voice – the voice I hated the most, and I was all but charging. Only the doctor barred my way, and I would knock him down.

Edward spoke quickly, quietly – the way he would to any supernatural creature that didn't need the volume and slowness humans did to understand. "No, we have to let him in. He could help, he could convince her."

"Excuse me," I mumbled quickly to the doctor. He stepped to the side, eyes tight. It went against my nature to turn my back to a vampire, but if there was any Cullen I could trust it would be their kind-hearted leader. Bella had told me he never liked fighting – he'd probably barely defend himself if it meant hurting his attacker.

Another voice sounded as I walked down the entryway – a hissing female voice. "She doesn't want or need to be convinced – she's chosen. Send the dog away."

I turned a corner, and abruptly the conversation stopped. My eyes found my most hated enemy first – spotted his angry face, open mouth. He was just about to spit a reply at whoever had spoken. My presence stopped him, and his face changed, eyes flicking down to the couch.

I'd seen Edward angry, I'd seen him smug, I'd seen him irritated, and I'd seen him worried. I had never seen him like this.

He looked like a man being tortured, his expression unmasked from the anguish he felt. He ran a hand roughly through his hair. I thought for a moment he would pull a chunk out. His eyes were black and shone with pain, his jaw gritted and his mouth pulled down into a grimace that just seemed to be able to withhold a yell.

There was only one thing that could make him look like that.

I ran into the room, not caring about all the tense vampires that were scattered about, most angling towards me. I only cared about moving to where I could see what he gazed upon, what was sitting obscured by the back of the white couch.

I saw her at the same time as I caught her scent – her clean, warm human scent.

I didn't see the rest of the room then – my eyes were only for her, travelling over every exposed part of her. I hadn't thought I would see her human ever again. For a while I thought I never see her period – that he'd killed her accidently on their honeymoon. So now I stared, unashamed, trying to take her all in, memorize the shape of her face, the colour of her eyes, her hair, and her skin.

It took a few moments before I noticed something wrong about her. She did look sick – her skin looked tighter, her bones more prominent, and the olive tone looked pinker and was covered in a sheen of sweat. Her hair was frizzy and knotted, stuck together in lumps around her face and neck, clumped with dried and new sweat.

But the scariest part, and the part that made the least sense to me, was her eyes.

I was glad to hear her racing heartbeat – because her eyes, her face, looked dead. My own heart thudded painfully. She looked like a zombie, like a shell. She looked like a vegetable, eyes staring unfocused ahead, barely blinking.

I couldn't voice the question on my lips, my thoughts were frazzled. All I could do was wheel my eyes around the room, trying to find something that would make me understand.

Bella was covered in a blanket, sitting on the coach beside the blonde leech. That was just as confusing – Bella had told me they didn't get along, that the blonde didn't like her. But now they were sharing the seat, sharing a blanket (why would a vampire need a blanket?) and Bella was clutching the vampire's wrist with her skeletal-like fingers.

The blonde glared up at me, her hatred burning from her golden eyes. I had to admit, she was beautiful, but she stared at me like I was a particularly large cockroach she didn't want to dirty her boot on.

The blonde's hair too was pulled into a messy bun, but with her un-knot-able hair it looked styled. She wore a shirt that was far too big for her, falling off her narrow shoulders.

Bella looked sick, and in a weird way so did the blonde. But vampires couldn't get sick... could they?

"They aren't sick," Edward said, answering my thoughts. "Well, they don't have any physical disease."

The blonde (Rosalie?) whipped her head around to turn her glare onto Edward. "Bella and I are both as mentally sound as always!" She turned back, raising a rand to stroke Bella's head. Bella didn't respond, didn't seem to notice.

"What is happening?" I was finally able to shout. Nothing made sense!

All the vampires winced at the volume, unused to loud noises.

My shout did more than shock their eardrums. Bella's vacant eyes blinked once, twice. Her glassy eyes became focused, and her neck turned. A sigh escaped her dry, chapped lips – it sounded like she was choking.

She closed her eyes, brow pulling down into a tired, pained frown. "Water please," she rasped.

One of the vampires ran, and I didn't even flinch. She – the fake mother one – was back in a second, a glass in her hand, offering it to Bella. Bella's dry lips pulled into a smile, and she removed a hand from Rosalie's arm to take the glass. Her arm shook a little as she brought it to her mouth. The mother leech's hand hovered below the glass, ready to steady Bella's hold or catch the glass if it was needed.

Just as she took a slip her eyes moved up, and she saw me. Her grip faltered, she almost dropped the glass. Her eyes widened, and a smile broke out onto her face. It tugged at my heart, she was still beautiful. "I thought I heard your voice," her voice was a little less rough, which meant she still sounded like she was about to break into a coughing fit. "I thought I was imagining it. I thought I wouldn't be able to see you for years. I'm glad you're here, Jake."

My legs carried me forward; I didn't realize it until the blonde hissed.

"Rose, please," Bella said. The blonde frowned deeper, but nodded. She flicker her head to the side, crinkling her nose and covering it with a hand. If she thought I smelled so bad why didn't she just get up?

"She can't leave Bella," Edward answered. That was really annoying. A smile ghosted across Edward's face, which had suddenly lost a lot of its pain. He was putting on a mask for Bella, I realized, not wanting to show all his pain to her.

Bella turned her head to her... mate (there was no point in denying it any longer), confusion on her face.

"I'm just answering some of Jacob's questions," he said.

Why isn't he answering the biggest question in my head then?

"Because I think it'd be better if Bella explained."

Bella caught on quickly, nodding in understanding. She turned back to me, eyes almost sympathetic. "You're pretty confused, huh?"

"There's the understatement of the year."

Bella's smile widened, a cough of a laugh bubbling to her lips. Maybe making her laugh wasn't a good idea. Bella skulled the glass of water back, sighing in relief.

"Esme..." her voice sounded better, but not the sing-song way she was aiming for. She pouted at the caramel haired vampire.

The mother – Esme – understood the meaning behind Bella's pout. "I'll make you some food, any preferences?"

Bella smiled softly, almost guiltily. "Something with peanut butter, please."

Esme ran to the kitchen. Edward groaned, falling to his knees beside the couch arm. Bella ran her free hand through his hair, looking guilty. She kept the other hand on the blonde's arm.

"Please, Bella, tell me what... what's happening?"

Bella's hand moved from Edward's head to me. I took her hand in both of mine. They dwarfed her skinny fingers. Her hand was warm, hot actually. She was only just cooler than me. She felt, looked, like she'd just been running.

She looked worried, hesitant, but eventually her face turned determined. "Jacob, I don't want you to do anything rash. Emmett," the big vampire took a step forward. All the times I'd seen him before he had looked happy, excited. Now he looked only serious. I tensed, even knowing that he wasn't the biggest threat of the vampire family. "Emmett, could you make sure he doesn't..."

Her voice trailed off, she didn't know what I'd do. I worried about what she was about to reveal if she thought she needed protection from me. I let go of her hand, balling them in fists behind my back, just in case.

"Rose, could you stand up?"

The blonde nodded softy, then glared at me, holding Bella's hand and rising slowly with the human, holding her like she was going to fall.

At first I only looked at Bella, at how small she looked despite dwarfing the vampire beside her. She was much thinner, but in a strange way. It looked like almost all the fat she had ever had had melted away. She wasn't skin and bone; she was skin, bone and muscle. She didn't look like she was about to snap, but she looked too long, and her wrists and ankles too skinny – you could see her veins. They were bulging in every limb, despite her heart rate slowing.

But Bella's eyes weren't on me, or at least not solely. Those sapphires flickered from me to the vampire she still held – eyes worried.

I took my eyes off her, pulled was probably a better adjective, and followed the line of Bella's site.

What I saw made even less sense then everything I'd seen before.

The blonde was... well, for a second I thought she had to be sick. Her arms, her legs, everything about her looked normal, except for her stomach. It was jutted out and massively swollen. I didn't guess what it was until she let go of Bella with her far hand and brought it to her stomach, cradling it.

And then it hit me, but that barely lessened the confusion.

How could she be pregnant? How could a vampire even get pregnant, much less be _this_ pregnant. It'd only been four weeks since the wedding. I'd seen the showy blonde wearing a dress that hugged her curves – I had to admit she was gorgeous – and would definitely show a baby bump.

No, there was no bump just less than a month ago and now she looked close to six months pregnant.

I swear my jaw was hitting the floor. I turned my head around, to everyone one of the leeches, waiting, hoping for one of them to explain. It couldn't be what I thought, it couldn't, and that didn't explain why Bella looked like someone had stuck a straw into her back and sucked a bunch of her out.

Eventually I just let my gaze rest on Edward, hoping he'd hear the stream of questions and hurry up and answer them. Did he get some kick out of irritating me? Or did he just like to see me flabbergasted?

"No Jacob, I'm just waiting for Bella to explain."

I looked to her, pleading. If she didn't look so bad I'd probably have grasped her shoulders and be shaking her now. Well, maybe not, the big swollen blonde looked like no one could touch Bella without her permission.

Bella took a deep rasping breath, she sounded like she needed more water. "Jacob, Rosalie's pregnant."

I gasped, even though I'd already guessed. It still didn't make sense; some vampire disease that caused the stomach bulge would be more believable. Vampires are stone, they never change. It's like a statue getting pregnant. How can something like that make a child? Had Bella not told me something? That still didn't explain why Bella looked like she did, why she clutched the blonde's arm.

"Bella, suspense has never been my thing. Can you hurry up with the explanations... please?"

Bella frowned at me, glaring. But the emotion quickly left her face. She looked sorry. "It's just hard to explain Jacob; I'm trying to think of a way to put it into words. It'd be so much easier just to _show _you."

The words set her jaw, and suddenly she looked determined. "Don't freak out okay, Jacob."

What'd freak me out more than a pregnant vampire? Bella waited for my response, so I nodded jerkily, eyes still flickering from Bella's face to the bulge in the blonde's stomach and back.

Bella's hand on the blonde's wrist loosened. The blonde looked at her with a worried frown, which made Bella smile softly, encouragingly. "This is the best way to make him understand, Rose," she whispered.

The blonde sighed and nodded.

Then Bella moved her hand and I frowned at what I saw. There were a couple of strands red string hanging from her palm, the other end attached to the blonde's wrist. I didn't think of what it was until I saw it bulge slightly in time with a particularly loud beat of Bella's heart.

I felt like I was going to hurl.

Bella must have realized I'd caught on – maybe my face had suddenly turned green – because she quickly covered the string – veins – with her hand again.

Bella sat back into her seat, the strain of standing and talking too much for her. "A female vampire can't become pregnant, Jacob. Their bodies are the same, never changing, and your body needs to change to hold a child. A vampire egg can't become fertilised, so I made Rosalie's not entirely vampire eggs. Her eggs were ... fertilised, while I was away." Bella looked awkward as she said it, a touch of a blush on her cheeks. I understood. I didn't want to think of two rocks getting it on either.

"Anyway, the fetus had enough human in it to grow while I was away for a week. I'd attached an umbilical cord so it had food from Rose. It could survive. But it grew too quickly, the womb grew too small, so I had to come back. I had – have – to change Rosalie's body for it, grow the womb, maintain it, but it needs more human to survive. I have to keep Rosalie's womb human, give some human cells to it to grow. I can't create human cells in Rosalie's body – I have to give them."

I still felt sick. It didn't make sense to me. Disregarding the insanity of the vampire pregnancy, I was still confused. Why was Bella doing it? Why was she creating this baby for the blonde she used to not like? Because now they seem pretty damn close – they're attached for god's sake! I shuddered.

"Jacob, are you okay? Jacob, answer me," Bella said.

She was worried about me! She was only having her life sucked out of her by a baby that isn't even hers! And she was worried about me! The worst that could happen would be that I would go into shock... actually, I wasn't quite sure yet that I wasn't in shock.

"Jacob, can I have a word?" Edward's voice was strained, deceptively calm. His eyes were still crazed though. "Outside, please."

I didn't know what had spurred his request, or his sudden civility, but it reminded me of the original reason I came. I'd just been sidetracked by Bella – the real reason I came here was now at the forefront of my mind.

I was on my feet in a second. "Gladly, let's do this."

The other two males were beside Edward in a heartbeat, glaring in a way that made them seem at least my height if not taller. They looked ready to pounce, to defend their brother. I guess a fair fight was too much to ask. I felt a second away from phasing; my back was prickling from the fire of the pre-phase. I didn't want to go wolf in here though – Bella was too close.

"It's okay, guys," Edward said, a hand on each brother's arm. "I just need to talk to him."

Bella was watching us both, more like studying than panic. There was worry in her blue eyes, certainly, but mostly she just looked tired. She noticed my staring at her. "I'm going to trust that that's all you're going to be doing, Jacob... talking. Don't disappoint me." She frowned at me, glaring, but that too held less weight than usual, her tired eyes not as hard and flaming as she used to be able to make them. That saddened me, as if I needed any more validation of what that thing in the blonde leech's body was doing to her. "You too, Edward," she added as an afterthought.

"We'll be... we'll come back." I had a feeling he was going to say something along the lines of good or courteous or some other crap, but he knew I wouldn't be. I didn't like that he promised for me that we'd both come back – now I felt... obliged.

"Nothing wrong with a little security," Edward mused, but his chuckle was dry and lifeless as he led me out of the colossal, flashy house. Maybe he just didn't want to break the vases if we did get in a fight.

"We will not fight, Jacob, not today," Edward said, more like commanded. It made me want to growl. "I think neither of us would be able to stop if we started, and Bella is in no state for a loss of either of us."

The way he said either made it sound like, "you", cocky leech actually thought he could beat me?

"Arrogant puppy overestimating the size of his teeth," Edward countered, still walking, with his back to me I might add. An easy target, except for the fact the leech would hear my thoughts if I made the decision to attack. Surprise wouldn't be on my side.

We were silent for a while, Edward walking without fear in front of me. We'd been walking for a while, a few minutes. I didn't know where he was leading, but we were getting pretty far from the house. I didn't think he was leading me to a trap – a falling net or even a hole in the ground wouldn't stop me long. I'd already walked into the most dangerous area, the best suited for an ambush, and the leech had led me out. Maybe he did want a fair fight.

"I'm not ready for you to kill me yet, Jacob. You'll have to be more patient than that."

"Patience isn't my speciality."

Then suddenly Edward stopped, turning around to face me.

Then suddenly I was a child, a child who'd lived in the same place, in the same town, under the same circumstances. Because I knew I would have to live through a lot more, for a lot longer, to understand the pain and anger in Edward's face.

His hands went to his head; one scratching at his cheek and the other tugging so hard at his hair I imagined I'd be seeing the first bald spot on a vampire. His teeth kept grinding loudly. His black eyes burned from their sockets, not really focusing on me.

He looked like a man at the stake, a man burning in anguish, a man who could both see who lit the fire under him and a way to escape just out of reach. There was rage with that pain, and frustration.

He'd hidden this face from her at home, even when she was blanked out. I knew what made his face like that.

"She's dying isn't she? It's killing her, that thing," I whispered, the pain of the realization hitting me. It was different if she were going to be changed into a vampire – at least she'd still exist. I couldn't imagine a world without Bella, it wouldn't be the same.

"Yes, yes it's killing her," Edward's whisper sounded like a sob, a useless, hopeless sob.

"Then why has no one stopped this – stopped her from doing what's she's doing? Just pull her away from the blonde. It isn't like she's stronger than you guys."

"She won't... let us," Edward sighed. He sounded like he'd explained this too many times, or heard the words too often.

"Who says you need her permission. I'm sure she'd forgive you if she considered the alternative." She was dying, how didn't she see that?

"She doesn't think she's dying. She thinks she's fine for now, that once Rosalie gets what she wants," he spat the sentence, "that she'll be able to be changed."

"But she is – do it anyway! She's stubborn and stupid sometimes. Just knock her out and drive her away somewhere."

"I want to, I would've, but it's complicated. It's not just her choice. Rosalie won't let us stop her; take away her chance of having a baby. Rosalie's wanted a child for near-on a century. She never wanted to be a vampire, but she only wants to become human again to have children. Now she can have both, and she won't let anyone take that chance away from her."

"So the blonde's using Bella to get her demon spawn – nice. I'll tackle her down for you if you'd like, hold her down for as long as it takes to get Bella out of her claws."

"It's not that simple Jacob, not that easy. Not everyone in my family feels the way I do about the child. Emmett only wants what his wife wants; he'd give her anything in the world. Esme wants a child, even a grandchild, just as much as Rosalie. Carlisle wouldn't go against his wife that way. Yes, they know it's hurting Bella, but they've been caught up in her stupid notion that she'll survive this easily. Well, maybe not Carlisle, but after Esme could be changed after jumping off a cliff he's open to the possibility."

Well, that's reassuring. As long as she's better than someone who jumped off a cliff.

Edward laughed darkly at the sarcasm in my thoughts, and then sighed. "She just says she needs to keep her heart beating – that it'll be too easy for her. She hasn't really seen herself – she's distracted."

"What do you mean she hasn't seen herself?" There were enough mirrors in the fancy Cullen mansion.

"How you saw her first today – she's normally like that. She wasn't just tired or zoned out – she's all but dead to the world. It takes almost all her concentration to keep the foetus alive – to maintain it. She barely... I guess I'd call it waking up, even though she doesn't really sleep." Edward groaned loudly, tugging at his hair as his eyes dropped to the ground. He looked like he was about to fall. "She hasn't slept in weeks," he whispered to himself, but I heard.

My vision turned red. She hadn't slept in weeks!

Edward nodded. "Whenever she wakes normally she just eats as much food as possible because we don't know the next time she'll wake up. It's been almost 24 hours when you woke her up. She must have some sense outside Rosalie's body – your voice woke her."

I thought back to my yell. "I think my voice would've woken everyone."

"Maybe, but I don't think it's that. You two have some sort of connection on some level I don't understand. You know her, you understand her. She won't listen to me, she thinks I'm under-estimating her. But you, she may listen to you."

I scoffed. "What universe do you live in? I have never understood Bella, and she never listens to me." He couldn't be thinking straight. Could vampires go insane?

"I don't know, it feels like it sometimes." His fists clenched. "I have to hide this from her. I don't know how much longer I'll have with her, and when she sees me like this she shuts down or gets angry. I don't want my last memories of her being her biting my head off."

Every second memory I had with Bella was her getting irritated or yelling at me. The leech should get used to it.

"No, I will not get used to it. I'd prefer our last exchange to be of love than anger," he snarled. His black eyes burned at me. I tensed, ready to phase.

"God, Jacob, will you take your small one-track mind off fighting for just a second! There are more important things right now! Don't you see that you may be our only chance to convince her to stop this madness? Even Rosalie wouldn't force her to keep this up if she decided that she wanted to stop."

"What do you want me to do, Edward? I can't tell her anything you haven't. You want me to tell her she's stupid? She probably knows that. You want me to tell her she'd going to die? She probably knows that too."

"No ... maybe, I don't know. You just... you just have to try, god knows I have. Please, just try to change her mind, for her." He sounded almost hopeless, and extremely desperate.

"I am," he assured with another dark laugh.

"And what if I can't?" His bleakness had calmed me down. Well, it'd calmed me down enough to keep my voice level. I could still use a tree or something to smash.

Edward's replying smile was almost as bad as the burning-man face. "If you can't convince her, and she dies, then I'll give you the one thing you've always wanted. I'll be begging for you kill me."

"You won't have to beg long."

"I'm counting on that."

"Then we have a deal?"

He nodded and held out his stone hand. I swallowed my disgust and took it, shaking it once.

"We have a deal."

* * *

**Some of you had probably guessed what was happening (I know one definitely did)**

**So, Rose is pregnant. What does this mean? Will the baby survive. If so, what do you think will happen?**

**Review guys.**


	19. Why do I even try anymore?

**Okay, this chapter is relatively on time. Yay!**

**Anyone here obsessed with Wonderland and (especially) American McGee's Alice? If not, I'd tell you to go and check it out, but my level of obsession (coupled with teh fact any friend I recommended it to is equally obsessed now) makes me think that I probably shouldn't. It's making it hard for me to want to do anything not Alice related. I'm currently coming up with... actually, you don't care, I won't waste your reading time.**

**Read on!**

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17. Why do I even try anymore?

I knew I was embarking on a hopeless journey. Trying to convince Bella against something she'd already decided was like trying to push a building over with my bare hands. Actually, I might have more success with the building. Bella was stubborn and all too sure of herself – I knew already that I wouldn't be able to sway her.

But I'd try anyway – what other choice did I have? There was the tiniest sliver of hope that she might listen to me, that doubt of her survival had weeded its way into her mind. It was worth the huge possibility of failure for that chance, and even if I fail – well, it's still time with Bella.

If Edward had any opinions about my thoughts as he led me back to the house, he didn't comment on them. For that I was glad, I was trying to figure out a way to make my argument the most convincing. I didn't see how anything I said could be any better than any the other bloodsucker's arguments. They all came from a time when English was all proper and Shakespeare-like.

"We're not _that _old... well, maybe Carlisle, but Shakespeare was almost dead by then."

"Stop eavesdropping," I muttered without much force to it. I was still thinking of how to talk to Bella – I was coming up pretty much blank. I knew I'd have to be soft; otherwise her stubbornness would rise and block any attempt I could make.

The scent of the house was different when we came close to it – and it only took the fraction of a second as I walked through the doorway to understand the change.

The house still reeked of vampire – but also now the strong smell of bacon and cheese wafted through the air. Walking back to the lounge room I soon spotted the source.

Edward had walked straight back to Bella, settling beside her with his barely masked grief obscured slightly by an unconscious crinkling of his nose. Bella sat beside him, a little pout of apology on her lips in between shovelling mouthfuls of pasta into her mouth.

She grinned when she saw me, the creamy sauce clinging to her chapped lips, "Back in one peace?"

"Hey, I can behave when I'm told." That pasta looked and smelt so good that my stomach clenched.

All the vampires seemed to disagree with me, as most were littered around the edges of the room. The two exceptions – excluding Edward – were the pregnant blonde, whose arm was still held by Bella's free hand, and the big beefy leech, who sat beside his mate protectively. His golden eyes watched me warily, like I was a threat... well, technically I was a threat to his wife and unborn child. Any chance I could get I would take Bella from that life-draining demon child.

"It's carbonara," Bella said, after swallowing another mouthful. My eyes kept training back onto the food. I was hungry. "Esme's an amazing cook; she could probably fetch you a bowl."

"I'm fine thanks," I said as politely as I could. Eating something here seemed like testing fate – any one of them could slip something in the bowl when I wasn't looking.

Edward rolled his eyes at my thoughts. Bella noticed, frowned, but didn't comment and went back to shovelling the contents of the huge bowl into her gob. From the sauce-covered sides it looked like it had been full, but now only a few mouthfuls were left. I'd never seen Bella eat so much, not of a food like that. She always seemed at least a little weight-conscious. Right now she looked like she needed the fat.

"Bella, could I talk to you alone? Or as alone as you can be," I gestured to her hand on the blonde rock's arm.

Bella understood my meaning, of course. "Rose doesn't need to stay – I'm not doing much good now anyway."

The blonde hissed and glared at me like she was testing whether you could start a fire with your eyes. Her blocky mate wasn't as outright untrusting, but he definitely wasn't as smiley as he had been at the fight in the warehouse. "Bella, it's not safe."

Bella rolled her eyes but patted the blonde's arm affectionately. "I know you're worried, but Jacob isn't going to hurt me, or take me away... right Jacob?" She raised an eyebrow, challenging me to say otherwise. I'm pretty sure even in this state she'd put up a fight if I decided anything of the sort. She'd definitely make enough noise to bring back her bodyguards.

"Of course I won't."

Bella smiled again, and dropped her gaze to her hand. She carefully eased her hand backwards, cringing. I wanted to look away, I should've, but I watched – morbidly curious – as Bella withdrew her hand and exposed the vein that supplied the leech-spawn in the blonde's stomach with whatever it needed. I didn't know the details, and didn't know if I wanted to.

The thick red strings were only just visible, and pretty short. She didn't have much more room to pull back her hand. My stomach turned when suddenly the strings snapped, but after a second I realized that was her doing. The veins were cut too evenly, and no blood spurted from them. I couldn't even smell blood. The veins looked more tubular empty, less like strings.

The empty veins started to move backwards, retreat under the blonde's rock hard skin and under Bella's pale olive skin of her palm.

Bella sighed with relief when she was finished, unclenching her jaw. She leaned further back into the chair, closing her eyes.

"Come on, everyone, let's leave these two to talk," Edward said, standing.

Everyone looked hesitant to leave Bella, to leave her with me. Bella opened her eyes, looking at the unmoving statues around the room encouragingly. "It's fine guys, it's just Jacob."

That didn't seem to entirely convince them, but when Edward walked outside they followed. They moved quickly, blurring out of the room in a heartbeat. The only one that remained was the blonde, standing and cradling her swollen stomach. "Don't be too long, Bella. You know the baby can't survive long nowadays."

"Don't worry, Rose, he'll be fine for an hour or two."

The blonde grit her teeth but nodded, walking out at a very human pace. I wouldn't call it a waddle, it was too graceful for that, but it certainly didn't seem a normal walk.

Then it was just me and Bella. I settled down beside her on the couch, ignoring the stink of the vampire-scent drenched fabric. Bella leaned into me, tucking one of her hands in between us. Her hands were cool despite the sheen of sweat on her. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders, both to lend her my heat and for the contact.

Bella kept eating the pasta with her other hand. It still smelt really good. This time my stomach did growl. Bella giggled when she heard it. "You really can get some. Esme's got the kitchen stocked full. It's nice to be able to eat without having to worry about getting fat."

"Trust me; you're the opposite of fat right now." Her shoulders were bony under my hands.

Bella looked down at her wrist, at her hand. Her fingers looked longer, like claws. She bit her lip.

I took a breath, unsure of where to start. I was about to talk, to tell her how terrible she looked, when Bella sighed loudly.

"I know why you're here Jacob, why you want to talk to me alone. I know what you're going to say, you're going to call me stupid for doing this and try to convince me to stop. Well I'm not, Jake."

"Bella, can't you see what this is doing to you? No, that's a stupid question, because of course you can." Bella looked back at her wrist. "I just don't see why you aren't stopping it. Do you honestly think this is healthy, that this is right? It's killing you Bella, you won't survive this."

Bella pulled back, and threw my arm away from her shoulders. The effort was weaker than normal.

She raised her chin, straightened her shoulders, and fixed me with a glare that made it seem like she was looking down her nose at me. The stubbornness was there, and pride. I knew I wouldn't get anywhere trying to talk to her.

"I will survive this, I know it." Her voice was croakier when she raised it. "Yes," her voice was softer now, her eyes on her hands, "I've strayed from the path a little, but I've done it before. I'm still going to the same place; it's just a different road. I know what to expect, what will happen, I know I'll survive. I have to."

I gaped at her. "Bella, what the heck are you talking about? You're sounding crazy. You're acting crazy. Everything about this is crazy. Why are you doing this? Why are you risking your life for that blonde? I thought she hated you."

"That's why I have to do this!" she said exasperatedly. "I made her a promise. I keep my promises, Jake. Rosalie has always wanted a baby, and I'm the only one who can give it to her. It needs to be half human to live, to grow, to survive. I need to be human to give her that baby. I only need to survive a few more days. And then all I have to do is keep my heart beating."

"All?" I scoffed. "Bella, have you heard your heart lately?" I made her hold her own wrist; find her pulse, but carefully. I didn't want to hurt her. Her heart rate was slower now, a little more even, which meant it was still fast and spluttered occasionally.

Bella sighed. "I will survive, Jacob. I will keep my promise and survive. I'm not an oath-breaker."

"You're going to lose him, you know. You're death will kill him, he'll run right back to those Volturi people."

Bella growled. "He wouldn't dare – and I'm not going to die! You have as little faith as he has. Just because I'm not a vampire or a werewolf doesn't mean I'm a fragile little butterfly. I might not be the strongest, but I will keep myself going – and when I can't they'll change me. It'll be like with all the rest of them, Rosalie, Esme, Edward, Emmett. Carlisle only changed them because they were dying."

I felt a stab of guilt for the good doctor. I was planning – maybe still am – to kill his family. I'd spare him if it came to that, and probably the other females. I didn't want to kill a girl.

"Bella..." I started, ready to beg her more, use her attachment to Edward to my advantage, but she cut me off.

"Stop it," she ordered and huffed. "Stop arguing, okay? I don't want to argue, don't want you to remember me angry."

"Oh, so you're admitting it now – that you mightn't survive if I leave?"

"No, but I don't know what will happen. I know the baby like the back of my hand – I've created it, monitored, grown it and the womb around it, I know everything about it but its thoughts. But it grows on its own now, it's becoming less predictable. If it comes early, and I have to change ... I know you won't want to see me when I'm a vampire, Jake. I don't want you to have bad memories."

"If you know so much about this baby, why do you keep calling it that? Shouldn't you know whether to buy dresses or shorts by now?"

Bella grinned. "Rose and Emmett don't want to know – it'll be a surprise."

"Wonderful, a surprise on your funeral," I muttered.

Bella heard, and looked about to slap me, but decided against it. She'd probably hurt her hand again, and now she didn't look like she had the energy to heal it.

"You need to stop being so pessimistic. Here, have some chocolate."

I didn't notice the packet of M&Ms at her side. She opened them quickly, offering me some. I declined, I knew how much she loved M&Ms. She popped one into her mouth.

"Bella, please just listen to me one more time. What's going to happen if you do die? No, don't argue," I stopped her as she started to tense, "just think about it for a second. You die, no one else can look after the baby so it dies, Edward goes off to kill himself, and the blonde probably is angry or sad enough to something just as rash. That's what happens if you fail Bella. And succeeding isn't the likeliest chance for you."

Bella rolled her eyes. "If I do fail – which I'm NOT – then I died for a better cause then most. Anyway, I don't even think I'll have to keep my heart beating – someone can just do CPR until the venom starts to work."

My fists clenched and I stood, trying not to growl at her. Her stubbornness put a donkey to shame. Why on earth did Edward think she would listen to me?

"Where are you going?" Bella asked.

"I'm leaving; I'm not doing any good here."

Bella stood quickly, too quickly. She almost fell over. "No, Jacob, please don't go. Or at least, don't go back to Sam. Everyone's stressed enough already – we don't need Sam and the pack growling down our necks. You know he won't understand."

Of course he wouldn't understand – I barely did myself.

"Whatever," I said, taking another step away. I didn't want to leave – Bella was like a drug for me – but I had to.

"Please, Jacob, please don't go."

"I'm not going to stick around and watch you die, Bella."

She sat straighter, ready to once again insist she wasn't going to die. But then she stopped herself, frowning at me. "You know what? Do whatever. I can't stop you. I'm going to have a bath and eat my chocolate." She stood, I didn't want her walking but apparently those skinny knees could still support her weight. She turned her head and grinned sheepishly at me. "Honestly, how much do I smell?"

Honestly, she didn't. She smelled of clean perspiration, of herself, a scent that was almost intoxicating to me because I knew it belonged to her. But I wasn't going to say that – I'd already lost the battle for her heart, and it seemed the battle for her life. "You smell fine." I walked forward.

"Bye Jacob, come back soon!" She called from behind me.

"Sure, sure," I replied. I think I heard her sigh.

As I walked out, all the vampires flooded in. I could see them all resume their positions from before they left, all with worried expressions, all watching Bella. Edward was holding her up now, supporting her weight as they walked upstairs. It angered me, because I wanted to be the one to look after her.

I stood at the doorway for a few seconds, even after Bella was out of my view, because the room seemed different and it wasn't just the absence of the human. It looked emptier.

I shook my head at myself and pushed away from the doorway. Was Bella's plea actually keeping me back? I shook my head again, striding away from the house. I'd gone through too many pairs of shorts, and I didn't need to lose another pair with the forest a few metres away. I started to run.

Only to be stopped by the newest edition to the vampire family.

She was small – not as small looking as when I last saw her, curled up into a corner while I was in wolf form – but still a lot shorter than me, shorter probably than most of the other Cullens (excepting the pixie). The top of her head bobbed at my chest, the top not even reaching my shoulder.

Her hair was shiny brown, falling around her the pale face looking up at me. She was pretty, like most vampires I'd seen, but it was slightly marred by the orange/amber/brown colour of her irises. She had a determined set to her jaw, despite being obviously intimidated. I reckon that if I barked that second she'd jump.

Her blocking my path irritated me more than anger at what she'd done last time I saw her. "What? Do you wanna take another swipe at me?"

She dropped her eyes, looking embarrassed and apologetic. She looked like she'd have pink cheeks if she were human. "I'm sorry about that. I'd seen what the wolves had done to the others that night. I thought you were going to attack me."

I was going to. She didn't need to know though. I'd been in hot blood then, not realizing how little of a threat she had been. She'd surrendered that night, hadn't even been in the fight. She looked even less dangerous now.

I wasn't angry at her for that or at her in general. The last I'd really heard about this girl had been from a grief stricken Bella when she believed her leech was cheating on her. That hadn't really occurred, and even if it had, I wouldn't be angry at this girl. Those days with Bella – any days with Bella, even if she spent the majority crying – were amazing. Maybe I should thank her... but I wasn't in a particularly grateful mood.

"What is it that you want?" I asked, or snapped.

She cringed at the sharpness in my tone, and gulped. She jutted her chin up, and placed her hands on her hips. She looked like a kid or a kitten trying to be scary. "I wanted to tell you to listen to Bella."

"About what?" was she trying to convince me as well? "You think she's going to survive this?"

"No, that's not what... I wasn't talking about that. I don't really know Bella well; I haven't spent much time with her. I hope that she survives, she's pretty strong minded, but I don't know if she can survive _that_." I had a feeling she wasn't team keep the baby. "But from what I've seen, Bella's pretty smart. If she told you not to go back to your pack, to the wolves, that they'll cause trouble if you do, then I'll believe her. You should too."

"You eavesdropped on our conversation?"

"It's kind of hard not to. Everyone was keeping close just in case. We can't block out the other stuff."

My fists clenched. I couldn't argue there. Still...

"You're in no position to order me to do or not do something," I hissed glaring down at her. "Now move out of my way, before I move you myself."

She gasped, clenching her jaw, slightly outraged, mostly scared. I wasn't lying. She stepped to the side just as I was about to grasp her shoulders.

"I tried," I heard her whisper as I broke into the tree line, jogging away until I was sure I was out of the view of the house. My bike wasn't fast enough for me now.

I stripped down quickly. It took a second to phase, I didn't need the anger and frustration to change anymore, but they didn't hinder it.

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**Thanks for all teh reviews last time. It's nice to know I still have readers.**

**Sorry if teh story is taking a weird path. It just kind of ended up that way. You could always stop reading now, mkae up your own ending, but this sort of ended up happening. The part about introducing the real Bella was one of the first thoughts I had about writing this series, and the baby with Rosalie developed after I came up with Bella's gift.**

**Anyway, review if you want to yell at me, if you want me to change the story line or some part (mind you, I am about to finish the Jacob book).**


	20. Maybe I should've listened to the girl

**yeah, I'm a sucky author, and I forgot. Here's a longer chapter though.**

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18. Maybe I should've listened to the girl

The pack was waiting, of course. They'd been worried, so had my Dad, they told me. They'd thought I'd been killed by the Cullens.

_Come home NOW! _The alpha voice commanded. Sam was furious.

I felt Paul phase out. He was probably with Rachel and my Dad. He was too eager to tell them that I wasn't vampire chow to hear my story.

I didn't have to tell him I was coming. He could see the trees blur past me. I pelted as fast as I could, trying to use the burning of my muscles and the pounding of my heart to forget what I'd just seen.

I didn't though, and they saw, they saw everything. Saw the swollen stomach of the blonde. Saw Bella as she wasted away. Saw the veins supplying the monster with life, life that they sucked out of Bella. They saw the burning man in Edward's eyes. They saw Bella's dumb determinedness; _I am not an oath breaker. _

And for a moment they were silent, their thoughts reeling as they took in the flood of information, tried to make sense of it. Their shock was just a silent shout in my head.

I was halfway home by the time anyone recovered, and then they were all sprinting to meet me.

It was almost dark, so I risked running across the highway. The shortest journey was a straight line. It wasn't my destination I was interested in; it was getting away from what was behind me.

We all met up about 10 miles out of La Push, in a clearing left by the loggers. It was wedged between too mountains though, so no one would see us. Paul reached them at about that same time I did. Everyone was here.

The darkening sky tinted everyone's furs with oranges and reds. I was trying to distract myself, not think of what had just happened, or what could (most likely would) happen.

The pack's mind was loud, everyone was shouting all at once. It was so loud I couldn't pick out any individual thoughts, just the collective mood of anger, disgust, and a surprising amount of fear. The whole pack couldn't stop pacing, clawing at the ground and tearing chunks of soil from the ground. Everyone's hackles were raised, and snarls and growls were almost an unbroken hum among us.

Sam was the most livid, he'd climbed atop a subtle rise is the soil and paced there, Jared and Paul at his heels closer to me, lower. I thought the ranking was unconscious. He looked down on all of us, not silencing our rambling thoughts which were gradually becoming more distinct.

I could make out words now, or maybe the thoughts were only just verbalised. But they all had the same theme.

_How is that possible?_

_Bella's powers are too strong; she needs to stop doing what she's doing._

_That thing's not natural, it's not right._

_It's an abomination, we can't allow it._

_It won't be able to control itself._

The pack was starting to think in synchronization, pace in time with each other, excepting one other than myself. I moved closer to the brother who was also not thinking along the lines of the others, too dazed to recognise who it was. The pack circles round us, still growling.

_The treaty doesn't cover this._

_This puts everyone in danger._

The thoughts were of the worst pictures I'd seen, of Bella wasting away, of the blonde's swollen stomach, of the veins attaching my Bella to it, Edward's burning man face, even stuff I'd barely registered, like the pixie's sad and almost scared look she directed Bella's way.

_They fear it too._

_But they won't do anything about it._

_They're protecting Bella Swan._

_We can't allow that to influence us._

_One human life isn't worth the lives of the tribe._

_Protect the tribe protect our families._

_The demon spawn must die!_

Then they thought back to my thought's, my recollections, my outright disbelief at that the blonde could be so heavily pregnant already. They thought to Bella's explanation, that she'd only made it possible for the bloodsucking baby to grow at the wedding. Four weeks and she looked almost eight months pregnant.

_It grows too fast._

_Then there is no time to waste!_

_We attack the Cullens._

_It will mean a fight, a bad one, _Embry cautioned._ None will allow us to kill one of their own, and they'll avenge those who are killed._

_We're ready, _Paul insisted.

_We'll need surprise on our side, _Sam thought.

_If we can catch them divided, we can take them down separately. It will increase our chances of victory. _Jared was starting to strategize now. _We have to win, we have to kill it._

_Kill the child!_

_By any means necessary._

Then I saw it then, how they thought they could kill the child.

The baby couldn't survive without Bella, she'd said that already. The blonde would have the most protectors, and be the hardest to kill. Bella would be the easiest target, the easiest way to kill the demon baby.

I was on my feet in a second.

_NO!_

The pack paused for a second. I rushed in before they continued strategizing again, before they would ignore me.

_I said no! You can't kill Bella. She's human; she'd under the treaty's protection! You wouldn't attack this afternoon when we thought the treaty was broken, but you'll attack while the treaty is still intact?_

_This is not something our treaty anticipated, _Sam said. _This puts every human in the town in danger. We don't know much about this creature the Cullen's have bred. We just know that it is half vampire and fast growing. And it will be too young to follow any treaty. Think about those newborns, but a child, and protected by the Cullens._

_We don't know... _I started before Sam interrupted.

_You're right, we DONT know. We can't take chances with the unknown, not in this case. We can only allow the Cullen's to exist when we're absolutely sure they aren't going to try and cause harm. We can't trust this thing. _

_They don't like it anymore than we do. _

Sam's pictured the blonde's sharp eyes, her big mate's wariness. _But some are, and are willing to fight for it._

_You can't do this! Let me reason with her, threaten her, threaten them all. We can still kill the child with no extra bloodshed. You're right, it won't survive without Bella. I'll kidnap her if I have to._

_You, all of us, know you won't be able to achieve it. Before it was just Bella's choice, it only affected her. This time it affects us all._

_Then tell them to leave, _the wolf supporting me, of course it'd be Seth, said.

_And inflict whatever menace the child turns out to be somewhere else? We protect as many humans as possible. If a blood-drinker crosses our land we kill it not let it free to feast somewhere else._

_The Cullen's will control it. They wouldn't let it drink humans as much as they wouldn't allow one of their own to, _Seth's argument was welled reasoned to me.

I guess Sam didn't think so. _They won't control it. You can tell the blonde leech would do anything for her child, even kill her brother's mate. She wouldn't harm it, and she'd give it anything it wanted. We can't trust the Cullens, especially if we don't know how strong this thing could be. What if it can't be controlled by its parents, by anyone?_

_It's half human, I highly doubt it'll be strong enough..._

_ENOUGH JACOB! _I felt the weight of the alpha voice, command, on me. _We are attacking the Cullens tonight, and you will join us. You will not run away, you will not sulk; you will not run to the Cullens. You will join the pack and fight off whatever this thing is however you have to. None of us want to harm Bella, but we have to put the safety of everyone first. You know the girl, Jacob; she wouldn't forgive us for stopping this, for killing any of the Cullens. I wouldn't want to face a foe like her if the Cullens leave and change her._

I understood that. Bella would be a powerful vampire, too powerful. But we couldn't kill her. I couldn't stand the thought of Bella dead. Anger burned in me, suppressed and converting to despair under the weight of Sam's command.

_We attack tonight, _Sam ordered. The pack went to pacing, and I felt the anticipation of all the wolves.

_We need the whole pack for this. Jacob, you are our strongest fighter. I know this is hard for you, so you will focus on the coven's fighters, Emmett and Jasper. You'll fight with Quil and Embry._

_Paul, Jared and I will take on Edward, Rosalie, and Alice. Colin, Brady and Leah will attack Esme, Carlisle, and the newborn Izzy. Whoever has a clear line on the blonde or... _Sam mentally stuttered over Bella's name... _destroy them. We can't allow this creature to live._

I understood the strategy. Leah, Colin and Brady would be with the weakest of the Cullens, the least likely to fight well. The doctor and his wife were too kind to fight well, neither wanted to hurt each other. Quil, Embry and I would take the second most dangerous Cullens.

Sam left Edward to himself, or to him and Jared. You could see it in his mind. Edward's mind reading made him the most formidable Cullen; he'd be able to hear your attack before you made it. He would be hard to kill.

It was hard not to think like the rest of the pack. Sam's order and the anticipation, and that I'd been geared up for this fight this morning, all made me want to join in. It made me feel eager for the fight, ready to spring at Sam's command.

But I couldn't, this was Bella we were talking about.

Sam ignored my rebellious thoughts. He had faith in his alpha command. You couldn't fight a command by the alpha – it was necessary. There needed to be a head to the pack to organize us, which was the point of not being able to disobey the commands. The pack needed to work as one to work efficiently.

It didn't mean I couldn't think it was wrong. I thought about the doctor's face, the face of his wife. They were good people. Killing them definitely amounted to murder. I guess the rest were the same, but I didn't feel as strongly about them. Maybe it was because I knew how unlikely it was for the pair to defend themselves well. It was like killing someone who'd already surrendered in cold blood.

_Pull yourself together, Jacob, _Sam ordered. _The tribe comes first._

_I was wrong earlier today, _I said.

Sam whipped around, walking to me, in front of me. He drew himself as high as he possibly could. His teeth were bared, and he glared down at me. A bid part of me wanted to cower under that gaze, drop to the ground.

_You were wrong then, but now you have a duty to fulfil._

But another part of me kept me standing, a part that grew until I felt a strange relief. It felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Sam glared harder, not understand why I wasn't backing down.

_No, _I said.

You couldn't refuse an alpha's command... but Sam wasn't the alpha, not the true alpha.

I was.

I hadn't earned that right, had never wanted to take that role, but it was in my blood. Ephraim Black's grandson was never meant to orders from Levi Uley's. I'd never wanted to be alpha before, but now, with Sam's wrong orders weighing down on me, I wanted to embrace that birthright.

I felt the relief as Sam's orders fell away from me, and also a strange hollowness. I was alone, I realized, I couldn't hear the other's thoughts. I was an alpha without a pack.

_What do you mean? _Sam still hadn't noticed the change in me, the newfound freedom.

_I mean no. I will not attack the Cullens tonight; I will not follow you on a stupid quest against the unknown. I will not obey you Sam. You are no longer my leader._

Sam understood then, heard the alpha tone in my voice, and cowered just slightly. I straightened to my full height. I'd grown larger than Sam. I didn't realize until I was looking down at him.

_You would choose those bloodsuckers, your enemies, above your family?_

_They aren't our enemies; _it was weird that it was true. _Killing them is murder. Attacking them is suicide. Maybe not for all of you, all of us, but you know not everyone would survive. _

_This isn't about the pack; it's about your Bella! You continue to follow after her – to destroy your life – even though she's already chosen the leech!_

_No Sam, this isn't about her, this is about doing what's right._

_What's right is protecting the tribe! We have to protect our families._

_And killing the tribe's protectors isn't going to do that, Sam. _

_That creature... _Sam started.

_No, Sam, no more arguing. I won't convince you. Just know that I oppose you, and will until you drop this idiotic notion. Know that if you attack the Cullens, I'll be there with them, fighting on their side. I hope you change your mind, Sam. Lead the pack in the right direction._

And with that I ran, pelted, faster than I'd ever run before. The only one who had a chance to stop me was Leah, and I'd be able to take her down easily. But that would slow me, so I ran fast, hoping she wouldn't, they wouldn't follow.

I ran towards the Cullen house. I had to warn the Cullens.

My pack... my previous pack, howled. I took comfort in the fact that the howls were far behind me, quietening with distance. I didn't slow though. I kept sprinting towards the Cullens land. If the Cullens were prepared it might give Sam pause in attacking them. Even he would be smart enough to not fight when the odds were almost even. Yes, the pack had more wolves, but the Cullens had far more experience.

It was only about now that I realized I really didn't want to fight the Cullens. At least I hadn't wanted the whole pack to fight them. Inexperienced youngsters like Seth, Colin, and Brady wouldn't be able to attack a Cullen and survive. I cringed at the thought of the fast one, Jasper, standing over Seth's body.

_It's nice to know you have so much faith in me._

I swear I jumped a foot when that voice sounded through my head. I knew exactly who it was and I sighed. I could hear his padded footfalls now, far behind me. I guessed I'd slowed a little.

_Hey Jake, slow down my legs aren't as long as yours, _he called.

_Seth, what do you think you're doing? Go home!_

He didn't respond, but I could feel and hear his excitement in his thoughts. He was running as fast as he could go, breaking the plants he didn't bother to dodge.

_I'm not joking, Seth. Go home, go back to the pack. This is no place for you._

The gangly wolf snorted past his huffing breath. He was close now. But I could probably shake him off if I ran faster... maybe.

Seth ignored my thoughts, instead explaining himself. _I'm going to watch your back, Jacob. I think you're right. I'm not going to stand behind Sam while he..._

_Oh yes you are going to stand behind Sam. Get your furry but back to La Push. _

_No._

_Yes, Seth, go!_

_Is that an order, Jacob?_

His question brought me up short. I skidded to a halt. Seth quickly reached me, and almost ran past.

No, it wasn't an order. I never wanted to take anyone's will away from them. That feeling of being controlled, of a puppet on string, was a feeling I wished on no one.

_Then I'm staying with you._

Seth's wolf was smiling smugly, or as smug as was possibly when you had a snout and not a face.

_Just because I'm not going to order you to go away doesn't mean you shouldn't go. Seth, it isn't safe for you. Are you going to fight the pack if it comes to that... your sister?_

Seth paused for a second. _No, but I'll deprive them of a member. Sam won't fight on two even terms. I might fight Leah though._

He grinned through his wolf muzzle.

_Stop being so ... happy. _I couldn't stand the thought of attacking my brothers... except for maybe Paul.

_I can't help it. It's really nice when it's this quiet. Didn't you notice that we can't hear the others? They haven't phased back. _You could still hear their howls in the distance. _It's great, a little strange, almost eerie, but it's good. The separate packs aren't linked. There was nothing about that in the legends. Though I guess there have never been two packs before, there were never enough wolves for it. _

_Seth, shut up!_

_Yes, sir!_

_Stop that, and there are not two packs. There is the pack, and then there is me. You can go home now._

_I think there are two packs. When you turned your back on Sam, that was a pretty significant move. When I followed you it was significant too. I chose you and your pack._

_And you can go right back and choose Sam's pack too._

Seth started to move away, towards Cullen land. _No time to argue about it now. We should move right along before Sam..._

He was right. I started to run again, ears trained behind me. I didn't want any of the pack sneaking up on me just because I couldn't hear past Seth's running.

_I could move further away if you want, if it's distracting._

_Yeah, move to La push._

_Not going to happen._

_Unless I make you ... _I threatened.

_Which you won't, _he replied smugly.

I huffed and ran faster. I still listened behind me, worried now. Even if I ran to the Cullens, warned them, I wouldn't know when the pack would attack. It could be straight away or in hours, and I didn't think Bella and the blonde leech – calling her by her name seemed to courteous – were in a state to run away, or be ready for a fight for days. Without the pack mind link, I couldn't use that to warn the Cullens in advance.

_We could run patrols_, Seth suggested.

It was a good idea, except if they stopped us before we could fall back and sound the alarm.

_Hey, I'm not the slowest person. Anyway, Edward's range should go far enough that we could warn them. I only have to get within a few miles of the house, right?_

Bella had explained a little of Edward's power so of course all the pack knew just as much as I.

_Let's hope it doesn't come to that. There are only eight of them now, and there are eight of the Cullens, not including Bella._

_The blonde isn't really in shape to fight, Izzy is a newborn, and Carlisle and Esme would rather climb a tree than fight one of the pack._

_Then there's us to fill the blanks!_

_Stop sounding so darn optimistic! You know you don't want to fight them, I don't either._

_They'll be just as hesitant, _Seth pointed out. I sighed passed my panting. I didn't want to think of a fight with the pack. I hoped Sam was smart enough to realize how stupid that was and how many causalities it would cause on both sides.

I knew we were close to the Cullens house, the grass and soil almost radiated their scent. It prickled Seth's nose as much as mine, like the scent of hundreds of cotton candy stalls all lined up past our sight.

_Maybe we should think non-threatening thoughts, like we come in peace? _Seth suggested.

_Go for it._

_Edward_, Seth called tentatively with his mind. _Edward, can you hear me. Okay, now I feel stupid._

_You sound stupid too._

_Think he can hear us?_

We were a couple of miles out, and Edward had so often said I thought loudly in the past. _Yeah, he can hear us. Hey Edward, if you can hear me, listen up. Get the troops – we have a problem._

We broke through the trees into the clearing of the house's lawn. The smell assaulted me in my wolf nose, near-to-painful in its strength. It was like someone had given me a frosty in my nose.** (A/N, if you don't know a frosty is where someone sprays deodorant or air freshener on your skin so you get frost burn. Sorry for the interruption)**

Edward was waiting on the porch; to each of his sides were the fighters of the coven – Emmett and Jasper. They all looked tense; the big one glared at me like I was about to storm inside and kill his mate. Jasper's face didn't look much kinder.

"Jacob? Seth? What's going on?" Edward asked.

I gave him a quick play by play of what had happened when I'd gone back to the pack. Edward's expression grew angrier and angrier, murderous by the end.

"They want to kill Bella?" he hissed.

Emmett and Jasper took his question as a statement, and both dropped into a crouch. Seth stumbled backwards and I tensed to run, but Edward quickly grabbed his brothers' shoulders, pulling them up to standing.

"Not them, the pack. They think the fetus is an abomination, a danger to any of the humans in the area." Edward's voice didn't seem to disagree with what he said. "They want to kill Bella or Rose to stop the fetus from being born."

The big one, Emmett, snarled loudly at this. "They'll have to go through us first!"

"That's what they intended on doing. They know we would want revenge for any member of our coven we lost – they intended on killing us all." I hoped his use of past tense was correct. "Call Carlisle! He and Esme need to get back quick!"

I whined; they _were_ separated.

"They aren't far," Edward said, worry tinging his tone.

_I'm going to go and take a look, _Seth said.

"Will you be in danger, Seth?"

Seth looked to me, his furry brows pulled together.

_I don't think so. They're less likely to attack me. I'm a kid to them._

_You're a kid to me, kid._

I watched him wheel away. I wasn't going to stop him or order him around. He was right though; no one would attack Seth... well, apart from maybe Colin or Brady. Seth disappeared into the trees. I hoped to god the pack hadn't followed us.

I turned back to the house. Jasper was on the phone, the little pixie Alice clinging to him. Emmett was no longer outside; I guessed he was with the preggers blonde. Edward still watched me, his burning man face marred by a determination.

"I won't let them get to Bella, Jacob." That explained the determination.

_How is she? _I asked.

"Not that great, not much worse than when you were here before. She's looking after the fetus though, unless you want to try and wake her up again?"

No, I didn't even want to see her when she was like that. Those zombie-like eyes scared me more than her fat-less body.

"I want to thank you for doing this, Jacob, for us and for her. I would never have asked this from you."

I thought of his protectiveness of Bella. _Yeah you would've._

He smiled. It was more a harsh up-turning of his lips than an actual humorous smile. He nodded. "You're right, I probably would have."

Jasper clapped his phone shut. "They're on their way – they'll be here soon, 20 minutes tops."

Edward nodded, crossing his arms. Jasper went back inside, his pixie letting go of him to stand beside Edward. "Is there anything I should know?"

"You heard already. The pack wants to exterminate the foetus. They're afraid of it. They don't think it will be able to control itself around humans, that it'll be too young to follow any treaty. They think the easiest way to kill it would be to kill Bella or that if they don't kill her she'll come after them as a vampire. They're afraid of the strength her power will achieve if she's changed. Jacob and Seth disbanded from their pack to warn us. The rest wanted to attack tonight."

The little vampire's hands were fisted, she looked tensed to spring. Her face was scrunched up in anger. I'll never let them touch her. If only I could see their decisions, damn it. I can't even see Carlisle and Esme now that he's here," she pointed at me. "As if that thing in Rose isn't enough," she snarled quietly.

I gave Edward an un-worded question at that statement. "Alice can't see the foetus's future, like it's one of you wolves."

Great, so now we don't even know if after killing Bella the thing will even survive. Edward nodded at my thoughts.

_There's nobody out here, _Seth called.

_Make a loop, keep patrolling the perimeter. We don't know which direction they'll decide to attack from, or if they're going to split up._

_Maybe you should patrol too, we'd cover more ground. They'd be less likely to slip through then._

_Okay. Edward, if I go too far for you to hear my thoughts, listen for my howl._

"Alright," he gave a once over to the forest, frowning deeply. "I'm going to go inside, get things ready, in case we all have to run."

_You wouldn't attack the pack?_

"No, I wouldn't, we wouldn't. Not only would we lose members, but truly we don't wish the wolves harm. Plus, Bella would likely smash us if we killed even one wolf. Any action we take is purely defensive."

Bella wasn't strong enough to kill a fly right now, but I knew she'd still get pissed. The pack was friends with Bella, despite her being their target at present. My smile felt like a grimace at the thought of her yelling at the vampires for injuring one of our own.

"You know her well," Edward sighed. "I'll inform you when she next wakes."

That probably wasn't healthy for me, my need for Bella never was, but I couldn't stop myself nodding vigorously. Edward went inside, the pixie following after a strangely whimsical look at me. I couldn't be bothered to interpret it, and ran into the forest until I found Seth's scent, like a curving trail of where he had been patrolling.

We ran for a while in silence, both of us listening for sounds. I kept trying to listen to what he saw, making sure his judgements were correct.

15 minutes later he heard something. It sounded fast. I sprinted to meet him, but he was far away, at the opposite side of the house.

_It doesn't sound like a wolf, _Seth said when I considered cutting through the mansion to get to him. The little man got me all protective. It was just because he was small, not that I cared too much.

_Hey, I'm not that small! And I don't need protection!_

_Yeah you do kid._

Seth listened more intently, he couldn't see whoever was cutting through the forest but he could hear them, and by the volume they were almost on him. I heard four footfalls, but they were too quiet, too light.

Seth identified their scents just as I came to the conclusion that it had to be the 'parents' of the Cullens. Either them or some random couple of vampires, which we were all entirely too stressed to deal with right now. Actually, ripping up some blood drinker may be therapeutic.

Seth phased out, ready to explain to Carlisle and Esme. I kept running to him, just in case. I didn't doubt that the two Cullens were no danger to him, but if the pack found him while he was human. No, they wouldn't hurt him, I had that much faith. They may drag him off though, restrain him. Worse, they could find a way to make him rejoin the pack then order him to fight with them.

I was glad when I heard him phase again.

_Yeah, Carlisle and Esme, and they were definitely surprised to see me. I only told them the bare minimum. I didn't want them out here too long. Edward can explain. They're probably inside by now. It was weird though, they were carrying a deer._

I frowned as the image of the blonde vampire holding up the obviously dead animal like it was a pillow. Its neck was twisted at an awkward angle, but Seth hadn't smelled any fresh blood. The good doctor hadn't even seemed messed up.

Esme had been carrying some bags. I presumed they were full of food for Bella. I wondered if she'd woken up again. I needed to see her again, hear her voice.

_You know Jacob, maybe she will survive. Not human, certainly, but possibly._

_Always so optimistic, _I grumbled mentally. _I'm not getting my hopes up, kid. I know what it feels like for them to be quashed. I don't want that feeling again._

_I understand man, just trying to liven you up a little._

It wasn't Seth who could liven me up at the moment. _I'm going to check if she's awake._

_It's night, Jacob._

_I don't think she's following a sleep schedule. _

I ran to the house, finding Edward standing on the porch. He was waiting for me. I didn't know if that was a good or bad sign. If she was awake he'd be at her side, wouldn't he?

"She awake, Jacob, she's just having a human moment. Or maybe she doesn't want Rose to get blood on her," that pained smile made another appearance.

_What do you mean?_

"The foetus isn't just feeding off Bella; it's feeding off Rosalie too. The vampire side wants blood as food; the human side needs human blood and cells to grow. At least that's what Bella tells me."

_Can I come inside or will I be disgusted._

"You'll probably be disgusted, but you can come inside anyway. She feeds inside doesn't want to move too much, it jostles the baby and makes him kick. She says he's strong, but doesn't want him 'hurting his little fists'." His voice turned high and mocking.

Poor baby, hurting its fingers while it killed the girl I loved.

Edward snarled in agreement, and then turned to go inside. "Esme allows Rosalie to feed inside, but I don't think she'll allow a horse-sized wolf inside. Phase back Jacob, you can come inside afterwards."

I only trotted just out of view. I wanted to hear what was going on inside. Okay, mostly I wanted to hear Bella's voice. I jogged back, running inside, ignoring the mud on my bare feet and shorts.

I came into the living room, and for a second I had to actual focus on not hurling.

* * *

**What is it Jakes seeing?**

**Review please...**


	21. There are some things you can't unsee

**I think I failed at having a cliffy... oh well.**

**Here's the chappie**

* * *

19. There are some things you can't un-see

I walked in on the blonde feeding. I tasted vomit; surprising seeing as my stomach thought it hadn't been fed in weeks.

The pregnant vampire held the deer above her. Her mate watched her, helping her balance it as she lapped at the wound at its neck. The wound was small, surprisingly neat. God it was disgusting though.

The blonde didn't even notice me coming in, or at least didn't care enough to stop feeding. Her mate gave me a very pointed glare through, as if daring me to say a word, or maybe daring me to spew on the carpet. I had a feeling that was pretty well prohibited, given that the house looked almost spotless. The blonde didn't miss a drop of the blood, and the dirty matted deer didn't seem to have touched any surface.

I pulled my eyes from the disturbing but oddly intriguing picture, looking up the stairs. I could hear Bella's uneven, fast heart rate from upstairs. I could smell cooking from the kitchen. My mouth watered, even which the leech smell everywhere. Anything I'd eat would probably taste like potpourri with that smell. My stomach still grumbled.

The food distracted me for long enough to not notice Bella coming downstairs until she was completely visible. She clung to the hand rest like she was about to fall at any second, a determined set to her jaw. She probably was about to fall at any moment, but no doubt she didn't want everyone else to know that.

"Jacob," she croaked, her face breaking into a smile. "You're just in time for the gorging session." Was she talking about herself or the vampires?

Rosalie pulled back from the deer, facing the open wound upwards. "I'm done; you can have the rest, Emmett."

I moved forward, not wanting to see that, but from the corner of my eye I saw him run outside. You could still see him on the lawn though, through the glass walls.

Bella smiled at me when I moved to her, wrapping an arm around her clammy, warm shoulders. She leaned into me. She made barely any pressure; she'd lost far too much weight.

"I'm glad you didn't leave," she whispered.

"I did," I said.

She frowned, looking at the clock. "How long was I out this time?" she asked.

Of course Edward was at her side. I hadn't noticed him.

"Not that long, a couple hours, not days," he answered.

She turned back to me, glaring now. "You went back to the pack, didn't you?"

I nodded.

She groaned and pushed away from me. Edward caught her, and she waved him off, walking on her own to the couch. "God, why of all the things I tell you did you choose to not listen to THAT one. We didn't need this, the Cullens and the pack."

"How'd you guess that this would happen?" I asked.

Bella dropped her sharp gaze for a second, before it returned even harder. "It was obvious what would happen, but I guess you didn't see that." Her voice was as sharp as her gaze, even croaky. Her hands were balled in fists. Her chest rose and fell in huffs.

I didn't want another yelling match again.

But then she surprised me by closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. When she opened them she looked calmer, still exasperated, but not angry. "I guess it was kind of unavoidable. Do you know when they might attack? If they'll attack?"

"No, I don't know, but I don't think Sam will attack now, with you all forewarned. He won't run a suicide mission for the pack. He'll wait until he thinks he has a chance."

She huffed again. "Well, I can't do anything about it now." She stood suddenly. The muscles bulged in her legs, unobscured by fat. She looked like she shouldn't be stable, but she was. She walked to the kitchen. "How about you get something to eat with me? When was the last time you ate something?"

I frowned, um...

She laughed. "I'll take that as too long. Come on, I assure you nothing is poisoned."

She walked into the kitchen. I kept close behind her, in case her stability was as poor as I believed it was. She walked sure footed though. I noticed her feet were like her hands, almost skeletal. I didn't know there was fat on your feet to be drained away.

Esme was in the kitchen, cooking whatever it was that smelt so amazing. She smiled softly at Bella and at me. "Do you think we could get something for Jacob?" Bella asked.

When the caramel haired vampire turned back again her smile for me was strange. The vampire didn't look any older than mid-twenties, but in that look she reminded me a lot of my mother. "Of course we can, after all that you're doing for us."

The vampire walked over to the fridge. "I'm afraid the lasagne in the oven is going to take a little while. We have plenty of leftovers though; beef stroganoff, bacon and egg pie, carbonara, spaghetti bolognaise, or would you like something sweet? There's mud cake, caramel tarts, ice-cream, cookie dough, cheesecake, tiramisu..."

Their fridge was massive, and it was full to bursting. My mouth watered as she listed off the foods.

"Just help yourself, our pantry and fridge are open for your use. Bella, are you feeling well..."

Bella cut her off with a fast nod. "I feel a lot more energetic, I can get it myself."

She smiled motherly at us both before disappearing. A few seconds later I heard the shower start to run.

Bella tilted her head at the noise. "Hey Jake, if you need anything I'm sure you can use it here. Like, if you need a shower or..."

"I can use the river." As much as I loved the idea of stinking up their house as much as possible, I wasn't showering in their house.

Bella nodded.

I looked over to where Edward was standing. He sat beside Rosalie, whose mate had returned. He watched us from his perch.

"Why's lover boy not following you around?" I asked.

She grinned and chuckled a little. "He doesn't like the smell of food, especially cheese." I noticed in front of her she had a pile of cheeses.

"Parmesan, blue cheese, feta, that's a little mean."

She giggled again. "Well, you probably stink enough that it doesn't matter how smelly anything I eat is. Plus, I like cheese, and I'm going to enjoy it while I can."

She cut up some of the cheeses, and took out a massive bowl of something from the fridge and put it in the microwave. "Do you like satay chicken?"

Right now, any food sounded good. I nodded. She also pulled out half a mud cake from the fridge; she cut a bug slice for herself and an even bigger one for me.

"Hey, Bella, do you think we could possibly eat outside... away from the smell."

"Sure, I need some fresh air anyway. I haven't been outside since... I can't remember."

I helped her carry the pile of food outside, to the porch. Edward and the blonde were talking quietly, too quietly for me to hear, but from their expression I guessed they were arguing. The big one joined in every so often.

We sat on the stairs. Bella smiled up at the sky, at the cloud obscured moon. "It feels nice to be outside – it's enough being trapped inside my mind, I don't want to be trapped in a box when I wake up too."

Bella took a small bite of blue cheese and sighed.

"Trapped in your own mind?" I questioned.

She nodded sadly, about to reply when a short white blur shot in front of us. I could only just follow. Bella jumped a little, choking on what she was going to say.

Izzy sat cross-legged in front of us, smiling guiltily and apologetically. "Sorry, I'm supposed to baby sit you. Rosalie is worried he's gonna throw you over his shoulder and run."

I rolled my eyes, Bella smiled understandingly. "You don't have to worry; Jake got that out of his system ages ago." I remembered when I picked her up and threw her in the ocean... when I had some chance with her. It was a bittersweet memory.

"Yeah, well, if I go back in there they'll only tell me to go back out. I can pretend I'm not here though, watch from a tree or something."

"I'm sure you'd make a great bird," I said sarcastically. She tinkled a laugh in response.

Bella ate another piece of cheese. Izzy's nose crinkled delicately.

"Sit upwind, I'm enjoying my cheese," Bella said. Izzy laughed again, sitting on my side. Her cold shoulder touched mine. I forced away the shiver.

"As I was saying," Bella continued, not changing the subject despite our new audience. "It is like I'm trapped, but of my own will. I guess it's like going in a cave," she grinned for some reason I didn't understand, "my senses are kind of taken away, but I can still feel my way around. It's disorientating, and after a few moments you learn to just trust your instincts, go with the flow for better a description. It's nice to be free, even if it's only for a little while." She took a deep breath, taking a scoop of peanut satay covered vegetables and chewing it aggressively. "God, I wish I could sleep."

"Why can't you?"

"Because I don't have the time," she snapped, and then took a long swig from a full-sized soft drink bottle. "I'm sorry, it's just. I guess I can blame it on lack of sleep. I haven't slept in weeks. My body can restore itself a little while I work on the baby, but my mind never rests. I've had a headache every time I wake up. I guess it's a good thing I can't feel my own body when I work on Rose's baby."

"God, Bella, why do you keep doing this to yourself?"

"Because I made Rose a promise, and I'm not going to break it."

I knew I'd get no further in that argument. We sat in relative silence for a while, the only sounds being the sounds of chewing, swallowing, and out heartbeats.

Eventually it was too quiet, Bella looked sad at that. So I forced out the first thing I could think of. "So, if you do survive this," it wasn't necessary to state how little chance that was of occurring. "What are you looking forward too when you're a vampire?"

Bella looked forward into the trees, eyes slightly unfocused. Her smile was wistful. "I can't wait for the indestructibility. Never having to worry about stepping on something sharp, something attacking you, really anything apart from you wolves and other vampires – it'll be fantastic. And not having to breathe, or probably even worry about pressure, I could explore the bottom of the ocean, Jacob. Can you even imagine it?"

All I could think of was giant squids, the titanic, and that weird fish with the glowing thing in 'Finding Nemo'.

I turned to Izzy on my side. I felt strangely rude to not include her in the conversation. "Well, you'd probably know the best, what is good about being a vampire rather than a human?"

Izzy looked to her hands, hair falling across her face. She looked shy. "I don't know if I feel indestructible. I feel pretty vulnerable still, especially when I see one of you wolves." I grinned at that, at least not all vampires were so arrogant to think we could be easily beaten. "There are good things, the speed for one. I could never have imagined it would feel like that, like you were flying. And then there's, um... the beauty."

She looked like she'd be blushing if she could, and her eyes wouldn't meet either of ours. Bella stopped shovelling food into her mouth for a second and smiled reassuringly. "You don't have to feel bad about admitting it. It comes with the deal. That's another thing I look forward to, being pretty like the rest of you guys. I feel like the troll of the family, and I can't help _always _feeling jealous."

Bella was anything but a troll, she was gorgeous. I did understand though, even with her red eyes the newborn beside me had perfected features. Right now, with Bella looking so wasted away ... I had to admit she was probably worse looking than the vampire beside me.

"Well, this new life... it's actually pretty good, better than my human one, anyway. It's nice to feel powerful; did you know I'm still stronger than Emmett?" She looked up at me and grinned smugly.

I looked down at her arms, they were pale and thin. The big guy inside was as bulky as me, and with vampire strength to boot. Bella had told me newborns were stronger than older vampires, just in strength not skill or anything else, but it was weird to actually see it.

"Arm wrestle, now, prove it," I held out my arm.

Izzy grinned even more smugly. She moved backwards, lying on her stomach with her elbow propping her up. I sat further down the stairs so I could use it like a table, and grabbed her cold, hard hand. Her hand was tiny in mine, her arm looked flimsy, but already I could feel strength in it. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.

Bella was grinning around a slice of parmesan. "Wait, I'll referee," she swallowed. She shuffled forward, in between us, right over our joined hands. "Three, two, one, go!"

I pushed against the marble arm in mine. Izzy flashed a blinding smile, her arm didn't budge. Her burgundy eyes sparkled. "Told you so," she said before smashing my arm into the wood.

I bit back a swear, and pulled my arm to me. That had hurt. I tried to feel for anything broken, but everything seemed to work as I flexed my arm. The pain faded after a few moments, probably just a muscle strain or bruising.

Izzy was grinning smugly, and Bella was full out laughing. Every third laugh was a cough, and the rest were wheezy. It was probably not a good idea to make Bella laugh.

"Oh Jacob," she said breathlessly, "God you're funny. You do know the only vampire you have a chance of beating in an arm wrestle is Alice? Actually no, not even her."

I glared at her.

"I think you wounded his ego, Izzy," Bella chuckled again. Izzy giggled from behind me. I turned my glare at her.

"I'd have beaten you if I was in wolf form."

"I highly doubt that," Bella said. "I know your limitations probably better than you, Jacob. Vampires are stronger. Wolves are faster though, reflexes not just running."

"Do you have to always study everything? Am I just an experiment to you?" I kept my tone joking, but was a little creepy, like an invasion of privacy. Bella laughed again, and almost choked on a bite of cake.

"Yes, of course Jacob, you're just an experiment. When I look at you I see a frog ready to dissect." She emphasized her sarcasm with a punch that was surprisingly forceful for such thin arms, and another coughing laugh. It made me laugh too, even though I couldn't help thinking her flat statement held truth. Sometimes it felt like she was toying with my heart, but she didn't realize that. "Jacob, you're my friend, not a text book to study. I enjoy your company not your anatomy."

"Well, that's reassuring," I muttered.

Bella chuckled again, shoving more food into her mouth. I copied her. I really was very hungry, and – even with a vampire sitting next to me, giving anything I ate a taste of flowers and fairy floss – the food was really good. The food didn't last long, between both of us gulping it down like we'd been starving.

Bella sighed after the last crumbs of cake had been licked from her plate. "I'm going to have to get back to Rose now, before she drags me in. The baby starts to panic after too long without me, and then it starts to kick and punch."

"Sounds like a wonderful child," I muttered.

Bella rolled her eyes. "Thanks for being here, Jacob, for doing all this... especially after all that has happened."

I didn't know what to say to that. She knew I only did this for her, and we both knew that by now I wouldn't get the reward of her love. Brotherly love and friendship didn't count. All I did was nod. She smiled sadly at me, giving me a little wave, before walking inside with the empty plates.

I stayed on the stairs. I wouldn't go back inside to see her begin to turn herself into a zombie, and I wasn't eager to run around in circles for an hour.

Izzy didn't move off, which surprised me. It seemed all the vampires wanted to watch Bella to some degree.

"You were a good babysitter, didn't even need to impose a bed time. Now you can go back inside."

Izzy frowned, and ran a hand over her forearm. "I, uh, don't really want to go inside."

"Why?"

She pursed her lips, then turned and frowned inside. No one watched from the windows, you couldn't see anyone inside, but I knew they were there. They were probably listening right now.

Izzy stood, walking forward across the yard. She waved at me to follow. My brow furrowed. I guessed she didn't want those inside to hear or see whatever she wanted to say. Either that or she thought I was a threat and thought she could take me out. It didn't seem like the latter. I couldn't guess what she wanted to hide though, and why she even tried. The mind reader would hear us anyway.

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**Review! I won't bore you with a reason to.**


	22. Guess you can get used to anything

**Sorry for the wait. Assignments and exams and stuff, but hey, tomorrow is my last assessment for the year! Now I just ahve to make all the Christmas presents and such in two weeks... :( **

**Anyway, I'm going to Europe soon! Yay! On the 15th, and I'm going to have absolutely no chance to update. I'd like to promise that I'll get type-y type-y and finish off teh story before then, but I'd be lying. I'll try and update double or tripple before I go though. I will be the typey, and get a few more done. **

**Long A/N, sorry. But here's the chapter.**

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20. Guess you can get used to anything

I led me about a hundred metres or so past the tree line. I followed, curious as to what she wanted to keep so badly from the house, from the rest of her coven. She kept her head down, though I doubted she needed to watch where she walked. I'd never seen a vampire fall over without being pushed, so tripping over a root was unlikely. No, her walk was smooth as any leech. She was just thinking.

I got bored of the walking eventually. I didn't want to leave Seth alone for too long. I sighed impatiently. "You know, if you're going to abduct me can you just do it already?"

She tinkled a laugh, but it sounded nervous. "I don't think I could kidnap you if I tried."

"You'd be right. I'd be able to get away from you easy as. I wouldn't even need to incapacitate you, you vampires are so slow."

"You're a little confident aren't you?"

"You're a little not," I pointed out. She'd stopped walking, but still wouldn't meet my eyes. She kicked her boot at a tree branch. The shoes look far too showy for walking in a rainforest. All the Cullens were like that though; I swear the pixie would wear heels rock climbing.

"I've always been shy." She looked up slowly, big burgundy eyes showing her worry and fear. "I guess it's a consequence of always being ordinary, weak. You don't attract attention fir being average, so I stopped trying. You definitely don't if you can't defend yourself."

Her smooth voice was soft and sad. It almost made me want to comfort her... almost. "Well, sorry about that, but hey, you're not weak or ordinary now! Anyway, if you've got nothing interesting to tell me then I guess I'll be leaving. I must resume my guard dog duties. Do you think I'd look good in a collar?"

Izzy giggled. "Yep, you'd look fantastic, especially with steel studs." I laughed.

"I don't know. I think I'd like to go for the whole diamante thing all those Chihuahuas are rocking these days."

She laughed again; she actually had a nice laugh... for a vampire. I chuckled quietly. Our laughter soon went quiet. I really had to be going soon. Leah would kill me if I let something happen to her brother because I was too lazy to run patrols with him.

I moved to go, and Izzy shot forward, immediately in front of me. "Jacob, please don't go. I don't want to go back there," she looked in the direction of the house.

"Why is that again? Are they rude to you or something?" She had kind invited herself into their family. Maybe they weren't so happy with the addition.

"No, there all nice, or at least they were. Now, well, there not _rude _I guess. They just... I don't feel like I belong there. They all feel so strongly about Bella, about Rose, about the baby. They've taken sides. I feel remarkably excluded for being a third party. Being impartial never seemed to be so terrible, but now it's like it's ruling me. Every time I look or listen from one side, the other gets irritated. Well, when they even notice me enough to care." She huffed and crossed her arms. "I don't belong there. They all have their other halves, and a million other things tying them together. I'm just the tag along."

I laughed harshly at that. "How do you think I feel? I'm worse than a tag along, a new member. I'm the ex-boyfriend who keeps on coming back."

"But you do have a tie, you have Bella. I don't think Bella even likes me. She puts on a good front, but sometimes I see her watching me warily. Not lately, but before all this." She sighed loudly. "First impressions I guess."

She looked really sad at that, and slightly irritated. "Hey, it wasn't true," I said, trying to comfort her. Well, guess I'd turned into the vampires' dog after all, offering a sympathetic lick. I should go before they collar me. "My first impression of you was a bloodthirsty newborn trying to hide in a corner."

She laughed weakly, cringing. "Again, I'm really sorry about that. Actually, I was just really, really scared. I didn't go there to fight. I didn't understand anything in those few days. I still don't, not very much. The Cullens told me Victoria was making a newborn army to take them out and get to Bella, that Victoria just picked anyone in Seattle, but she went out to find me."

I didn't understand that either. Victoria went and found someone with the same name as Bella – Izzy was short for Isabella as Bella had told me – but for what reason... Well, guess there some things I'll never know.

"Well, you can use that as a tie. Maybe it was fate for you to get tangled up into this mess."

She rolled her eyes. "That's sound like a very valid argument."

"I'd grown up all my life thinking that vampires and shape shifters were legends. Who's to say fate isn't real."

"True, but I don't want to think there a guideline to my life, that's it's all set out before me. I want to live, make my own decisions, not sit on a track like a train."

No, I didn't want to think life was preordained. I'd prefer to be able to choose. I still liked to hope Bella had a chance of survival, not that she was set to die now, and our whole painful history would be for nil.

I sighed, clapping my hands on my knees. "Thanks for the philosophical talk and all, but I've got to go. I've left a kid patrolling, I better make sure he's not gotten distracted chasing a rabbit or something."

I walked away, and frowned as she blurred to my side. "Can I join? I'm sure I'll be much more helpful out here than in there."

I contemplated sending her away. At least with Seth I could monitor where he was at all times, yell at him when I needed to. A newborn would be even harder to look after. For one, I couldn't communicate, for another she wouldn't be able to hold her own, and lastly they'd be much more likely to attack her than Seth.

Then again, did I want her to have to sit there, ignored, and watch while someone I think she cares at least a little about die for no real cause?

She looked up at me with those big doe eyes, pouting. I wouldn't be surprised if her lip started to quiver. Apparently the puppy-dog look works on werewolves.

I huffed. "Okay, whatever. Try to stay on the inside of our scent trails, not that it'll do you any good if the packs close enough to smell where we've been running." She smiled widely and did a little jump. I stifled a laugh at that. It must've been really awkward to get that reaction.

"Will do," she said.

"And if you smell any wolves, run back to the house and warn them, sprint back... or maybe climb a tree and hide. Don't fight. You won't win and I'm not going to be held accountable for you. Watch your own back." She nodded with each order, a determined set to her face.

"Anything else?"

"Yeah, close your eyes and stay here for a few minutes." I wasn't phasing in front of her – I needed these shorts. "I'll be back in a second."

Diligently she closed her eyes, folding to the ground to sit cross-legged. I stared for a few seconds, making sure she wasn't going to open her eyes. Then I jogged a few metres away, behind a tree. I changed in record time, stupidly worried she was going to get impatient and look for me.

But of course she was in the exact same position as when I left her. She looked like a statue, a really pretty statue that I doubted any human could actually sculpt. She looked smaller when I was in wolf form, and she smelled stronger. At least the air was mostly clear here, the leech smell wasn't so overwhelming.

I coughed.

She opened her eyes, and couldn't stop herself from jumping. I bared a laugh at her fright. It still brought irrational satisfaction that I could scare a vampire. She was the probably the only one who thought straight. The others didn't think I could take them. I so could, easy as pie.

Izzy smiled sheepishly, tucking a strand of long hair behind her air. It gleamed too strongly in this dull light. There were so many signs that vampires were different then humans, I don't see how they were fooled.

Izzy's eyes were downcast. "Um, sorry, but you're a little... intimidating."

I barked a laugh again, letting my tongue roll out and grinning as much as my wolf muzzle would allow. I succeeded in being a little less scary, because she giggled and stood, swatting at her now muddy jeans and giving up after a few seconds.

"Lead the way boy!"

I growled at her.

Seth laughed in my head.

_Any signs of attack yet?_

_No bro, you would've heard if there were. I got a pair of lungs on me and an urge to howl._

_Don't unless you see something, the Cullens are so tense that'd probably set them off._

Seth replayed what I could see in his mind, zeroing in on Izzy at the edge of my vision. _We've got another member?_

I didn't replay what she'd said to me. It seemed like a kind of private confession. I did give Seth a really quick sum up of it. _She doesn't feel comfortable there, and certainly not helpful. She's gonna help us patrol._

_Is that a good idea? The pack would attack her much faster than me or you._

I gave a mental shrug. _I told her what could happen. She'll watch her own back. She can climb a tree if she needs to._

_Hope not, one of the pack barking up a tree? That's embarrassingly stereotypical._

I gave a barking chuckle. Izzy looked up at me, jumping a little to the side. It didn't sound like a growl did it? I tried looking unthreatening again. I hated the lack of communication.

_You could blink Morse code._

_Funny, Seth, _he certainly thought he was. I could hear his own choking, growl of a chuckle through his mind.

I started to run, not as fast as I normally would, so the girl could keep up. Vampires were pretty slow after all. She kept up pretty easy though, bounding more than running, with the biggest smile on her face. It was probably a mixture of the running and getting away from the house with a legitimate excuse (because I know they wouldn't have made her stay, she must have stayed out of some obligation she thought she had to keep).

We came to Seth's scent line quickly. By the smell he'd run over it many times, enough to make a big wall of Seth smell.

Bella sniffed delicately when I stopped, and couldn't stop her nose from crinkling.

_I do not smell bad!_

_To her you do, kid._

_She wasn't cringing like that next to you._

That was odd. Bella stepped back from the scent, which ended up with her being closer to me. She still wasn't cringing. Then again, neither was I.

_You've been breathing through your mouth, man._

I took a sniff, and almost wished I hadn't. Izzy smelt like all leaches, overly sweet to sensitive wolf noses. I noticed Izzy wasn't breathing.

_See, you smell to her too!_

_I haven't showered in days, I'd probably stink to someone who'd been in a fire and had all their nose hairs burnt out._

_Run through the river, it's only about half a mile off where I've been patrolling. It's cold but at least then you won't kill the wildlife as you pass._

_Insulting people isn't nice, kid._

_Neither is calling people few years younger than you kids._

_But you are a kid, kid._

_Whatever, but stop just standing there and get your butt on patrol._

_Sure, sure._

Izzy just had been watching, waiting for me to instruct her. I frowned, huffing when I realized I'd have to use some sort of signals. I jutted out my nose in which direction I wanted her to run, and pawed at the ground how far I wanted her on the inside.

She nodded and started running. I ran after her, quickly overtaking her. I don't know if she'd be able to run away fast enough if the pack came.

I stopped worrying about getting the newest Cullen killed pretty quickly. I wouldn't stop her now. I tried to just keep my mind instinctual, running, dodging trees, dodging Izzy, occasionally dodging Seth (I was still faster even running slowly). Night turned to day, I ran through the river a couple of times, and there was no sign of the pack.

Not yet, anyway.

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**Okay, I guess it's getting pretty obvious where this story is leading. Guesses anyone? Review guys, they are fuel for the typey typey... except now I need to work on my English essay, I can never keep to word limits.**


	23. Cant a guy get a break around here?

**Guys, sorry I haven't updated but I really did have no opportunity. I didn't bring anything to write on when I travelled to europe. It was great by the way, except when all the group wanted to do was shop rather than see the amazing sights, but I'll stop complaining. Thanks for the reviews, even if they were just to try and get me to update. I love them all the same.**

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21. Can't a guy get a break around here?

I was just on the cusp of sleep. I growl chuckled at the word, my tired mind was quite easily amused.

I didn't know how long ago it was that I last slept, but I knew it was too long ago. I'd run patrol with Seth and Izzy. Seth had clocked out pretty soon after the vampire joined our rounds; I woke him up at dawn. It'd been about an hour, and I was tired enough that even Izzy was lapping me.

Seth had all but begged me to sleep after I almost ran into a tree. When I'd given an unformed thought of worry – I was too tired to articulate it – he'd said that I should just sleep as I wolf and he could yell to wake me up.

So I went closer to the house, inside the perimeter Seth and Izzy made but not so close as that my nose would be burned out by leech smell in the morning. Seth's thoughts were monotonous, and actually helped lull me to sleep.

It felt like I'd been asleep only moments when Seth's howl woke me. I lurched to my feet, blinking, eyes bleary and able to see just enough to not run into a bush.

I should've slept earlier. This tired probably even Colin could take me out. I ran faster, despite all my muscles objecting.

She was frozen, listening intently to the sound of padding paws. I listened hard through his thoughts too. It sounded like there was only one. Why would Sam send only one?

_Hello boys._

A shocked whine broke through Seth's teeth. Then we both snarled and ran towards the new thoughts.

_What the hell? Go away Leah!_ Seth groaned.

I met up with him just as he was about to let loose another howl, this time in complaint.

_Cut the noise, Seth._

_Sorry_, he dropped his head. _It's just, ugh…_

_What are you doing here, Leah?_ My thoughts were hostile.

_Ah, what a lovely welcome_, she thought bitterly. Then she turned her thoughts towards her brother. _I'm joining your renegade pack. Someone needs to look after you._

_I don't need to be looked after!_

_As if. You're just a kid. You always jump into everything without looking. I'm going be here to catch you if there are spikes where you'd land._

_Leah, you aren't joining our pack, because there is no pack. There is the pack in La Push, and me. Your brother's just a tag along. You turn around, go back to La Push, and take him with you, before I rip out your hamstrings._

_Hey, I'm not just a tag along. I've been helpful!_

Leah barked a laugh, ignoring her brother. _Like you could catch me. Want a race, o' fearless leader?_

I took a deep breath, trying to calm down before I would run after her and take a bite out of her hide. It was hard to stay in place.

I heard the slightest rustle, and looked up towards the noise.

Izzy was hanging in a tree about ten metres up. She was looking at us confused, probably wondering why we weren't running towards whatever we had howled at.

How do you communicate false alarm when you can't talk?

_How about you roll on your back like you want a belly rub? That seems pretty unthreatened behaviour_, Leah thought.

_It also sounds like something a pet dog with a brain the size of a walnut would do._

_That's what we are, aren't we? The Cullens guard dogs?_ She barked another sarcastic laugh.

I forced myself to calm again, especially because she was coming closer now. _Seth, can you run back to the Cullens house and tell them it was only your annoying sister? _

_Yeah, okay, false alarm and stuff, he ran off quickly._

Leah came through the nearest trees, very slim, small, and grey.

_You're just going to let him run off to the vampires alone?_

_Trust me; they'd much sooner attack me than Seth._

_That's not comforting at all._

_Why are you here Leah?_

_I'm here to look after my overeager brother, who isn't getting any help by you!_

_I tried to make him leave._

_He hasn't left yet. So as long as he stays here, I stay here. _

_Seth doesn't want or need your protection._

_Ha, there's a change. Okay Jacob, then tell me who does want me around?_ I couldn't. She barked a laugh. _Ha, you see, being unwanted isn't an unusual thing for me. It's not really a motivating factor for me to leave._

I gritted my teeth, frowning. I was trying to make sense of why she was coming here. She hated vampires, hated the Cullens, and would gladly be there to help tear them to shreds. Protectiveness towards her bother wasn't enough to pull her here.

_Of course it is, _she thought indignantly.

_No it isn't, you have another reason. _There was something else in her thoughts that I couldn't make out. She flinched at the intrusion into her mind. Usually I just tried to block Leah out, we all did, and she wasn't used to us trying to really see into her mind.

_Did Sam send you?_ I asked.

_No, if Sam had sent me here, you wouldn't be able to read my mind. My allegiance is with you, and this makeshift pack._

Our conversation was interrupted with Seth's shouted thoughts to Edward.

He was standing on the patio, face stone, if stone could feel pain. The big one was out there too, staring out at the woods. He retreated back into the house when Edward relayed Seth's explanation. Edward stayed outside, was still standing there when Seth left.

_He looks bad._

_He just doesn't want to be inside, to see Bella like that. _They both shuddered as I remembered Bella's lifeless eyes. Seth held sympathy for Bella; he didn't want her to die. Leah just held disgust, like she was a rooting corpse the Cullens were playing with.

_Well it's almost like that, she even looks like a zombie, _Leah defended herself.

_You have no business here, Leah. You don't like Bella and you hate vampires. Seth likes them, and I'm here for her. What's your real reason for being here, if you aren't a spy for Sam?_

_I told you,_ she thought grouchily, but I heard something in her thoughts, something she wasn't fast enough to quell before I saw it.

_You aren't here for Seth, at least not completely, are you? You're here to get away from Sam._

She cringed at the truth in my accusation. Most of the pack, me included, never wanted her company. Her thoughts were always so bitter and harsh; she was a pain to be around. Whenever she was around I just wish she'd leave.

It was when Sam thought like the pack, when he too wished she'd just go away, that was what hurt. That pain was so much that she'd do anything, ANYTHING, to get away from it. Even become the Cullens lapdog.

_I don't know if I'd go that far._ She didn't sound annoyed that I'd invaded her privacy so much. She seemed like she was letting her shields down a little, her thoughts were bleak with a barely contained tint of sadness. _I think I'd give killing myself a good solid try before I stooped that far._

_That's not funny, Leah, _Seth thought. _Mum and Dad would kill you if you did that._

_Wouldn't that be rather unnecessary at that point?_

_You know what I mean. They'd be devastated. I know you loved, love, Sam, but that was before. I'm sure everything will get better. Maybe you'll even imprint._

_Sure, kid, _Leah didn't sound hopeful.

_So if you are going to stay here, you might as well make yourself useful. What happened while we were gone?_

_Lots of howling, but you probably already know that. That's why it took so long for any of us to realize we couldn't hear either of you. After we did Sam was… _she didn't have to elaborate, we could see the flashes of his rage. _Anyway, Sam wouldn't attack right away with the Cullens warned. He was going to meet with the elders. We were all going to meet and plan in the morning. I don't know what, leading an attack is all but suicide at this point, but I wouldn't be wandering the forest alone if I were a leech. It's open season on vamps now._

_I asked to go home, and when I was human I started thinking. I did a whole lot of thinking that night. I didn't sleep all night. I was weighing up the options of making sure my brother was okay and having to sniff leech all day against attacking the Cullens and being Sam's pathetic ex-girlfriend he can't get away from until I learn to stop phasing. You know what I chose. I expect we'll be hearing something about it when Sam finds out._ She cocked an ear to the west. I heard a muttered thought that sounded a lot like 'if he even cares if I'm gone'.

_So what do we do now? _Seth asked.

_I guess we just keep a look out. That's all we can do. We can expand the perimeter a little with Leah here. Oh, and Leah, one of the Cullens is patrolling too, so try not to take a bite out of her 'kay?_

I pointed my muzzle up to the try where Izzy sat, peering down between a bunch of overlapping branches. With her hair falling around her face, she almost looked like part of it.

Leah looked up, and her lip curled. She almost growled. _What is she, a lookout or a bird?_

_Neither, I just told her to climb a tree if she heard or smelt a wolf that isn't one of us. That or run._

_Trees are probably a better option. Any of us could run down a vampire. She's the newborn isn't she? Isn't she a liability? I'm not saving her hide if one of Sam's pack gets a bite out of her._

_She can hide; you didn't even notice her did you?_

_No, but I can smell her now. I thought that was just the house. She didn't climb the tree she's sitting in._

_Well, if she can run along the tree tops, all for the better. I don't know about you, but I think climbing a tree is pretty hard without opposable thumbs._

_Maybe she could be a lookout, _Seth added. _She can see better than us, and then we don't have to worry about her as much._

_I guess, I'll tell her when I phase next._ I yawned loudly.

_You really need to sleep Jake. You weren't asleep ten minutes before Leah came._

_Yeah Alpha, you really should take a nap._

_You probably need to sleep too, Leah._

_Don't worry about me, general. You just go get your precious zuzz. Hey Seth, wanna see how many times I can lap you?_

_NO!_

She laughed and took off; he followed reluctantly as they started patrolling again.

Izzy dropped to the ground beside me. She landed as if she'd only hopped, not fallen from a thirty foot tree-top. She was frowning worriedly. "What's going on?"

How did she expect me to answer? Was she going to interpret my barks like I was Lassie? I wanted to growl in frustration. Instead I tried to give her a look to convey 'wait here' and ran off to phase out of her sight. How good was a vampire's vision? Surely she wouldn't see anything. I didn't know why I was worrying.

I came back quickly, clothed – well, I was wearing shorts – and she looked too worried and confused to have seen me change. Why did it matter so damn much to me? I almost felt like blushing.

"What happened? Who was that grey wolf? I'm sorry I didn't run back but it was running too fast. It would've caught me."

"It's okay, stop apologizing. You were supposed to climb a tree. You hide pretty well, actually. The wolf is Leah, and she is Seth's sister. She's joined our pack. She's on your side. Just don't annoy her though, she has a temper." Maybe it would be better off if Izzy monkeyed around on the treetops.

"Okay, I'll keep my distance."

I might as well suggest it. "Actually, do you think that you could stay on the treetops? Keep a look out from the canopy?"

She nodded, grinning. "Sure, any way to help I'll do it."

A yawn broke from my lips. "Okay, I'm going to find a place to crash."

"Oh, do you want me to bring out a mattress from the house or something? It'd stink to you, but it's better than being inside the house. No one's using them, anyway."

I laughed tiredly. "I was actually just going to curl up on the grass or something."

"Well, you can do that too," she said quickly, almost awkwardly. "You sure you don't…"

I cut her off. "I'm sure. You go find a tall tree to climb, and changed every so often."

"Ay, ay, captain," she said, grinning and falling into a crouch. I was surprised when I didn't automatically tense. I guess I really was tired. She sprung up twenty metres in the nearest tree, swinging easily to land on the next branch. She looked too graceful to be a monkey. Her teal of giggles met me from the ground. I guess there were some good points to being a vampire.

I looked around for a soft spot on the ground. I wasn't entirely eager to sleep on the ground, but I wasn't going to sleep on one of their reeking mattresses. I needed my nose.

I walked closer to the house, just into the tree line, far enough that the stink wasn't too bad, close enough that I could quickly leap to defend the house.

I ended up lying back on pile of rotting leaves and pine needles. I tried not to think about what had happened since I'd last slept. If I did I'd never sleep.

Unconsciousness came quickly, thankfully, but with it came fretful images of the future, and near as bad memories of what had happened already.

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**Okay, I'm going to try to write, but I've become really obsessed with assassin's creed lately. I promise to do some though. In fact I'll do some right now.**

**Reviews are the spark that help to start my writing.**


	24. Alpha business really, really sucks

**Yeah, I haven't updated in... 47 days... I'm just uninspired. Who knows, maybe I'll gain inspiration once my mother forces me to watch Breaking Dawn Part 2 for the first time. I will try to finish this for those few readers who are reading, but there aren't that many of you, and those who may be reading and not reviewing I don't count because if they can't be bothered reviewing I can't be bothered writing.**

**Okay, that was harsh, but I'm a little pissy after exams, bear with me.**

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22. Alpha business really, really sucks

It was dark when I woke up. I was probably really messing with my internal clock. My sleeping was crazy irregular. Whatever, didn't matter too much. There were much more important things than my sleeping patterns. Bella, for instance. Her skinny face was the first thing to pop into my head, and, though I couldn't remember my dreams very well, I was sure her face had been very frequent in those too. I did remember some details though, and cringed. Bella had been dead in a lot of my dreams.

I didn't rush to phase and patrol, even though that's where'd I'd likely be most useful. Instead I rushed to the house, terrified of how long I'd slept, if I'd missed the last hours of Bella's life.

I ran to the door, and was surprised when it was Carlisle who opened the door and not Edward.

"Good morning Jacob. I hope you slept well." It would have been a nice greeting, and was still surprisingly polite, but the good doctor seemed tired, hopeless, and sad.

It wasn't anguished, or sympathetic. I took that as a good sign.

"How is she?" I asked. I didn't see the point in pleasantries.

"She's much the same, but she is awake. Edward's inside with her. You better go inside if you want some time with her. The time she spends conscious is shortening. The fetus needs her more and more now. Soon she'll only have time for a glass of water."

"Can't she control it? I mean, just take a break for longer if she wants?"

He shook his head, his teeth gritted in frustration. His voice was angry as he replied. "No, it needs her, and Rosalie won't allow Bella to stop. The baby panics with Bella away. She explained a little about it to me, that if she's away too long Rosalie's venom could get inside the womb, and that it loses its human nourishment. Bella says it's painful for it, and that it needs equal human parts and equal vampire."

His explanation was all but lost on me. I didn't care about the fetus, about how the poor thing gets a boo-boo when it's not killing Bella.

"While I have the chance, I'd just like to thank you for your compassion. I'm sorry for what you had to give up to help us, and I'll be forever grateful you did."

"Don't mention it," I said.

He led me inside. The house smelt like leeches and food. Bella was on the couch, stuffing her face again. She looked even thinner than yesterday, those bags under her eyes made her face look even more skull-like. Her whole body was red and sweat glistened across it. She had a bowl of what looked and smelt like cookie-dough, choc-chip. On her left was another colossal bowl with a few strands on spaghetti still clinging to the sauce stained sides.

Edward sat beside her, his nose scrunched, maybe at me or the food in Bella's hands. Either way, he didn't move from her side. He barely covered up the burning man expression. His face was hopeless and his shoulders hunched. He stroked her knee softly, and the ever present jealousy in me surged.

"Jacob," Bella croaked. "It looks like you rolled in dirt."

I smiled lamely, "It's a good make-do mattress."

Bella frowned, glaring. "Do I have to get a clothes peg for your nose, or is it pride that stops you taking a mattress?"

"Bit of both," I admitted, Bella was too smart to not see past most lies I told.

She rolled her eyes. "Are you hungry, or are you too proud to refuse that as well?"

My stomach was feeling hollow again. "I could eat."

"Esme made cheesecake," Bella said, grinning, gesturing to another empty plate on the floor.

"Baked or French?"

"Baked of course," she said, like a French cheesecake was blasphemy.

"If you're willing to give some up," I said nonchalantly.

Esme was in front of me in a second, with a massive slice of cheesecake on a plate. She handed me a fork with a smile before disappearing again.

It tasted really good of course. I shovelled it even faster than Bella was demolishing the cookie dough. Edward's grimace grew at the eating, maybe it was the food rather than my stink. Edward shrugged just slightly. Okay, both then.

"So, what's happening on the outside?" Bella asked, grinning, in between spoonfuls.

"I don't know... some celebrity went to rehab for drugs."

Bella shot me a glare, but then laughed anyway. "You know what I meant."

"Well, Sam doesn't seem like he's going to attack right away. He might not ever; he's too far outnumbered now Leah joined the pack."

"Leah joined," Bella didn't look surprised. She just nodded, scraping her spoon along the edge of the bowl. "That's a good thing, now she can get away from Sam."

I raised an eyebrow; she came faster to that conclusion than I did. "Sometimes I think you know too much."

Bella's smile was more of a guilty grimace. "You don't know the half of it."

What was that supposed to mean? Edward shrugged beside her. Well, Bella's always been pretty secretive. "So, Leah's helping us patrol, and probably annoying the hell out of her brother with her over-protectiveness." Bella giggled. "And I guess that's about it. Did anything interesting happen here?"

Bella shrugged. "I don't know. I'm not exactly the person to ask. Edward, did anything happen while I was... you know."

He shook his head. "Rose drank another deer, you weren't conscious enough to notice. Emmett wants to join the patrols but he won't leave Rosalie. Jasper wants to run and find somewhere more defendable or hide. Alice is getting annoyed that she can't see anything. Esme's going to miss cooking after this," he didn't say after she either died or became a vampire. "Carlisle wants to run more tests. I don't know about Izzy, she's joined the patrols."

"Izzy joined the patrols!" That surprised her a lot more than Leah joining. I nodded. "Why? If the pack comes she'll be a massive target. She'll be killed in a second." There wasn't much protectiveness in her tone, she said it almost blandly. I guess she really didn't like Izzy, not that she wanted her killed. She sounded like she was talking about someone she didn't know, like a saddened news reporter not affected enough to be greatly grieved.

"I told her to climb a tree if she needs to. I think she'll do well as a scout. Vampires don't need a telescope after all."

Bella's frown smoothed a little. "Okay, but Jacob, just... I don't know, look after her I guess. Don't put yourself in harm's way or anything but... I don't want her getting hurt trying to protect me, trying to protect me and Rose."

"Where is the expecting psychopath?"

Edward actually smiled at that, out of Bella's view. She was glaring at me, the way that would have meant a slap was imminent in any other circumstance. I think even Bella didn't want to risk hurting herself now. "She's not psychopathic, she's just determined. I am too. I don't see there being any fruitfulness to this argument. I'm going to try my very best to give Rosalie her baby, and none of you can convince me to stop until I'm sure there's no chance of that happening."

I waited for her to add and no chance of her survival. It didn't come. But Bella didn't look resigned for death, she was far too stubborn.

She took a deep breath and a glug from an all-but empty bottle of Gatorade. She didn't look as angry after it.

"I'm sorry, Jacob. I shouldn't be angry with you, not when you're helping. Blame it on my lack of sleep." Her smile was as tired as her gruff voice.

"S'okay," I mumbled.

"Is it?" the blonde walked into the room. That massive balloon of a stomach made her walk a waddle as she moved towards the couch. "I think it'd be better if there was no stress or anger for Bella. She's tired enough as it is."

"Rose, I'm fine, it's good to be included in something, even if it is an argument."

"You need your strength, Bella." So she can suck it away.

Edward's mouth mashed into a hard line. I knew I was thinking the truth.

The blonde settled beside Bella, reaching out to take her hand. Bella grabbed it, and I was glad their wrists were too close together for me to see the red ribbons of her veins.

The big one sat on the floor beside the couch. He gave me one quickly assessing look, and then proceeded to ignore me. I wasn't that much of a threat now I guess. But it was true; I wouldn't be able to do anything with Bella attached to blonde. Not that I could've done much before.

I turned my back and walked away before Bella's eyes could turn blank. I didn't want to see the zombie again.

I had just walked out when I heard two howls. I jumped, phasing midair. I heard the ripping sound of my shorts tearing. Crap. Those were the only clothes I had here. Guess I might be on four paws for a while now.

_What is it?_ I thought.

Seth showed me what he was seeing. Leah was watching too, sprinting to her brother faster than I'd ever seen her run before. She was definitely the fastest. She was too angry and protective of her brother to feel smug at my comment.

_At least three, _Seth said.

Leah was pretty far away, and she couldn't hear or see anything. _No other point of attack at the moment._

_Seth, do not challenge them. Wait for me. _At least it was Seth and not Leah, few of the pack would attack the youngest Clearwater. The older...

_Yeah, yeah, yeah, you all want to take a snap at me. I get it, just shut up for the moment and run faster!_

_I think they're slowing down, _Seth said, cocking an ear. _Wait, I think, I think they've stopped. Are they waiting for us? _Seth listened quietly, and almost gasped. _Do you feel that?_

I listened, felt the strange feeling to the air. _Someone's phasing?_

_Sounds like it._

Leah arrived beside her brother, skidding to a halt and sending dirt flying at the speed of her brake. _I've got your back bro._

_They're coming, Jake, _Seth relayed. _Slowly, they're walking._

_Almost there, _I promised. I wished I was faster. It felt wrong to leave them alone when they could be in danger.

_Look who's getting all paternal on us, _Leah jibed.

_Firstly, you're older than me, can't really be fatherly to you, and second, focus._

_Four, _Seth interrupted, _three wolves, one man._

That got Leah's concentration back. She was just barely restraining from growling. She stood in front of Seth, clawing at the ground as she paced.

Then I made it to where they stood. Seth straightened, relaxing just slightly. Leah still wanted to stand in front of her brother, keep in out of harm's way, but she reluctantly moved back to my side. Seth took my right side, and Leah the left, a little grumpily.

_So now I rank under my little brother._

_Well, you've never been third before, it's still an upgrade. _

_Ranking under my little brother is not an upgrade._

_Shut it guys, rank doesn't matter right now! _Especially if the other pack was about to attack.

_I don't think they're attacking, _Seth said.

_Just be wary, kid._

They came into view, walking as Seth had said. Jared was in front, human. Paul, Quil, and Colin were behind, in wolf form. They looked wary, but not tense, studiously unthreatening.

It was odd that they sent Colin and not Embry. Was that to be less threatening? If I was Sam, sending a party into enemy territory, I'd send the more experienced fighter, rather than the kid.

_A diversion, _Leah suggested.

Were Sam, Embry and Brady making a move in the background? I couldn't see it. Sam wouldn't attack the Cullens with only two on his side.

Leah cringed at the picture. She still loved Sam, and thinking about him in a position when he would so easily be taken out. She whined. I almost whined too.

_I can check anyway if you want, _Leah offered. _I'll be back in two seconds._

Jared cleared his throat before I could respond. "White flag of truce, Jake, we're just here to talk."

_Think they're lying? _Seth asked.

_Maybe not, but..._I couldn't tell, they're faces were blank.

_Yeah, but, _Leah sniffed, she was still tense.

Jared frowned. "It would be easier to talk if I could hear you too."

I didn't feel like making myself an easy target, at least not until I felt more comfortable about the situation. I glared at him, huffing, sending a billow of hot hair to his face.

"Okay..." he drew out the word, exasperation in his tone. "Guess I'll be doing to talking then."

I nodded briskly. Leah growled in agreement.

"Jake, we want you to come back." Quil let out a soft whine, seconding Jared's statement. I ignored it, he was my best friend, but he was apposing my cause.

_They just don't want us opposing them, without you there is none of this, _Leah thought.

"You've torn our family apart. It's not meant to be this way. We know you feel... strongly about the situation with the Cullens. We know that's a problem, but this is an overreaction."

I scoffed a barking laugh. Seth's response was less sarcastic. _An overreaction, _he growled. _And attacking our allies without warning isn't?_

_Cool it Seth, _I said.

Jared's watched Seth warily. He took a step back. The wolves behind him looked a little less unthreatening.

"Sam is willing to take this slowly, Jacob. He's calmed down, talked to the other Elders. They've decided that immediate action is in no one's interest at this point."

_Translation: they've already lost the element of surprise, _Leah thought.

"Billy and Harry agree with you, Jake, that we can wait for Bella to either give up making the thing, or when she is not directly attached to it. Killing her is not something any of feel comfortable with."

Oh, so they're not comfortable with murder are they? Even though they'd thought of her as a threat after she changed. I bit back a snarl.

"Si we've decided to reassess the situation. We'll decide later if the thing turns out to be a problem."

_Ha, _Leah thought, _what a load of..._

_You don't buy it, _I cut in. It sounded too damn sensible for what's been happening the past few days.

_I know what they're thinking, Jake, what Sam is thinking. They're betting on Bella dying anyway. Then they'll figure you'll be so mad..._

_That I'll attack the thing myself, _I finished_. _What Leah guessed sounded pretty damn right to me. If the thing killed Bella I'd forget pretty quickly any good thing I'd thought about the Cullens. They'd just be bloodsuckers again. Leah's thoughts were pretty close to mine. Two things kept her from attacking the Cullens, me and Bella (she was grateful that Bella had saved her Dad, enough not to hate her too much).

_I'll remind you both, _Seth said.

_Sure sure, kid, but will I be in the position to listen._

"Jake?" Jared asked expectantly.

I sighed.

_Leah, make a circuit, just to be sure. I'm going to have a talk to him, and I want to be positive nothing is going to sneak up and jump of my back while I'm human._

_Give it a break, Jacob. You can phase in front of me. Despite my best efforts, I've seen you naked before. It doesn't do much for me, so no worries._

_I'm not trying to protect the innocence of your eyes. I'm trying to protect our backs. Get out of here._

Leah snorted but turned, running the perimeter. She was very, very fast, hopefully not to fast as to not notice everything.

_Don't worry; I've got my ears pricked._

Yeah, hopefully, that wind rushing past her face was pretty loud.

Nudity was an inconvenience that we all had to except. It was pretty common with most of us ripping out of our clothes, by accident or anger. Before Leah it was pretty okay, like a locker room. No one stared, everyone accepted that you were naked, it wasn't awkward.

Then Leah phased and it got more awkward. Unfortunately for her, she had about the same control on her anger as Paul, which means she was ripping out of her clothes at least twice a day. Everyone had accidently glimpsed it. It wasn't that she wasn't worth looking at, but it was so not worth it if she caught you thinking of it.

And not all of us were quite comfortable with her glimpsing things either. If movies held any truth, then girl's comments could be harsh.

_Jake, I can honestly tell you that I have not discussed... that._

I ignored the mental images that came with the word 'that'. I did not need to know that, thank you very much. Instead I phased to human.

"Oh hey Jake, where's Leah going?"

"Can you blame us for not being completely trusting in this situation? She's gone to check the perimeter for attack."

Jared paused, understanding but saddened at the mistrust. "We want you to come back man." Quil whined again.

"I know. I don't think it's that easy Jared."

"Come home. We can sort this out there. You don't belong here. Seth and Leah can come too. Everything will be normal again."

"I can't do that Jared. And I don't think everything can go back to normal. I think this is one of those things there aren't any off switches for."

"You still belong with us."

"There can't be two Alphas in the same place, Jared. We almost fought. It just gets too competitive, too instinctual."

"So are you just going to hang out with the parasites for the rest of your life?" he demanded. "You don't have a home here. You already have no clothes. What are you going to do, stay wolf all the time?"

"No, maybe, I don't know just yet. We're going to stay and wait to see how this all ends out. We are going to stay and see how things turn out. And before you say it, this isn't just about Bella. We're protecting those who should be protected, and that applies to the Cullens too."

Seth growled and gave a stiff nod of agreement.

Jared frowned. "I guess there is nothing I can say to you then."

He turned to Seth. "Sue wants me to ask you – no – to beg you to come home. She's broken hearted, Seth, both her children gone. Even Harry can barely comfort her. It's stressing him out, and you know how weak his heart is."

Seth whined. Leah and I growled. That was low.

Sue was tough, tougher than my dad, tougher than anyone I knew. "I think Sue can survive without her kids for a few more days. 'Course you can go if you want, Seth."

He sniffed.

The wolves turned their heads to the side. A second later I could hear the padding of paws on soft earth. Damn, Leah was fast. A second later she was in the open, skidding to a stop, and sending a pile of dead bracken flying over Jared. She coughed a laugh, and strutted back to my side. She held her nose aloft, and was studiously not looking in my direction.

I appreciated that.

Jared turned to her now. "Leah?" he said.

Her lips pulled back from her teeth. He didn't seem surprised by the hostility.

"Come on Leah, you know you don't belong here. Looking after leeches?" he raised his eyebrows, disbelief in his tone. "You hate them more than almost anyone. You don't have any ties to the bloodsuckers."

Leah snarled, and gave a deliberate look at her brother and then at me.

"So you're watching out for Seth, I get that." Then he gave a quizzical look to her and back to me. Probably wondering what the second look meant just as much as I did. "But Jake can look after himself, and he's not afraid to be here. Please, Leah, we want you back. Sam wants you back."

Leah's tail twitched. I watched her warily, she looked ready to bite.

"Sam told me to beg, to literally get on my knees if I have to. He wants you home, Lee-lee, where you belong."

Leah flinched when she heard Sam's old nickname for her, the one he used when they were still in love. Then she let out a mangled whine that quickly turned into a string of snarls and growls. I didn't have to be in her head to see the words she was yelling at him, you could already tell.

I almost stepped in front of her. Jared looked in danger of losing an arm. Paul was stepping forward beside him, tensing to spring at Leah if needed.

"I think I may be right in assuming that Leah belongs wherever she wants to be."

Leah gave another growl, this time in agreement, and nodded.

"Look, Jared, we're still family okay, but I think you guys should stick to your land. No one wants a family brawl. Sam doesn't want it either."

"Of course, we'll stick to our land, but where is your land, Jacob? Is it vampire land?"

"No, homeless for the moment, but don't worry, this won't last forever. There isn't that much time left. Then the Cullens will probably leave, and Leah and Seth will run off home."

Leah and Seth whined in unison, and turned to me worriedly. I know what they were wondering, why did I not include myself.

Jared voiced their question. "Then where will you go, Jake?"

"I don't know... somewhere. I don't think I can go back to La Push now, two Alphas and all..."

"What will we do if we need to contact you before... whatever happens, happens?"

"Howl, but stick to the border okay? We'll come to you. And Sam doesn't need to send so many. We aren't looking for a fight."

Jared scowled, but nodded. He didn't like me setting to conditions for the pack. "See you around then... or not."

"Hey, Jared, is Embry okay?"

"Yeah, sure, why do you ask?"

"Just wondering," I mumbled. Jared frowned and turned, walking away. Colin and Paul followed him.

Quil stayed, he was watching me. He yelped softly.

"Yeah, Quil, I miss you guys too."

He whined.

"Tell Embry I miss having you two on my flanks."

He nodded.

Leah snorted when Quil took a step forward. But when he looked away from me it wasn't at her, it was behind him, where the other guys were already out of view.

"Yeah, go home."

He whined again, but turned and ran after Jared and the others.

I phased back to wolf.

_Thank god, for a second I thought you two were going to make out, _she snickered.

_Quil's not really my type. _I paused for a second, watching her. _You okay? What Jared said was below the belt._

_Yeah, I'm fine... _you could hear the lie in her thoughts. It sounded familiar; I wonder how many times she'd tried to trick herself into believing that.

_You know it's okay to be sad sometimes, me and Seth could give you a moment._

_Nah, it's cool, I'm used to it. There are advantages to becoming a harpy._

_You aren't a harpy, Leah, _Seth said. _And I agree with Jake, what Jared said, what Sam did, was low. Can you believe he tried to guilt trip us with Mom?_

_Yeah, Jared's pretty calculating sometimes. _He was normally the one who planned our strategies.

_I guess we know why Embry wasn't allowed to come, _Seth thought.

_What? Why? _I asked.

_Dude, did you see Quil? He was about to disband from Sam's pack right there and then. I think the only thing stopping him was that he has Claire back in La Push. If Embry had come they would've joined us, I know it. Sam doesn't want out pack getting any bigger._

_Really, do you think so? I mean, I doubt Embry would mind shredding some Cullens._

_Trust me, Quil and Embry would much rather stand behind you than behind Sam._

_Well then I'm glad Sam kept him home. This pack is big enough and I don't want to put my best friends in danger. _Because if it came to a fight, they would be. Quil and Embry would be less easily restrained than Leah and Seth; they might get hurt in the process. I couldn't think that the pack would actually try to kill any of us, restraining was the most they would do.

_That's your aim isn't it? _Leah thought. _If it comes down to a fight, we're just a distraction, something to give the Cullens time to run away in._

_Yes, because they don't want to hurt us either. _

I thought to the psychopathic blonde. _Well, not all want to hurt us, but I doubt even those who do want to kill us._

_From what you've showed us Jake, I think she'd only want to kick you to get your smell away, _Seth joked.

_You probably smell just as bad, kid._

_Honestly, guys you both smell. _Leah said. _Why don't you go take a dip in the river?_

_Why don't you, _both Seth and I said in unison, before bursting into barking guffaws. And then I ran in case she got close enough to strip my hide.

* * *

**I'll try to update more guys, but please review. I posted this because I got a review.**


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